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Does anyone else have this struggle? Or is anyone blissfully creating without this worry? How do you integrate?
It is sort of the same serious/fun loving dichtomy. I feel I either swing one way (completely serious) or the other (party fever) but have a hard time staying in the middle.
I know what you mean, about the serious/fun dichotomy. Maybe it's a function of intensity.
I have also had the question re the influence of others. It's our nature to see what others don't and we have to learn the confidence to trust that and forge ahead. On the other hand, extreme independence can hurt you: others can have valuable insight if we stop to listen. But how do you know which is which? I guess you have to learn to trust yourself to make that decision, too.
In the past fifteen years or so I have often wondered if, as a result of studying math and logic (requirements for a degree in computer science) I have suppressed or erased the ability to be creative outside of the context of writing code.
Trying to come up with something new or fanciful - writing, drawing, what have you - always seems negative somehow, childish, unworthy of spending time on.
I have not tried to write poetry or fiction in many years but if I can get the rational and logical side out of the way for a time I express that creative urge by writing on my website, with varying degrees of success.
And I'm ok with that. :)
Although I have creative ideas for novels, and characters form themselves in my mind, and i even get real visceral feelings about how the characters think and understand their world, the actual process of creating feels too worldly, like I would need to step through into another dimension to accomplish it.
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