Clara Claiborne Park (1923–2010)

Reading Exiting Nirvana by Clara Park was like catching up with an old friend. I had recommended The Siege to a friend with an autistic child. He looked into it and found the new book. I found it a description of it online along with a few reproductions of paintings done by Clara Park's daughter, now in her forties.

I read the Siege over thirty years ago, when it was thought - and I didn't disagree - that autism, like other childhood mental illness was a result of family disturbance. In the case of autism the parents were referred to as refridgerator parents, supposedly very intelligence, but cold, resulting in children unable to relate to other human beings. Reading, the Siege, I was impressed by Clara Park. Whether or not she had anything to do with her child's difficulties, I felt, she certainly did everything in her power to break through the girl's isolation. Now it reminds me of what a friend told me of the difference between how Japanese families and American families think about child raising. We (Americans) tend to think of children as being dependent and our job as raising them to be independent. But the Japanese regard children as being outside of society and the family and the act of parenting is to bring them into the family and into society.

Ellie, as she was called in the Siege, sometimes seemed to be a fairy child, untouched by the family in which she lived. And her mother fought to make contact and bring her into the family. I was left with a deep feeling of respect for this woman. Now in Exiting Nirvana I was back with Ellie, now called by her actual name of Jessy Park. This is a very unromanticized portrayal of what Jessy has been able to accomplish and the differences and limitation that still exist. This includes some impressive artwork that is at the same time precise and illuminated with color. Clara Park doesn't give short shrift to the common, everyday things like learning to be polite, and what it really consists of in being able to imagine yourself in the position of the other.

The thinking about the origin of Autism has changed drastically. It is now thought to be a neurological condition, rather than emotional pathology. I can't help but think, that Clara Park, writing as a parent determined to do the best she could for her daughter, rather than a clinician, deserves a lot of credit for that change. She had little to guide her when she began working with her daughter, and she left a work that was not only a practical guide to parents, but also would help them through the guilt and isolation of being blamed for their child's difficulties.… (mehr)