I finished this way back in July 2023 and should have reviewed it closer to that time. I've forgotten a lot of the details of the plot of this book, but basically seventeen-year-old Therese ends up in a coma after the car accident that kills both her parents. While in her coma, she meets the sons of Hades, Hypnos and Thanatos, and kisses Thanatos in what she thinks is just a dream. Than, of course, falls in love with her and makes a deal with his father to go find her and try to win her heart. Meanwhile, Than's sisters investigate Therese's parents' death, which was not just an accident.

I met Eva Pohler at a past Book Bonanza and thought her books sounded appealing enough that I bought four of them - a set of the first three books in this series, and one of the books in Pohler's Mystery House series for adults. It's probably a good thing I read the Mystery House book before this one, because that was definitely the stronger work. This book, unfortunately, wasn't good at all, and now I'm bummed that I bought it as part of a set.

Therese was supposed to be seventeen but generally came across to me is being about twelve or thirteen years old. It was tough to believe that a god would ever fall for her. The romantic aspects were cringe-worthy at the best of times, and there were some unintentionally hilarious moments, like the time Therese noted one character's bowl-cut while admiring how gorgeous he was.

I don't like offloading books unread, especially ones I bought brand new, but I may end up doing just that with the next two books in this series. It's possible the series might improve, but the thought of continuing on isn't appealing.

(Original review posted on A Library Girl's Familiar Diversions.) ( )

Can we please stop with the trope of an immortal being falling in love with a teenager. It's creepy... she's 17. Thantos is millenia. ( )

After he makes a deal with Hades for a chance to live as a mortal in the Underworld, Thanatos falls in love for the very first time. The problem is she's a mortal, and he's well, Death.

The deal requires Therese to avenge the death of her parents. With the help of Than’s fierce and exotic sisters, the Furies, she finds herself in an arena face to face with the murderer, and only one will survive.

Mann, ich weiß gar nicht, wo ich mit der Kritik anfangen soll.

Ich fange einfach mal bei Superthan an. Er kann echt alles. Wo ich es noch halbwegs verstehe dass er als Tod in Sekundenschnelle durch die Welt reisen, jede Sprache, sogar die von Tieren sprechen, und unsichtbar werden kann, verstehe ich einiges absolut nicht. Warum muss er superschnell schwimmen können? Warum muss er tolle Bauchmuskeln haben ohne zu trainieren? Warum kann er in Frankreich ohne Probleme ein vegetarisches mehrere Gänge-Menü auftreiben? Jedes mal wenn Than wieder perfekt war wurde es lächerlicher. Es gab wirklich nichts, was er nicht konnte. Nennt eine Superkraft, er hat sie.

Mary-Therese ist genauso schrecklich. Sie ist die beste Schwimmerin im Team, sie ist die beste Flötistin in der Band (obwohl sie niemals übt), sie ist die beste luzide Träumerin, die Hypnos jemals gesehen hat, sie ist der Liebling aller Götter ohne es auch nur zu versuchen, Tiere lieben sie auf Anhieb und sie ist der beste Pferdebürster der Welt. Sie lebt in einer Hütte im Wald und kennt jedes Tier und jeden Baum beim Vornamen.

Der Schreibstil. Oh boy. Nuja. Bis auf die ständigen unpassenden Fremdwörter war er wenigstens einfach zu lesen. Aber immerhin habe ich was gelernt mit den neuen Wörtern. Ansonsten ist er wohl so ziemlich in die Tonne zu kloppen.

Es war, als hätte eine 12-jährige ihre Fantasien aufgeschrieben. Noch zu prüde und unbereit, um wirklich über S.E.X zu schreiben lässt sie immer mindestens eine Bettdecke zwischen den beiden Charakteren. Dafür wird aber Therese Hund von Artemis Unsterblichkeit verliehen. Und sie bekommt von ihr ein Gänsefederkopfkissen. Und eine Unsichtbarkeitskrone. Und von Poseidon einen Ritt auf Delfinen und sein Zimmer im Olymp. Von Zeus einen auf Pegasus. Von Athena bekommt sie einen Reiseumhang, einen Anhänger, und… ach, eigentlich wäre es einfacher, aufzuzählen, was Therese alles nicht von Göttern geschenkt bekommen hat. Achso, und ihre kleinen Brüste findet Hypnos viel besser als große. Außerdem darf sie, sollte sie in die Unterwelt ziehen, ihre Haustiere mitbringen, auch wenn das vor ihr noch nie jemand getan hat.

Die Story über die Mördersuche an ihren Eltern konnte man auch nicht mitfiebern, weil es dann letztendlich irgendein Typ aus einem anderen Land war, von denen weder Therese noch der Leser je gehört haben.

Dafür haben sowohl Than als auch Therese mindestens 50 Duschen in dem Buch genommen. Dafür, dass man von Therese so viel von ihrer Morgen- und Abendroutine mitbekommen hat wurde erstaunlich wenig über Zähne putzen und kämmen geredet. Nämlich gar nicht. Therese steht auf, packt sich Lipgloss auf die Lippen, und ist perfekt.

Der Rest des Buches ging um Tierpflege. Es waren bestimmt 100 Seiten (MIN-DES-TENS) nur übers Pferde bürsten, wie sie ihren Hamster und ihre Schildkröte füttert und ihr Hund mit seinem Stummelschwanz wedelt.

Am Schluss kam dann tatsächlich ein bisschen Stimmung auf, die Autorin hat das aber gekonnt ganz schnell wieder abgewürgt. Aber dem Leser der bis hierher ausgehalten hat sei versichert, dass Therese dabei perfekt war.

Die ganze Mythologie war auch von vorne bis hinten falsch und ich kann mich nicht entscheiden, ob die Autorin das getan hat um das ganze zu vereinfachen, oder weil sie keinen Bock hatte das zu recherchieren.

Achso. Als Therese denkt, Than könnte eventuell die Beziehung beenden wollen geht sie zum nächst logischen über: Sie geht in ihr Haus, telefoniert mit einem Typen von dem sie weiß, dass er wegen einem Liebespfeil Hals über Kopf in sie verliebt ist, und datet ihn am selben Abend “um sich abzulenken.” Eine schreckliche Person.
( )

Actual Rating: 0

Okay, bear with me guys, this one is going to be a long one. First of all, I am so surprised that Eva Pohler is a writing and literature teacher at a university and not, as her writing shows, an immature twelve-year-old student.

Let me tell you, the writing in this is absolutely awful. From the very first page, I could tell that the author broke the rule of "show, don't tell". The car crash scene was already written TERRIBLY - it felt as though the author was trying to make it scary and heartbreaking, but her writing style was simply not up to par.

My least favorite part about this book was - well, everything - but my LEAST LEAST favorite part about this book was Therese.

I've already mentioned this in one of my status updates - as Therese's parents drown, memories suddenly invade her mind and she reminisces about deer. One, this broke the vibe of the crash that Pohler tried and failed to establish, and two, if your parents are dying in front of your very eyes, actually do something.

(Update: The author told me how it was meant to portray how Therese was overcome by memories in the moment and it seemed like everything was going in slow-motion. I haven’t experienced such a tragedy, and I guess I wasn’t able to tie in this feeling with the book at the time. I reread the scene and I still feel like it broke the vibe, but now I know the reason it was included.)

Next, Therese is a lucid dreamer.
I'm a lucid dreamer, and so I know what they feel like.
I did some research, and Eva Pohler used to be one too, meaning that she should be able to describe them in more vivid detail, and yet her descriptions of Therese's dreams are repetitive and juvenile.

Let's look at a few examples, shall we?
Therese willed his shirt off, and the shirt disappeared.
The boy laughed. "You have so much control. Very few people are lucid dreamerss, and I've never known anyone like you."

Oh yes, Therese. Aren't you just SO special?

Let's look at more examples!
She looked around the room. They were all zombies. That's when she knew she was dreaming.

She touched a front tooth with her finger, and the tooth fell out. Then she smiled. "This must be a dream."

One group of rocks resembled a giant hand, like that of a god. That triggered an idea in Therese's mind. I'm dreaming.

Noticing a pattern? I sure did. Every time I read another dream scene, I became more and more annoyed, because I knew that Pohler was going to have Therese realize the exact same way. And so, once, again, there was proof of the author's terrible writing.

Now, for the relationship between Than and Therese.
It was a case of insta-love, which I have never been a fan of.
The first time Therese hugs Than, he is already smitten - to the point where he begs his father, Hades, to allow him to become mortal to chase after the girl he's known only for a few seconds.

Now, I haven't read Twilight - but I've seen enough of it to know about that scene where Edward tells Bella she likes watching her sleep. And a scene in The Gatekeeper's Sons definitely reminded me of that. Let me explain. Than can turn himself invisible - and obviously, he takes advantage of this power. Blah blah blah, one day, Therese finds out exactly how, and this is how their conversation goes down.

"You were there? In my room?"
Than blushed. "Are you angry with me?"

Now, ladies, if you ever find out that someone has been sneaking into your room and spying on you, I hope you do the exact opposite of what Therese does and gives that creeper what they deserve.
This is what Therese says in response.
"I'm only angry that you didn't make yourself visible and kiss me, especially when you saw me crying."
"Yeah. It was hard not to take you in my arms."
"I'm angry you didn't."
"I'm sorry."

What the actual fuck? (Pardon my language) but this is a big NO-NO for me. There are SO many things wrong with situation - starting with Therese's attitude. Especially in this conversation, Therese is revealed to be weak and dependent on her lover - and in her eyes, Than's crime was not invading her privacy, but it was not being there for her when she needed him.

Keep in mind that he wasn't even SUPPOSED to be there.

Moving along with the relationship, Therese's attidude completely transforms into one that is unacceptable for a heroine. She transforms, to the point where she cannot LIVE without Than; she defines her own identity by him, and she begins to embrace death because it means becoming closer to him.
Then she said, "And if you leave me again, I swear I'll kill myself to be with you."

No. I just...no. This line set of all the warning signals in my brain - this relationship has gone from bad to worse to toxic. What is Pohler trying to tell her readers? That this is the definition of love? That love is the willingness to lose yourself to hold on to someone else?

I'm a romantic, but I have to say, that this is not the definition of love at all.
There are moments where people have to realize that loving yourself is important too - you have to be able to love yourself before you love someone else, and before you accept their love for you. Therese breaks all the rules here - she diminishes her own worth and sets Than high above everybody else, including herself.

That's not love, that's obsession.

Therese was just SUCH a Mary-Sue. She could do everything, and she had all the traits that made her perfect - everything about her was so perfect that even the gods fell in love with her.
To make it easier for you, I've compiled a list!
1. Therese loved animals and nature (which is why Artemis loved her)
2. Therese had a kind and giving heart (which appealed to Zeus)
3. Therese played the flute (Athena invented the flute, so she loved her)
4. Therese loved to swim (so Poseidon took mercy on her)
5. BASICALLY THERESE'S KIND AND MERCIFUL SOUL (Persephone, Hestia, Aphrodite, Demeter)

Therese's overperfection was just sickening.

She was perfect, and yet she was so wishy-washy and annoying that I wondered what Than even saw in her.

For the last part of my review I want to go back to Eva Pohler's writing style - the entire book was simply written badly, but there were a few instances where I really paused and had to put my phone down just to -

This one line in particular:
Then he covered her mouth with his and gave her a deep, lusty kiss.

Ugh.

And when she had the opportunity to write something like this:
They smiled softly and Therese felt her eyes trembling with the tears she had held back for so long. Her legs tangled together as she collapsed into their arms, desperate to hold them one last time.
Pohler wrote this instead:
They smiled and held out their arms. She ran to them and felt their warm embrace.

See the difference?

I have so much more to say but this review has gone on long enough and I know if I keep going it'll just be one loooooooong rant, so let me just end this on the worst line of their entire book.

"It's almost like you're voice is singing in place of the flute, or as if the flute were an extension of yourself."

Yes, the author committed a grave sin - she used the wrong "your" and that is completely unacceptable. Not to mention how bad this line already was.

So yeah, don't torture yourself by reading this book. ( )