Chrysta Bilton

I didn’t realize there would be so much name dropping or that the author’s family members had notable people in their lives and that even without the sperm donor shared father they could be well known. The author’s mother was particularly interesting in this regard.

Even before I started it I knew this book might be depressing for me. That was just when I knew about the family/multiple siblings. That was before reading about the privilege, which was immense, though interspersed with its opposite.

I am an only child and always wanted siblings. I would have been delighted to find half siblings the way the author has. I remember feeling disappointed but not surprised when I sent in my DNA and found out that my parents really were my biological parents. It would have been lovely to find another family to which I belonged.

The book is mostly about the author’s growing up years in a dysfunctional family. The half siblings come into the picture well into the book and were not the main part of the story.

This account was head spinning. The author, her sister and especially her mother experienced so many lifestyles, relationships and life experiences. The level of privilege was insane. The level of chaos was insane. The amount of lying and of hiding the truth was insane. The life challenges were insane.

Two things fascinated me the most: The author’s mother was one. She’s an interesting and memorable person. I found her aggravating but at times also (sort of) endearing. Mostly annoying though. The other was the nature/nurture argument about which I’ve always been interested. Here there is a compelling argument for nature/genetics having a huge influence on people.

Except for the cover there were no photos in the Kindle eBook edition so I went looking for some and some more perspectives.

https://nypost.com/2022/08/13/my-dad-is-sperm-donor-150-what-its-like-meeting-yo...

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2011/may/21/sperm-donor-joellen-marsh-f...

https://wamu.org/story/22/07/14/this-authors-normal-family-includes-a-sperm-dono...

and I guess there is a related film

https://www.pbs.org/independentlens/documentaries/donor-unknown/

I wasn’t really in the mood to read this book but it was a page-turner for me and got me past over a month of not reading books. I delighted in reading even though for me it was a painful read and I’m not sure how “great” it was. It worked for me though. Knowing or knowing of a lot the places in Los Angeles mentioned probably increased my enjoyment as did identifying just a bit with some of the author’s experiences.

Even though I found it to be a painful read I did enjoy it very much.

I wonder if the hardcover/paper edition has photos. This is the sort of book where I want to see lots of photographs! I was disappointed that there weren’t any.… (mehr)

Chrysta is the oldest daughter of Debra, a sometimes-closeted lesbian who desperately wanted children, and Jeffrey, a man Debra met and convinced to be a sperm donor who occasionally shared in his children's lives.

Though much is made in the marketing of this book of that last piece of the subtitle, "my 35 siblings," the bulk of the book is not about that at all. It's about Chrysta's growing up in a unique situation, about her relationships with her mother, her father, and her full sister Kaitlyn. Her childhood was largely difficult and dysfunctional, and Chrysta could've made either or both of her parents the villain of the story, but she tells all of their stories with compassion and understanding. This memoir is absolutely wild, and I won't say too much about it because learning it as Chrysta reveals it is the best way to take it in. What a life she had, and what a strong woman she's become by the end.… (mehr)