I like this rating system by ashleytylerjohn of LibraryThing (https://www.librarything.com/profile/ashleytylerjohn) that I have also adopted:
(Note: 5 stars = rare and amazing, 4 = quite good book, 3 = a decent read, 2 = disappointing, 1 = awful, just awful.) ( )

Jean Vanier wrote this book to reflect on what creating communities for people with intellectual disabilities taught him about being human. My goodness, did he learn a lot. This is a small book packed with a lot of insight. I've got dog-eared pages and underlines all over it.

He is a priest, so there is a distinct religious flavour to his perspective. I appreciate his efforts towards being ecumenical (plenty of acknowledgement of the positive contributions of other religious traditions and not a hint of any requirement for any person to be Christian to be good or earn salvation), but of course, he is Christian, and it shows.

His perspective is deeply intersectional, concerned with the equality in worth and value of all people and all groups of people. Considering he wrote the book 20 years ago, and from a tradition not notably concerned with questions of identity, power, conflict, oppression, etc., that's pretty impressive (to me, at any rate). His perspective on forgiveness is also refreshing, particularly considering that our culture (and certain strains of Christianity) consider forgiveness, these days, to be a moral requirement--almost as if it is more important from an ethical perspective for the victimized to forgive than it is for the perpetrator not to hurt. There is none of that here.

If there is one flaw in the book, it is in some of his discussion of the role of the people he served in the epiphanies that led to this philosophy. It's wonderful if, in interacting with people you consider the Other, you learn important truths about yourself and humanity, but that doesn't mean that's why those people are there. People with intellectual disabilities do not exist to give the rest of us epiphanies and insights. They exist to live their lives, just like everyone else. The extent to which a person with disabilities is considered to be "inspiring" just by going about their daily business is usually an indication of the extent to which people with disabilities are considered to be people with lives not worth living. In a society that assumes people with disabilities are people first with the same capacity for joy, pain, work, recreation, pleasure, giving and receiving as anyone else, people with disabilities wouldn't be inspiring, and we wouldn't have epiphanies and insights from interacting with them.

So to the extent that Vanier learned important insights and had epiphanies from his work with people with intellectual disabilities, it is a measure of his flaws before he began the work, not his extreme virtue or wisdom.

Stella Young put it a lot better than I could, so if you haven't seen her TED talk, go watch it.

https://www.ted.com/talks/stella_young_i_m_not_your_inspiration_thank_you_very_m...

Also, there is at times a quite typical belief that anger and hate are always and forever Bad Feelings, and if you have them, there is something that needs to be fixed. This is nonsense; no feeling that serves no purpose or is only destructive would have evolved, so there must be times when both anger and hate serve a purpose and are healthy.

That said, he has a number of wonderful things to say about people and about human nature that make the book well worth reading. I would be a better person and ours would be a better world if it were (with minor caveats) put into practice. ( )

This is a brilliant insight into humanity ( )

This little book was filled to overflowing. Most of Vanier's books appear so simple, but when the cover is cracked there is so much insight and learning. So much of what he writes seems obvious that I wonder why I couldn't see it without being told. His words are simple and profound.

What is it like to be human? What is it like to live in community? What is it like to be valued and loved? How do we come to experience all these things and be a part of others also experiencing the same. These are some of the simpler explorations we make with Vanier. It is an excellent read for anyone who cares about anyone else, or who would like to care. ( )

Outstanding book by a Godly man. Life lessons in this book that are priceless. ( )