BURGLARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS: Bernie Rhodenbarr tends to work alone. Some call him a sleuth. Some call him a burglar. But who could resist being hired - and pocketing a nice, easy fee - for a simple break-in? But nothing's ever that simple. No sooner is Bernie inside the apartment when he discovers the item he's to collect is missing - and in its place is a dead body. Accused of murder and on the run, Bernie must figure out who set him up and why. THE BURGLAR IN THE CLOSET: Bernie's all ears when his dentist starts complaining about his soon-to-be-ex-wife, and happens to mention the valuable diamonds she keeps lying around. A couple of nights later Bernie's in her apartment with larceny on his mind, but has to duck into a closet when she unexpectedly returns. Unfortunately he's still there when an unseen assailant kills her and then vanishes with the jewels. Now Bernie's got to hunt down the killer who left him hanging. THE BURGLAR WHO LIKED TO QUOTE KIPLING: Bernie, bookseller and thief, can't resist the lure of a long lost Kipling poem, even if it is locked inside a millionaire's high security library. Bernie manages to break in and find the poem - but also discovers a dead redhead. Now Bernie has to prove his innocence - and fast. THE BURGLAR WHO STUDIED SPINOZA: Bernie doesn't often get philosophical about his criminal career. He's good at it, it's addictively exciting - and it pays a whole lot better than being a bookseller. But he's latest heist gets him in his biggest fix yet when two other burglars are involved. THE BURGLAR WHO PAINTED LIKE MONDRIAN: By day he sells books, by night he's a master of illegal entry. But this time Bernie didn't do the burglary - but one missing painting worth a quarter of a million dollars, two corpses and a very clever frame-up put him on top of the most wanted list...