"The first time I had a close encounter with the Australian Defence Force was when the minister was asked to address the Australian Defence Force Academy, which is sort of a finishing school for the Elite Australian officer class ...
To say I was surprised by the experience is an understatement. As we went to the commanding officer's rooms, it was as if I had stepped back in time to the Edwardian tearoom described in one of my borrowed etiquette books. A silver teapot so polished it caught the light. Fine porcelain teacups. A seat pulled out for me, and pushed in behind. An air of respectful, indeed graceful, charm. I felt myself sitting a little taller, as if the elegant deportment of the officers were infectious. I felt myself pulling my feet under the chair, to hide my scuffed pumps. I wished I had smoother hair. But the courtesies were so refined that I quickly forgot my own inadequacies. The tea was excellent; the conversation stimulating; under such tender ministrations, I was charming, too. Like the minister, I came to realize that there were few things more enjoyable than afternoon tea with trained killers.
I also came to realize that the elaborate and indeed old fashioned manners of the officer class serve a very important purpose. They are part of the overall code of self-discipline and regimentation that is essential to the effective running of any military. It is part of a code of behavior wisely imposed on them to stop them turning their guns upon each other or mounting a coup. But it is more than this. ...
We delegate to our military very extraordinary powers. We ask them to make wise judgments that will ensure our safety and preserve our national honor. That's why every day in a democracy the officer class needs to prove to itself and to the wider community not only that its soldiers are fighting for civilization - but more than this, that they, too, are part of the civilization they are fighting for. Their fine manners are a way to demonstrate that they are worthy of this trust.
Of course, fine manners do not automatically lead to goodness. The Nazis were particularly popular with elements of the English aristocracy because their military leaders had superlative manners. Manners are no guarantee against barbarism.
But they do prove that the officer class understands the standard of civilization expected of it by society. If it fails against that standard, then it can be held knowingly accountable.
We give our military so much freedom because we ask and trust them to delimit their actions. Manners are both an instrument to achieve, and evidence of, their self-control.

pp. 74-76