what does not work?

People respond differently to different spiritual practices. What does NOT work for you?

Personally, liturgical dance drives me crazy.

Big Pagan holiday 2+ hour rituals with 50 - 200 people standing in a circle do not work for me.

You reminded me, Morphidae, it does not work for me to go to a traditional Protestant church, with a large congregation, and go through a typical "Order of Worship". I find it boring in the extreme and have to fight to not fall to sleep, have my mind wander to parts never-before-visited, or just get angry and time wasted feeling.

>3 maggie1944: There were two support rods that ran across the church high over the heads of the congregation in the church I grew up in. I was generally so bored by the same thing repeated every Sunday that I spent most of the time fantasizing about being a trapeze artist swinging from those rods and astounding our church members.

Funny, I grew up being bored to death by services, except that our church had a great organ, and it got me into Emerson, Lake and Palmer, and later into classical music.

But then I become a pastor, and led services for years. I tried not to make them boring, but at the same time, not make them a three ring circus. (I am NOT into litugical dance or clowns!) I think I did an ok job at it.

Now I find those services bore me again. The sermons are not worth listening to in most cases, and the music is abysmal.

Quaker silence...if you cannot improve upon it, don't break it.

Wow, we had a great old German pipe organ that was endlessly fascinating to me. (We were Lutherans) Lots of hand painted flowers and mysterious pedals and stops. It was old and constantly breaking, mostly due to moisture problems. This was pre-central air. They had oil heat in the winter that they only ran on Sundays and open windows in the summer. As you can imagine that played havoc with the organ. They finally got rid of it around 1970 in favor of an electric Wurlitzer which was just blah. After thinking about it this was about the same time I really lost interest. It was a really cool organ, especially at Christmas.

I love the music at our church. There is someone and something different every week. One week it will be classical piano pieces by Bach, another week it will two guitars playing jazz or bluegrass, another week it will be a choir singing hymns, the next a brass quartet playing "What a Wonderful World." We've had harpists and fiddlers, too.

What works for me: Music. All kinds. Organs, guitars, drums (with and without dancing), whistles, flutes, choirs, orchestras, quartets, .... I think you know what I mean.

What doesn't work for me?
Evangelical church services, whether happy-clappy, earnestly biblical, or led by electrified worship ministers. Traditional Catholic Low Mass said inaudibly in Latin.
Group prayer in which one of my companions utters the single word "Jesus" in an urgent whisper at least twice. Chanting anything I don't actually understand (whether Sanskrit or Sino-Japanese).
Taize-style worship led by a megalomaniac with a piano and no concept of what silence is.

Dianic services (circles where they just worship the Goddess, completely ignoring the God) always rub me the wrong way. The last time I got roped into one of these, I had my 8-month-old son with me. He eventually broke free of my grasp, upended a small section of altar and probably would have face-planted in the bon fire if I didn't grab his overalls in time. As I said to the other women in the group "When you leave out the male deities, they have their way of making their presence known." But then, I left Christianity greatly because they left out the female-I like a good balance.

I really dislike being one of several hundred, which is why megachurches baffle me. I do like a good sermon. Often, when I'm visiting another church, I'm one of the ones listening closest to what's being said-but then, it's still all new to me; I haven't heard that sermon before.

Insence. My mom swears this is the real reason I left the Catholic church. But the Pagans can use too much, too. Too much sage in an emclose place is awful.

Any form of ecstatic speech or action-it kinda weirds me out.

Altar calls-but that depends on the kind of service. I'm still mad at the pastor who did an altar call at my BIL's funeral (not at the request of the family).

Special tools. Some groups of Pagans think it's vital to have a special set of tools, robes, etc for their spellwork. If it helps get them in the right mindset, that's great. It turns me off, though. I like to have a deeper connection to my gear, so if I don't use it normally, I won't use it in a ritual. Same goes for language-I don't use old alphabets to write up rituals.

Empty headedness.

Trivialized emotions.

Denial of solemnity.

Sanctimoniousness.

Animal sacrifice.

There's a start on things that don't work for me. I went to a Unitarian Universalist service this morning pretty much devoid of content with lots of ha ha; it saddened me and made me wish I had instead gone to a twelve steps meeting.

Robert

#11 That's interesting. One of the big reasons that hubby and I like the UU church we go to is because there is so much laughter. For me, joy is a vital part of my spirituality.

It's funny, I find the AA meetings in my part of the universe can be pretty devoid of content and filled with lots of ha ha ha, too. But I will say I don't like "church services" where everyone is "hale fellow, well met" with false feeling welcomes to each and every person who walks in the door. I like things to be a bit quiet and contemplative.

#10 I really get annoyed with what I think of as "materialistic pagans" too. Why do you have to have a special athame and this cup and that whatever? Spellwork is about intent. The trappings shouldn't matter. Who is teaching these people, anyway?

Especially if they feel like they have to put their special tool through some long involved "purification ritual" if someone else looks or breathes on it. I mean, jeeze, if your spirituality is that fragile, maybe you need to find some new techniques.

Anyhoo, sorry to get off on a rant, I just get annoyed with people who just. don't. get. it.

(btw, this is not to say that certain items don't carry some gnarly energy. Still, you shouldn't need to use them. The magic is in you, or should be.)

Hmm, my UUs tend to get into seriously heavy topics for their services, after the children have all gone out to RE. Though they do insert a bit of humor it's of the wry variety. I suppose the missing U is for Unique because every congregation is different in their approach.