Kate Bolick

I have to say, it is a relief to read about a woman who is struggling with her desire to be single as opposed to the struggle of finding and keeping a partner. This isn't about how the writer can't find a husband or about how desirable she is or isn't. It's about her identifying and introducing us to the "Spinster"- a single unmarried woman past a certain age (my definition). Along the way Kate Bolick introduces us to other single writers she finds along her journey. Without her mother to share her struggle with, she finds a conversation with these writers/women. Some I was introduced to for the first time.

I really enjoyed this book. It's great if you are not already knowledgeable of the many great female writers out there. A good stepping stone to new voices! I also appreciated Kate's journe, because I myself am currently in the category of "Spinster", or, preferably, a term I loved that Kate uses: "ambiguous woman" (the scholar Carolyn Heilbrun's wonderful term for those who choose not to center their lives around a man).… (mehr)

I was intrigued by the idea of a book about a woman, similar to my age, who has embraced 'spinster' hood and I loved Kate Bolick's telling of her experiences and thoughts about what it means to take on such a label. What I found sometimes laborious to get through was her extensive research and telling of the women in history who she was inspired and fascinated with. Although interesting, I found myself drifting from the stories of these women because the detail was so rich. In that respect, her writing is rich, eloquent and intelligent and I think it's an original and wonderful book.… (mehr)

Ugh, I loved this!! I listened to the audiobook in one day at 2x speed. Bolick does a great job of reading her own work. I was looking for books similar to Deborah Levy's Real Estate and recommended Spinster by StoryGraph. They're different in style and format, but they're both about women navigating and enjoying their independence in a society that likes to remind them they should be prioritizing romantic love, relationships, and marriage.

Bolick does this by exploring the lives of five "spinster" writers who awakened a sort of self-understanding for her. I'd only ever heard of Edith Wharton, but I'm excited to check out the others. In memoir, I really appreciate it when the author takes time to educate you about history while also entertaining you with stories of their own life. And Bolick does this expertly. She does a deep dive on the five writers and the history of spinsterhood while also taking us through the ups and downs of her 20s and 30s. The story of her mother made me cry, the tales of her dating life in NYC made me laugh, and all of her career/love angst was incredibly relatable.

Her "awakenings" also gave me language for what I've been seeking out lately. I recently asked a librarian to recommend fiction books about competent, confident older women who were dealing with issues unrelated to romance and marriage. She managed it, but said it was "very tricky." There's a dearth of this lit or it doesn't get hyped. But, now I know what to call it: spinster lit. Bolick relied on her five chosen writers, in part because she could no longer turn to her mother for advice after her passing. And now, a year after my father's passing, I can see that I've been doing much the same in seeking out books, both fiction and non-fiction, about people older and a little wiser than me.

Like Bolick says early on in this one, sometimes the right book finds you at the right time. And this was one for me. I borrowed it on whim from the library and I'm excited to purchase a copy for my shelves so I can read it again more closely.… (mehr)