Jenifer Ringer was one of my favorite dancers at NYCB until her recent retirement, so it’s no surprise that I loved her memoir. I thought it was also a powerful protrayal of having an eating disorder and recovery. And I liked reading about her partner James Fayette. ( )

Really between a 3 and a 4.

The behind-the-scenes details of Ringer's life as a New York City Ballet dancer are fascinating, but at times her account is frustratingly vague. This is most apparent when she discusses weight issues, which are obviously a tender subject for her (you may remember her as the dancer whom NYT critic Alistair Macauley said had "eaten a sugar plum too many" in her role as the Sugar Plum Fairy). Ringer, who did at one point have an eating disorder, says that Macauley was wrong about her weight (as he surely was) but doesn't really delve into the body image issues that must be rampant in dance companies. For example, she talks about being overweight due to her eating disorder, but never explains whether she was actually overweight or just overweight by ballet standards.

Ringer also has a tendency to lapse into religious language, which may resonate with some but to me felt mostly like a way to avoid examining her own psyche and emotions.

Still, if you want to know what the New York City Ballet is like when the dancers are off-stage, you should pick this up. ( )

Really between a 3 and a 4.

The behind-the-scenes details of Ringer's life as a New York City Ballet dancer are fascinating, but at times her account is frustratingly vague. This is most apparent when she discusses weight issues, which are obviously a tender subject for her (you may remember her as the dancer whom NYT critic Alistair Macauley said had "eaten a sugar plum too many" in her role as the Sugar Plum Fairy). Ringer, who did at one point have an eating disorder, says that Macauley was wrong about her weight (as he surely was) but doesn't really delve into the body image issues that must be rampant in dance companies. For example, she talks about being overweight due to her eating disorder, but never explains whether she was actually overweight or just overweight by ballet standards.

Ringer also has a tendency to lapse into religious language, which may resonate with some but to me felt mostly like a way to avoid examining her own psyche and emotions.

Still, if you want to know what the New York City Ballet is like when the dancers are off-stage, you should pick this up. ( )

This was a stretch for the third star but what the heck, I will be generous. There were parts of this book that were very good and parts that I just said what? The layout of the book is odd and mskes for disjointed storytelling. Also, while I have zero reason to doubt Ms. Ringer's faith, the constant references became tiresome and insincere. On that note I am pretty sure God has better things to do than cure a heel spur on this gal's foot. It seemed to me that she uses her faith as a crutch. For me it was a "he who protesth too much" sort of situation. That said , good story about the NYC Ballet. Didn't love it, didn't hate it. ( )

While reading Ringer's memoir, I found that it developed into a work I hadn't really expected, always a pleasant surprise. While she writes of devoting herself to her artform ballet, I think she really touches on several extra issues. After informing the reader of her background and how her love of ballet or dance developed, she explains in some fascinating detail what exactly is expected of a professional dancer; the workouts, the constant practice, learning the choreography, how she dresses and puts on her stage make-up, and how stressful it is to audition for a dance role. She stresses over and over again the need for perfection in dance steps, in dance interpretation, and in body image. Dancing is an extremely strenuous activity and one's body must be exercised and toned to meet a director's and an audience's expectations.

The first real issue Ringer has to deal with is her role of perfectionist. She finds that when one has been seen as being perfect for most of her life, when something gives in one's life, it can be an almost impossible task to bounce back. So in her striving for a perfect body weight for her dance, she develops anorexia and binge eating and it takes her a long time to come to terms with it.
Walking with her through the development of this state and the strength it takes to come back, makes one's heart ache. Especially, when the issue of whether or not she's too fat to dance appears in a NYT critic's review, and makes it way to Oprah's stage, and the nation's problems with body image in girls and women. Ringer attributes her success and determination were aided by family and friends, and a strong belief in God and prayer to navigate her life. She writes of coming out of her shell through Overeater's Anonymous, and taking a break from her dance career to sit back and reflect and re-prioritize her life.

All in all, an extremely interesting memoir, especially for anyone who wants a glimpse into what the dance world is really all about.

Check out these websites:
http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Backst...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/artic...

This memoir was sent to me through the Goodreads First Reader giveaway program. ( )