Big Billy Brennan and his wife Tricia are devastated by the loss of their 17 year old son Michael who one night with no warning, cut down their clothesline and used it to end his life. They have spoken to his friends, heard the crazy rumors, but never found a reason that may have led Michael to suicide.
As Billy tries to come to terms with what has happened, to find a way to make Michael's life and death count for something, his family becomes more angry and embarrassed by it all, and by Billy himself and his crusade to lose weight to raise money for suicide awareness and prevention. This was an emotional read. Though at times the pace was a bit slow, I could not help but admire Billy, and his courage and determination to never give up even when his own family did not support his efforts.
I received an advance copy for review. ( )

One night while the family was sleeping Billy’s oldest son, Michael, walked out of the house and hung himself in a tree. His suicide took the family by complete surprise and seeing as how he didn’t leave a note, no one really knows why he did it. One thing Billy does know is that he doesn’t want Michael’s death to be for nothing. He is determined to bring attention to suicide in the hopes of preventing others from taking their own lives. He decided to accept pledges/donations to a charity for him to loose half his weight (he is truly obese), to create a walk in the town to bring awareness, and create a documentary to share the story of Michael and others affected by suicide. If Michael’s death can stop someone else from dying, then it will all be worth it. But what about the rest of the family…..is it worth it to them?

The idea behind this story is a good one. There are too many suicides in the world, especially teens. I love the fact that Billy takes this on as his new life mission, which helps him to heal as well, but I feel like the story is missing a lot that could have made it a better book. I think Michael’s character needed more development and back story and truly, so did the rest of the family. For example, Billy has a daughter that you know almost nothing about and therefore, I’m not even sure why she’s a character in the book at all. I also found the storyline to be quite slow. It took me longer than it should have to read this book simply because there was nothing drawing me back to pick it up and read more. I did feel for Billy though – he had a very tough time with Michael’s death and had to work through surviving it without any true help from his own family.
Thank you to Net Galley and St Martin’s Press for an advance copy of this book in return for an honest review. ( )

4.5 stars.

The Weight of Him by Ethel Rohan is a heartbreaking, poignant and uplifting novel of healing.

Following his oldest son Michael's inexplicable suicide, Billy Brennan wants to make his son's life and death matter. Billy's plan to raise money and public awareness about suicide is not well received by his family yet he does not let their lack of support stop him. Publicly vowing to lose 200 pounds, he puts up flyers and pledge sheets around town and embarks on his weight loss campaign. Despite a few initial setbacks, Billy comes up with a diet and exercise plan that he sometimes struggles to stick to but with his new friend Denis Morrissey's help, he begins shedding pounds. While his ambitious undertaking takes a toll on his relationship with his family, Billy remains fully committed to his cause. Will his efforts to raise money and public awareness for suicide prevention pay off? Can he meet his weight loss goal? Will Billy and his family heal from their terrible loss?

In the aftermath of Michael's suicide, Billy and his wife Tricia are both trying to understand why their son took his own life. Tricia just wants their life to return to some semblance of normal and she does not understand why Billy would do anything to bring more attention to their family. Their children are, of course, struggling just as much as Billy and Tricia. Fifteen year old John is angry and Billy is often a target of his furious outbursts. Twelve year old Anna tries to play peacemaker as her parents' relationship continues to deteriorate. Nine year old Ivor is a lot like his father and harboring numerous regrets over his self perceived failings, Billy tries to help his youngest son make healthier choices.

Billy's struggles with weight began during childhood and over the years, he has lost weight only to gain it back time and again. Having finally given up on diets a few years ago, his weight continues to climb as he binges on his favorite foods in secret. His relationship with food is complicated and at times, turning away from the comfort he derives from it is almost a herculean task for Billy. The passages that detail Billy's shame and low self-esteem from his excess weight are absolutely heartwrenching to read but they provide readers with a discerning glimpse into the struggles he is experiencing.

Equally devastating are effects that Michael's suicide have on Billy and his family. Everyone processes their grief differently but they are all grappling to understand why Michael took his own life. No one is able to pinpoint anything in his behavior that should have been a red flag which makes it very difficult for them to move forward in the grieving process. Trying to articulate their feelings for their loss is virtually impossible and Billy is helpless to bridge the growing distance between him and his family. Even more bewildering to him is their lack of understanding for his need to raise public awareness in an effort to prevent another family from losing a loved one to suicide.

The Weight of Him is an emotionally compelling novel that is fast paced and engaging. Ethel Rohan handles very difficult subject matter with sensitivity and provides readers with an insightful perspective about the importance of eliminating the social stigma that surrounds both suicide and obesity. An absolutely breathtaking journey of healing that is sad yet ends on a hopeful note. ( )

Hitting obesity depression and suicide ( )

3.5 Billy is a large man, over 400 pounds and also a very sad man. His family, three remaining children, his wife, is in tatters after the suicide of his eldest son, only 17. He can't help going over and over the things he did wrong, his son left no note, and no one noticed anything wrong, not friends, not family. Food has always been his comfort but he decides to make his son's suicide count for something, to make a difference in suicide prevention. So with virtually no family support Billy sets off on a quest, a goal.

One can't help but feel for Billy, his story, his efforts, but in this too lies the problem. The other characters are virtually lifeless, his daughter rarely mentioned, Billy is the story and for me it became repetitive. Looked forward to his interactions with his youngest son, who was the second most complete character, and these showed growth in the both of them, father and son. A second chance in a way. Don't get me wrong this is a good story, a heartfelt one, just wish it had been a little more widespread, included a wider view.

ARC from Netgalley. ( )