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How to Make a Life: A Tibetan Refugee Family and the Midwestern Woman They Adopted

von Madeline Uraneck

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An immigration story of crossing cultural bridges and finding family. When Madeline Uraneck said hello to the Tibetan woman cleaning her office cubicle, she never imagined the moment would change her life. After learning that Tenzin Kalsang had left her husband and four children behind in a Tibetan refugee settlement in India to try to forge a better life for them, Madeline took on the task of helping her apply for US visas. When the family reunited in their new Midwestern home, Madeline became swept up in their lives, from homework and soccer games to family dinners and shared holiday traditions. By reaching out, she found more than she bargained for--a family who welcomed her as their own and taught her more than she offered them. An evocative blend of immersion journalism and memoir, How to Make a Life shares the immigration story of a Tibetan refugee family who crossed real and cultural bridges to make a life in Madison, Wisconsin, with the assistance of the Midwestern woman they befriended. From tales of escaping Tibet over the Himalayas, to striking a balance between old traditions with new, to bridging divides one friendly gesture at a time, readers will expand their understanding of family, culture, and belonging.… (mehr)
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Birds fly above and around us every hour of every day, and we barely notice them. But if one flies crookedly, it captures our attention. Those things which are outwardly peculiar are most liable to stimulate our sense, so that we seek the inner meaning.
--Jalal Al-Din Al-Rumi, 13th century Sufi poet, Afghanistan and Asiatic Turkey
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To the memory of my parents, Carl and Barbara Uraneck, who hinted for a story or a poem as a gift for their every birthday, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and Christmas of my childhood; to my country school teacher, Dale R. Jordan, who inspired detailed outlines, multiple drafts, diagrammed sentences, and responses to five decades of personal letters; and to Tenzin Kalsang, who smiled when she said, "Tibet!"
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If those who journey abroad are categorized as either tourists, travelers, or global citizens, I fall somewhere between traveler and global citizen.
Author's Note: As I collected the stories shared here, my written notes became repetitive swirls of Tenzins, Pemas, and Migmars--names that are commonly repeated in Tibetan culture, often within households.
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An immigration story of crossing cultural bridges and finding family. When Madeline Uraneck said hello to the Tibetan woman cleaning her office cubicle, she never imagined the moment would change her life. After learning that Tenzin Kalsang had left her husband and four children behind in a Tibetan refugee settlement in India to try to forge a better life for them, Madeline took on the task of helping her apply for US visas. When the family reunited in their new Midwestern home, Madeline became swept up in their lives, from homework and soccer games to family dinners and shared holiday traditions. By reaching out, she found more than she bargained for--a family who welcomed her as their own and taught her more than she offered them. An evocative blend of immersion journalism and memoir, How to Make a Life shares the immigration story of a Tibetan refugee family who crossed real and cultural bridges to make a life in Madison, Wisconsin, with the assistance of the Midwestern woman they befriended. From tales of escaping Tibet over the Himalayas, to striking a balance between old traditions with new, to bridging divides one friendly gesture at a time, readers will expand their understanding of family, culture, and belonging.

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