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How to Fight Presidents: Defending Yourself Against the Badasses Who Ran This Country

von Daniel O'Brien

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History. Politics. Nonfiction. Humor (Nonfiction.) HTML:Make no mistake: Our founding fathers were more bandanas-and-muscles than powdered-wigs-and-tea.
 
As a prisoner of war, Andrew Jackson walked several miles barefoot across state lines while suffering from smallpox and a serious head wound received when he refused to polish the boots of the soldiers who had taken him captive. He was thirteen years old. A few decades later, he became the first popularly elected president and served the nation, pausing briefly only to beat a would-be assassin with a cane to within an inch of his life. Theodore Roosevelt had asthma, was blind in one eye, survived multiple gunshot wounds, had only one regret (that there were no wars to fight under his presidency), and was the first U.S. president to win the Medal of Honor, which he did after he died. Faced with the choice, George Washington actually preferred the sound of bullets whizzing by his head in battle over the sound of silence.
 
And now these menâ??these hallowed leaders of the free worldâ??want to kick your ass.
 
Plenty of historians can tell you which president had the most effective economic strategies, and which president helped shape our current political parties, but can any of them tell you what to do if you encounter Chester A. Arthur in a bare-knuckled boxing fight? This book will teach you how to be better, stronger, faster, and more deadly than the most powerful (and craziest) men in history. Youâ??re
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This is funny but the concept gets a bit tired cause there's a lot of presidents (even if you skip all the ones still living who would likely sue for slander) and there's not a great deal of factual information presented. ( )
  fionaanne | Dec 28, 2023 |
Interesting, irreverent... and also sexist and fatphobic. An engaging read that both amused and pissed me off (you could have cut the entire chapter about Taft and I probably would have given it another star). Also, some of those stories I knew to be more myth than fact, which made me question the veracity of the whole book.

Though I can credit this book for bumping Garfield to maybe one of my favorite presidents now. ( )
  wisemetis | Sep 11, 2022 |
Total. boy. humour. And it's hilarious. Really silly and did I mention the boy humour? There's a lot of it.

At a guess I'd bet that maybe 60% of the information in each section covering each president (except those that are still alive - is that for legal reasons, do you think?) is probably factual. 20% is blatantly called out by the author himself as just wishful thinking, and the other 20% could go either way.

But I hope nobody thinks they're picking this up in order to expand their factual knowledge of presidential history. There's a lot of good stuff I didn't know before, but the focus is very narrow and aimed solely at making the presidents all look like bad asses. How to Fight Presidents is a fun, entertaining, wishful thinking sort of book that will accidentally import some small inconsequential facts into the reader's brainpan when they aren't paying attention; guaranteed to make them only slightly quirky at the next cocktail party, or the dark horse at their next trivia night. Or maybe just slightly better prepared should he or she accidentally find themselves in a dark alley with a sitting president-pretender. You never know I guess.

Book themes for Festivus: Read anything comedic; a parody, satire, etc. Books with hilariously dysfunctional families (must be funny dysfunctional, not tragic dysfunctional). Anything that makes you laugh (or hope it does). ( )
  murderbydeath | Jan 22, 2022 |
funny ( )
  mbeaty91 | Sep 9, 2020 |
Hands down one of my favorite comedy books ever. I'm not a fan of the genre but this was great! History majors everywhere will appreciate the historical accuracy and blunt badassery of our presidents. ( )
  BrainyHeroine | Mar 20, 2018 |
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History. Politics. Nonfiction. Humor (Nonfiction.) HTML:Make no mistake: Our founding fathers were more bandanas-and-muscles than powdered-wigs-and-tea.
 
As a prisoner of war, Andrew Jackson walked several miles barefoot across state lines while suffering from smallpox and a serious head wound received when he refused to polish the boots of the soldiers who had taken him captive. He was thirteen years old. A few decades later, he became the first popularly elected president and served the nation, pausing briefly only to beat a would-be assassin with a cane to within an inch of his life. Theodore Roosevelt had asthma, was blind in one eye, survived multiple gunshot wounds, had only one regret (that there were no wars to fight under his presidency), and was the first U.S. president to win the Medal of Honor, which he did after he died. Faced with the choice, George Washington actually preferred the sound of bullets whizzing by his head in battle over the sound of silence.
 
And now these menâ??these hallowed leaders of the free worldâ??want to kick your ass.
 
Plenty of historians can tell you which president had the most effective economic strategies, and which president helped shape our current political parties, but can any of them tell you what to do if you encounter Chester A. Arthur in a bare-knuckled boxing fight? This book will teach you how to be better, stronger, faster, and more deadly than the most powerful (and craziest) men in history. Youâ??re

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