Alan Downs
Autor von The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World
Über den Autor
Alan Downs, Ph.D., is a psychologist and the author of four previous titles on psychology and business. He has a private therapy and consulting practice in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
Werke von Alan Downs
The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World (2005) 465 Exemplare
The Half-Empty Heart: A Supportive Guide to Breaking Free from Chronic Discontent (2003) 33 Exemplare
Beyond the Looking Glass: Overcoming the Seductive Culture of Corporate Narcissism (1997) 13 Exemplare
Secrets of an Executive Management Consultant: Proven Methods for Helping Leaders Excel under Pressure (2002) 12 Exemplare
Why Does This Keep Happening To Me?: The Seven Crisis We All Experience and How to Overcome Them (2002) 8 Exemplare
Corporate Executions: The Ugly Truth About Layoffs -- How Corporate Greed Is Shattering Our Lives, Companies, and… (1995) 7 Exemplare
American Alm Yrbk Encyc & Atlas 04 1 Exemplar
Os Sete Milagres da Administração 1 Exemplar
Getagged
Wissenswertes
- Geburtstag
- c. 1950
- Geschlecht
- male
- Nationalität
- USA
- Ausbildung
- University of Nebraska (Ph.D.|Psychology, 1989)
- Berufe
- clinical psychologist
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Statistikseite
- Werke
- 12
- Mitglieder
- 558
- Bewertung
- 3.6
- Rezensionen
- 13
- ISBNs
- 28
- Sprachen
- 2
When I arrived in NYC in the fall of 1980, promiscuity was the norm and rampant -- That's how I was introduced to gay life. I was relatively innocent and inexperienced; at first I was frightened by the gay bars. I was in over my head and I found many aspects of the cruising / pick up scenes to be overwhelming. The AIDS crisis arrived shortly thereafter, which in my case, amounted to living life in a state of fear. As a person who's sought out "harm reduction" by means of therapy, group therapy and 12 Step groups over the years -- I recognize that much of what Alan Downs, PhD recommends within this tome is derived from the 12 Step method. Mainly the idea of acceptance and how acceptance, when used as a tool, can change one's life; or from a Buddhist perspective -- Seeking "detachment"; learning to let go. "The Velvet Rage" also deconstructs the profound effect of shame, and how by refusing to let go of shame -- One ends up being inauthentic. Many of the gay men described in this book also suffer from a problem that I can relate to; one that causes tremendous existential angst-- That being the "inability to discern between, love, sex and affection".
A major weakness of this book, that has been commented on extensively in other reviews, is its tendency to focus on a particular type of gay man -- The capable, confident, fast lane, fast track to success kind of guy who jumps form one city, and or apartment, to the next; the "glistening" phony who'll hang on your every word -- Just to drop you like a hot potato. Although I've observed many of these types of men from afar, the queer men I've known have never been as driven or privileged as those described in this work. Thus at certain times while reading this text and searching for the common ground / attempting to empathize -- I couldn't help feeling like an "outsider among outsiders".
It's unfortunate that gay men can be cruel to one another; omnipresent rainbow flags notwithstanding, this lack of mutual empathy among queer men is the downside of the "rapier wit" that Dr. Downs references in this book. Sex for its own sake (more likely for "men of a certain age" like myself) often becomes more trouble than it's worth. Ultimately, after reading this text, I'm faced once again with the same questions that I encounter when seeking whatever method of "self-improvement": Does a gray area between "fast track party animal" and "morally superior reformed sinner" actually exist? How does one find "contentment" without turning into a veritable saint? ..... I'm still not sure.… (mehr)