James Ambuehl

Let's discuss the dick-punching Frankenstein in the room.

This is a book of stories about the monster god Ithaqua, the Wendigo, the Thing That Walked on the Wind.

On to the dick-punching Frankenstein.

Imagine you love a monster. Let's say Frankenstein's monster, who I'll just call Frankenstein because, hell, it's his father's name. Let's say Frankie has a very specific way of killing victims: punching them in the dick.

That's cool. In isolation.

Imagine picking up a book of Frankenstein stories. You read the original stories, get psyched at the classic reveal of the dick-punch, and settle in for the long run.

Then . . . the pattern emerges.

Every story . . . every story . . . follows the formula of "Person encounters Frankenstein, stuff happens, Frankenstein punches person in the dick." No matter how witty the commentary of editor Robert M. Price is between stories, you know where it'll all end. Sooner or later, Frankenstein will punch someone in the dick.

Except for one story where Frankenstein gets in a WW1 dogfight, punch after that it's back to the dick-punching.

The stories are technically good; they just get kinda samey. For contrast, its sister volume The Tsathoggua Cycle seems much more varied to me.

I love wendigos. They're a core part of the world-building in my book Murder With Monsters. I just need them shaken up a bit every once in a while.

Still, as comfort food, spread out far enough, sometimes you just want to sit outside on a cloudy night when the wind is howling and read about Frankenstein punching someone in the dick.… (mehr)

Down and out PIs, doublecrossing dames, and wiseguys mix surprisingly well with the Cthulhu Mythos.

Some of those wiseguys are "Eldritch-Fellas". Tim Curran's tale of that name mixes said fellas trying to avoid an indictment by the Elder Gods with several hat tips to famous scenes from modern gangster movies and tv shows. Cthulhu, here, is, in the words of his bosses, "getting out of hand". Funny, something of a tour de force, and one of the best stories in the book. The mob hitman narrating William Jones' "A Change of Life" happens to be temporarily possessed by a member of the Great Race of Yith. The unusual perspective of the story, and the reason he involves himself with a singer fleeing Dutch Schulz, make this another highlight.

The mob enforcer of David Witteveen's "Ache" has unexpected sympathy for his quarry, a youngster studying the Yellow Book and on the run for stealing mob money. E. P. Berglund's "A Dangerous High" puts an ex-military policeman on the trail of a gang dealing in Tind'losi Liao, the drug from Frank Belknap Long's classic mythos story "The Hounds of Tindalos".

Lesser Lovecraft stories inspired Patrick Thomas' "Then Terror Came" and Cody Goodfellow's "To Skin a Dead Man". Thomas' story has the Department of Magical Affairs, a mostly overt Federal agency that handles occult menaces, and an ex-serial killer who works for them. The confusing plot of Goodfellow's story is full of doublecrossings. But the plot isn't the point. The story takes off on the black humor of Lovecraft's "Herbert West - Reanimator" as we meet backstreet corpse revivalists, zombie boxers, and a bored wizard.

Things need to be stolen in several stories . In James Ambuehl's "The Pisces Club" an amulet needs to be stolen from the Kingsport offshoot of the Esoteric Order of Dagon. In John Sunseri's "A Little Job in Arkham", it's nice to learn that Miskatonic University has finally put in some decent security for its rare book collection. "The Roaches in the Wall" by James Chambers explains why an extremely effective pesticide can't be allowed to remain in the wrong hands.

David Conyers' "Outside Looking In" is one of the few stories in the book that actually is kind of horrifying and starts out with the classic hook of a detective's subject of investigation turning up dead. Eric J. Millar's "The Devil in You" brings a little bit of a twist to the dectective- saving-damsel-from-human-sacrifice plot. "The Mouth" from William Meikle, featuring a British police detective, was one of the weaker stories here, not bad but it didn't do anything new with its story. Occult detective Anton Zarnak meets a worshipper of Azathoth in "The Questioning of the Azathothian Priest" by C. J. Henderson. A detective has to pay a favor back to a mobster by picking up some Vermont moonshine in "The White Mountains" by Jonathan Sharp, and he runs afoul of some degenerate rustics there. There is a detective in "Some Thoughts on the Problem of Order" by Simon Bucher-Jones, but the story is mostly an hilarious look at a world where the ethics of the Lovecraftian deities are the norm and altruists, atheists, and Christians are the deviants. The hero of Ron Shiflet's "Unfinished Business" finds out protecting art can be a hazardous business - particularly when the artist is Richard Upton Pickman.

Not all the stories feature cops, criminals, and detectives. Totally out of place given its prehistoric setting was Steven L. Shrewsbury's "Day of Iniquity" (though it does feature a rescue mission of sorts). I suspect that if I had actually read any Conan stories I'd like it better. A bomber pilot falls into the hands of a monster worshipping cult during the first Iraq War in Jeffrey Thomas' "Pazuzu's Children". The hero of Robert M. Price's "The Prying Investigations of Edwin M. Lillibridge" is a reporter, and the story is a sequel of sorts to Lovecraft's "The Haunter of the Dark".

Along with the Curran work, the stories that, by themselves, justify buying this volume are J. F. Gonzalez's long "The Watcher from the Grave" and Richard A. Lupoff's "Dreems.biz". Gonzalez's characters are all from the world of horror: a pulp writer and a small press publisher of horror. Sure, other mythos stories have given us histories of the real Necronomicon but few as elaborate as this secret history involving Sonia Greene, John Dee, Aleister Crowley, and one James Smith Long, 19th century horror writer. The story treats the pulps and horror genre with affection. Lupoff's story combines his love of Lovecraft and Philip K. Dick in Dreems.biz, a service that offers an extensive catalog of lucid dreams one can enter and control, the possibility of reliving many historic events, of being many real and fictitious people. The narrator decides he wants to be Lovecraft as he writes "The Call of Cthulhu". It's not for nothing that's the story with the dreaming god.

Twenty-one stories and one poem and, while some may be nothing special, most are good, a few exceptional, and none outright bad.… (mehr)

Hardboiled Cthulhu is the latest jewel in Elder Sign Press' splendored crown. I wish there was an editor's introduction explaining the history of this title, who thought of it, how the stories were selected and the publication history, because this book is fabulous. So many mythos collections have workman-like slogs through common mythos tropes that are really burdensome to read. I bought a very expensive copy of Weird Shadows Over Innsmouth and I am still working my way through it months later. Working is the operative word. I devoured Hardboiled Cthulhu in two sleep deprived evenings, chortling to myself the whole time. Dang it, this collection was just plain fun to read! In just about every title I can almost feel the author's sheer enjoyment writing their story, how much they relished the concept and how they probably typed with break neck enthusiasm. Although most of the critters, creatures and books are tried and true for the mythos, these authors are all confident and brimming with talent; the stories are marvelously original.

Some housekeeping: The book is a handsome trade paperback, well up to Elder Sign Press' usual excellent standards. No autographed collector edition signed by the authors, more's the pity! The wonderfully evocative cover art is by David Senecal and is perfectly in tune with the collection's theme: world weary private eyes and HPL's mythos, kind of Raymond Chandler and extradimensional tentacles. Price is $11.67 at Amazon, with free shipping available if you buy at least $25 worth of stuff. This is heavily discounted from list $17.95. Page count is a generous 330, just about all devoted to the stories and counting a few pages of mini-bios of the authors at the end. Production qualities are high; I can't recall any typos. Only five of the stories were published in any forum prior to this book, mostly obscure mythos magazines that only the most assiduous collector would have. The exception is Jeffery Thomas' Pazuzu's Children that was just released in Unholy Dimensions by Mythos Books. Heck, it was a great story in that book and it's still a great story. Many kudos to James Ambuehl, the editor. I think this was his first solo editing effort and it is a smashing triumph. OK, so there are a few things that did not win me over, but they were all minor!

Here are the contents:

Sleeping with the Fishes (Poem) -- James Ambuehl
The Pisces Club -- James Ambuehl
A Change of Life -- William Jones
Ache -- David Witteveen
A Dangerous High -- E. P. Berglund
A Little Job in Arkham -- John Sunseri
Day of Iniquity -- Steven L. Shrewbury
Eldritch Fellas -- Tim Curran
Outside Looking In -- David Conyers
Pazuzu's Children -- Jeffrey Thomas
The Devil In You -- Eric J. Millar
The Mouth -- William Meikle
The Questioning of the Azathonthian Priest -- C. J. Henderson
Some Thought on the Problem of Order -- Simon Bucher-Jones
The White Mountains -- Jonathan Sharp
The Terror Came -- Patrick Thomas
The Prying Investigations of Edwin M. Lillibridge -- Robert M. Price
The Roaches in the Walls -- James Chambers
To Skin a Dead Man -- Cody Goodfellow
Unfinished Business -- Ron Shiflet
The Watcher From the Grave -- J. F. Gonzalez
Dreams.biz -- Richard A. Lupoff

Spoilers may follow so stop reading now if that bothers you*******

Sleeping with the Fishes (Poem) -- James Ambuehl - You know, I just never much enjoy mythos poetry. I think really fine poetry is incredibly difficult to write.

The Pisces Club -- James Ambuehl - Mr. Ambuehl's writing career is a long love letter to HPL, so thoroughly does he delight in the mythos and his own contributions to it. Much of his stories are pastiches in the best sense. But The Pisces Club is his highest achievement and his best prose. It is savory detective story laced equally with horror and humor. The name Professor Phil Craft is probably a tip of the hat to the master. I kept laughing out loud as I read it.

A Change of Life -- William Jones - William Jones is a bigwig at Elder Signs Press, where his editorial skills are very much in evidence. This prose shows a deft touch also. The Great Race? Bah! The Noir Race!

Ache -- David Witteveen - This is my first encounter with Mr. Witteveen, another writer in a wave of Australian talent cresting on our shores. This hardbitten tale features a mob enforcer who brushes up against the wearer of the Pallid Mask.

A Dangerous High -- E. P. Berglund - Mr. Berglund has done many great things for the mythos as an editor, a compiler and an author. Alas, out of all the stories in this book, A Dangerous High was the one that did not really grab me. I don't know why. I like Berglund's style and it was a good concept of illicit narcotics associated with the Hounds of Tindalos tracked down by a PI. Maybe it was just the prose.

A Little Job in Arkham -- John Sunseri - I don't recall reading anything by Mr. Sunseri before. I hope he is writing more mythos stories. If you want to steal and ancient tome from good ole Miskatonic U, hire a pack of thieves.

Day of Iniquity -- Steven L. Shrewbury - Mr. Shrewbury (who should change his middle name to Laban...) is becoming more overtly active on the mythos writing scene, which is our good fortune. The thing is, this story, while a great read, seemed out of place. It was like a good Sword & Sorcery yarn, not really a detective type story. Maybe it was meant for Eldritch Steel? A barbarian follower of Wotan leads his tribe to achieve vengeance on a dark cult.

Eldritch Fellas -- Tim Curran - Tim Curran is a terrific writer, widely published. This story was a hoot! I think diet coke came out of my nose while I was trying to read it. The title says it all.

Outside Looking In -- David Conyers - I have sung the praises of Mr. Conyers, another gifted Aussie, before. This story was great! Like in Dark City, the world is not what it seems. Do you really want to know the truth?

Pazuzu's Children -- Jeffrey Thomas - Not really a noir story, but a terrific read. A pilot in Desert Storm is captured after a bombing run by followers of an unspeakable cult.

The Devil In You -- Eric J. Millar - A no good drunk in a bar tries to do a good deed by helping a pretty girl in a gin joint. Complications ensue. Mr. Millar is a young author, new to me and he can write a mean mythos tale. I hope to see more of his stories in the future.

The Mouth -- William Meikle - Willie Meikle established his noir credentials in The Midnight Eye Files. Alas this is not a new Derek Adams story. No matter, this is a tightly written page turner about a cop who employs a medium to track a vicious murderer.

The Questioning of the Azathonthian Priest -- C. J. Henderson - You can't have a noir mythos collection about hardened PIs without having a CJ Henderson story! This one is an all new great Anton Zarnack yarn.

Some Thought on the Problem of Order -- Simon Bucher-Jones - Mr. Bucher-Jones is famous for his Dr. Who work. Can we have some more mythos please? Gosh, this was nifty story, turning things around sort of like Gaimen in A Study In Emerald.

The White Mountains -- Jonathan Sharp - This is Mr. Sharp's first published story. Great! Keep `em coming. If you can help it, never help someone go buy bootleg moonshine. If you go to buy bootleg moonshine, do not make eyes at the misshapen entrepreneur's wife.

The Terror Came -- Patrick Thomas - Eldritch detectives detect better when they are eldritch themselves.

The Prying Investigations of Edwin M. Lillibridge -- Robert M. Price - I confess it. I am not a Price fan. Usually his prose is leaden and derivative. But this was a nice conventional mythos story about a nosy reporter trying to solve some kidnappings.

The Roaches in the Walls -- James Chambers - I previously read The Tale of the Spanish Prisoner by Mr. Chambers in Warfear. It was OK. This one blew me away! It was brilliant. What a concept! What an ending! Man those Elder Gods are crafty.

To Skin a Dead Man -- Cody Goodfellow - Whatever else Mr. Goodfellow does I will be forever in his debt for his novel Radiant Dawn, an absolute bravura performance. This ghoulish story of love and betrayal and zombies and stuff defies ready description. I loved it!

Unfinished Business -- Ron Shiflet - Mr. Shiflet moves from strength to strength as a mythos writer. Pickman's ghouls are, um, alive and, um, well. You can hire a big mook to guard your highly collectible art but art groupies live in a dog eat dog world. Nicely done, Mr. Shiflet!

The Watcher From the Grave -- J. F. Gonzalez - I never read anything by Mr. Gonzalez before. I will have to remedy that soon! Literary estate executor is not a healthy profession in a Lovecraftian collection.

Dreams.biz -- Richard A. Lupoff - And finally, hats off to the accomplished Mr. Lupoff. I wish he would write more mythos. This is a cross between Total Recall and Netflix. Gosh it was good!

So in summary, a masterful collection. Bargain priced, bristling with vitality, most of the big names in mythos fiction. What else do you need? Urgently recommend!… (mehr)