Randy Powell

I remember being intrigued by this book when I was maybe eleven or something, because there was a beautiful girl on the cover who was maybe sixteen, set beneath peach tones. It was too pretty a cover for the story underneath, and the edition I read as an adult was on a white background with loud font and a pair of oversized, made-up lips. This is a book from the POV of an immature, entitled eighteen-year-old who can't read social cues and makes strange decisions in accordance to the cues he can't read. The first chapter of the book is dedicated to his stalking of a girl he's had a crush on for nearly two years, Tommie. I looked up the name and it's an Aramaic word for "twin," when it's a girl's name. Tommie is not mentioned to have a twin, in the book, so the naming convention comes off as a little odd. The book does mention Biff's name and tries to be all cute, and the same with Heidi's. It's not cute; it's just boring. Biff makes up a poem with backwards letters about Tommie, and it's barf-worthy. Apologies to poets who use that device more successfully, if that is a technique used in poetry circles.

Nothing about Heidi is wild. She's just annoying. Aside from his crush on Tommie, about which he has done nothing for two years--he has barely even spoken to her but stalks her plenty--he is obsessed with a hike he plans to take so he can think about her some more. He doesn't go on the hike and dude, you think about her all the time. You don't need to traipse into the wilderness alone to do it, and this is even noted in the book! Plot contrivance leads him to meet Heidi. I mean, COME ON. Had this been a better book, I would not see it as plot contrivance. This is not that. Biff hasn't done anything about his crush on Tommie due to severe shyness and lack of social skills. This wouldn't bother me so much if it weren't paired with stalking behavior, with him planning to do more. He is so creepy. And Heidi gets in on it! They're both disgusting. Stalking is not cute. It is not a joke.

This book takes place in Washington State, and the author of this book is one of the ones who has to splash the names of every Seattle neighborhood that exists onto the pages, with multiple ones in each paragraph. He changes it up by heaving names of towns in Eastern Washington over a few pages. Heidi is from Spokane, which in the 90s was a small town without meth problems. Now, it is still a small town, and it has meth problems. Circling back to the topic of Seattle neighborhoods, the cafe mentioned on page 55 of the edition I read, is real. I live near it. The omlette they're talking about is made with a dozen eggs. People take home leftovers that last them a week. It's nice that the book takes place in Washington State; it's not frequent that books are. I'll have to find more. There is no mention of grunge, Seattle 90s fashion, or societal events that informed the 90s. How lackluster. Biff's best friend, Ray Hu, is mentioned constantly by full name. Why? To...show he's of East Asian descent? Why would you refer to your own best friend by full name? The author is--why? Readers never meet Ray Hu and nothing else is mentioned about him, just his name. No memories of friendship, no plans to meet Heidi, no mention of what Ray thinks of Tommie, or whether he gets alone with Biff's sister. Nothing..

When Biff's sister mouths "it's a girl" before handing Biff the phone, the way her actions are described made me think she was pushing her lips out from her face as much as possible like an angry chimpanzee. This author makes strange writing choices. Biff briefly thinks of driving the car into the lake since Heidi keeps smoking in it. RUN, HEIDI, RUN. THIS GUY IS A FUCKING WEIRDO WITH A SHORT FUSE. He okay with their deaths because she's -smoking-. Because his lack of social skills cannot ask her to open the window wider, or to tell her to put the cigarette out and go for twenty minutes without smoking, which she has demonstrated she can do. WHAT AN ASSHOLE. MURDEROUS PERSON. The story takes place over three or four days and it's annoying. Lynn is a drunk, and a creepy uncle towards Heidi. Biff's sister, Willa, is willing to have Heidi move in after Biff has known her two days, and Willa has never met her. WHAT? Also, uh, I think I found out where some of Biff's behaviors and views come from. UGH.

Biff looks and acts fourteen, or much younger at times. Why did the author choose to make him eighteen? All I can think of would be that it's so he can buy Heidi cigarettes that one time. She is fifteen. Biff is barely able to tell Tomasa he likes her at the end of the book, and then he kisses Heidi, ostenstibly goodbye. What a weird and boring choice and book! The characters are so flat and stale, and I hated this book. I have no idea what the author was going for. I fell asleep for a few hours reading this, and was cranky until I read a much better book a few hours later. At least this was a quick read, but ugh and ew.… (mehr)