James T. Webb

This is an excellent, thorough resource that provides both an overview of the life course of a gifted child and details on key areas of development. Certainly anyone who was labeled as "gifted" in the 80s or 90s will recognize themselves in this book! The exploration of the emotional life of gifted children was particularly helpful, as we are already seeing the emergence of a running internal commentary in our 4 year old. The authors also do a good job of emphasizing not getting hung up the label but approaching all of this information from the perspective of helping your child be comfortable with who they are, get what they need to thrive at home and in school, and develop resilience in the face of being different from others their age in various ways.… (mehr)

In chapter 6, Webb has a collection of exercises to help the reader get to know herself better. One of these is called "role stripping." The idea is to identify and rank your five most central roles, then, going from least central to most, imagine stripping the roles away one by one, asking after each role falls away who you are and what your life is like without that role.

The evening after I'd read this chapter---but not done the exercises---I dreamed that I was cleaning an empty house. I carried the vacuum from room to room, sweeping the floors and sucking the cobwebs from where the ceiling and walls met, all the while terrified of looking behind me, sure that although I was alone, I would see someone behind me and that someone would not be friendly. I thought, "You know, I probably don't need to clean the basement," and I could almost hear the presence laughing malevolently at my growing terror.

So, I think that without even doing the exercise, I've got a bit of insight at least into how I feel about confronting myself sans roles.

Nightmares aside, this was a decent book. It didn't blow my mind or anything, but I have been wondering for the past couple of years what good it does me as an adult to have been labeled "gifted" as a child, and Webb's book does help me to better understand the full scope of giftedness (often obscured by misunderstanding and the unfortunate word choice---"gifted." Sure, some gift) and how that influences how I see the world and interact with others.

It's a little light on practical suggestions (Meditate. Journal. Exercise. Drink in moderation. Why didn't I think of that?) and relies rather more heavily on "positive psychology" than I'd prefer. (The quotation marks are meant to indicate not snark but skepticism about the discipline and the way it's often used to try to shut down (and shut up) people with dispositional depression.) But then, it is a "self-help" book (those are snark quotes), and backing positive psychology seems to be part of the rubric for that genre.

Now that I'm done reading the book, I'm going to risk the bad dreams and go through some of the exercises and see where that gets me (with the exception of the coat of arms because I'm no longer in third grade).… (mehr)

Included at the beginning are examples of problems, such as: "My job evaluation says I am too impatient with others..."; "My spouse says that I am too involved in too many things to the neglect of the family. We're wondering if I have a manic depressive disorder."

The authors acknowledge that gifted adults and children are not immune from emotional or behavioral problems, but caution that supposed problems need to be evaluated in the family and social context, and considered as potential "outgrowths of unusually high intellect or creativity."

Specific examples of potential disorders and disabilities are discussed in ways that can help adults, parents and therapists better understand and help without needlessly pathologizing gifted traits.

Many people do need and benefit from mental health intervention, but being incorrectly diagnosed as having behavioral, emotional, or mental disorders can lead to exceptional people losing faith in their abilities, and being treated with inappropriate or even destructive medication and therapy, and can prevent the full expression of their talents - gifts our world needs more than ever.… (mehr)