Brian and Cara Croft are on to something.

Pastors often spend so much time shepherding others in their congregation that they fail to lead those under their own roof. In The Pastor's Family: Shepherding Your Family through the Challenges of Pastoral Ministry, the Crofts offer their insights into overcoming the challenges of pastoring one's own family.

The strength of this book lies in the Croft's understanding of the issue. They get it. As a pastor and pastor's wife, they understand the unique pressures of ministry. They live every day in the crucible of inflated expectations and limited time. They are able to identify men from the ministry world, often those we revere, who have struggled in the area of leading their families. They clearly get the unique challenges of ministry. The fact that each write portions of the book from their unique perspective as a pastor and pastor's wife is fantastic.

The insight they offer is helpful, if sometimes vague. While the book offers some specific ideas on shepherding one's family, it speaks more in generalities when it comes to specific advice. Most pastors will read this book and nod their head, thinking, "I know what you are talking about there, brother." But, in the end, Croft offers no earth-shattering new perspectives on how to overcome the tensions that tie up most pastors. Almost all of his advice is "old hat": take your day off, use your vacation time, shelter your family from unrealistic expectations, lead family worship, etc. This simple advise is a lesson in itself, I think. Most of what we need to do to develop healthy pastors' families falls in the category "Things I already know but don't prioritize highly enough." Perhaps that is the genius of The Pastor's Family. It turns our minds back to the simple truths of Scripture. It calls us to account for the things we already know, proclaim in our pulpits, but seldom embody. In the end, there is no magic pill to swallow that gives us healthy families.

Great Quotes

"A pastor's heart is no different from any other heart. A pastor's neglect of his family cannot simply be blamed on the pressures, demands, and unrealistic expectations that have been placed on him. In the end, the struggle he faces - and the neglect of the family - has one root cause: a sinful heart" (45).

"A pastor who truly delights in his wife needs to communicate that delight to her so she feels cherished by her husband. His goal is not just to observe the letter of the law he should seek to be faithful to the intention behind these commands by cultivating a giddy delight in his wife and the intricacies of her personality. Ask God to make your wife grow more precious to you every day" (57).

"Being overlooked and feeling unimportant go hand in hand with the struggle a pastor's wife has with loneliness. Your role as a wife is lived out in the shadow of your husband. you are seen by many, yet at the same time you are invisible" (74-5).

"When a pastor's wife feels the pressure to be all things for all people in the church, one of the best ways for her husband to protect her is to advise her to say no, giving her permission to be herself and to resist the demands of others" (97).

"Like most pastors, you probably affirm the importance of shepherding the souls of your children. But the real issue isn't whether or not you affirm it; it's "Do you have a plan?" (114).

"A pastor or pastor's wife who is disenchanted about the work of ministry will inevitably raise children who become disenchanted with ministry and the church" (122). ( )

Featuring insights from the perspective of both a pastor and his wife?The Pastor’s Family identifies the complicated burdens and expectations ministry brings to the life of a family. Brian and Cara Croft identify the unique challenges that pastors face as husbands and fathers.  They also discuss the difficulties and joys of being a pastor’s wife and offer practical advice on raising children in a ministry family.  In addition to addressing the challenges of marriage and raising children, they also highlight the joys of serving together as a family and the unique opportunities pastors have to train their children and lead their families.    With discussion questions for use by couples and pastoral reading groups, this book is ideal for pastors and their spouses, pastoral ministry students and their wives, as well as elders, deacons, and others who wish to remain faithful to the care of their families while diligently fulfilling their calling in ministry. The Pastor’s Family equips pastors with time-tested wisdom to address the tension of family and congregational dynamics while persevering in their calling.

Short, to the point, convicting. Needs to be read often. ( )

Short, to the point, convicting. Needs to be read often. ( )