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Hourglass: Time, Memory, Marriage

von Dani Shapiro

MitgliederRezensionenBeliebtheitDurchschnittliche BewertungDiskussionen
2008134,738 (4.01)6
"The best-selling novelist and memoirist delivers her most intimate and powerful work: a piercing, life-affirming memoir about marriage and memory, about the frailty and elasticity of our most essential bonds, and about the accretion, over time, of both sorrow and love. Hourglass is an inquiry into how marriage is transformed by time--abraded, strengthened, shaped in miraculous and sometimes terrifying ways by accident and experience. With courage and relentless honesty, Dani Shapiro opens the door to her house, her marriage, and her heart, and invites us to witness her own marital reckoning--a reckoning in which she confronts both the life she dreamed of and the life she made, and struggles to reconcile the girl she was with the woman she has become. What are the forces that shape our most elemental bonds? How do we make lifelong commitments in the face of identities that are continuously shifting, and commit ourselves for all time when the self is so often in flux? What happens to love in the face of the unexpected, in the face of disappointment and compromise--how do we wrest beauty from imperfection, find grace in the ordinary, desire what we have rather than what we lack? Drawing on literature, poetry, philosophy, and theology, Shapiro writes gloriously of the joys and challenges of matrimonial life, in a luminous narrative that unfurls with urgent immediacy and sharp intelligence. Artful, intensely emotional work from one of our finest writers"--… (mehr)
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I liked this memoir, but it felt incomplete - maybe because I haven't read the author's other memoirs? I appreciated the contemplations on marriage and memory, especially since the author and her husband married a little later in life, after both had other relationships. The book jumped around a lot in terms of both time and topics. Sometimes this was nice, because it made the book easy to put down when I need to do something else, but I generally prefer books which pull me into some kind of story. An interesting read, and short, but not one I'd necessarily pick up again. ( )
  wagner.sarah35 | Apr 11, 2021 |
4.5 stars. Unexpected and so good. Something about the style really captures the feeling of aging and close relationships that I really identify with right now. ( )
  beautifulshell | Aug 27, 2020 |
Quick read of a memoir about an almost 20 year marriage. Having been happily married more than twice that, I would say she has some pretty good insights. If I were to give her advice, it would be to allow her spouse to be who he is as an adventurer and risk taker. But it looks like she's slowly coming to that realization. ( )
  tangledthread | Mar 12, 2020 |
I plucked this book from the library shelves by impulse, intrigued at the thought of learning about how time might influence someone's perspective on their marriage. While those insights are not earth-shattering (spoiler alert: they include the idea that as the years go by, you accumulate history together that changes your views of your partner), her self-perceptions are worth the read. She hints at a childhood and even more an adolescence filled with uncertainty and rebellion and it is not surprising to find that as an adult, she fears the uncertainties of life. Her writing is clear and direct and her insights into the neediness and anxieties she brings to the marriage make for an important lesson to learn about maintaining self-awareness in relationships. She has one story, about a children's book where a child goes through many adventures -- where the fortunate and the unfortunate events are always in a tentative balance that will stay with me. ( )
  PatsyMurray | Jan 19, 2020 |
Interesting glance into a marriage and life

Wavered between three and four stars. Four because it mostly held my interest but settled on three as it felt jumbled and disjointed. ( )
  bostonterrio | Nov 21, 2017 |
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"Let me fall if I must fall. The one I will become will catch me."  --THE BAAL SHEM TOV
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This book is for M.
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From my office window I see my husband on the driveway below.
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...beginnings are like seeds that contain within them everything that will ever happen.
I cannot bring myself to even idly wish any of it - not even the most painful parts - away. Eighteen years. Change even one moment, and the whole thing unravels. The narrative thread doesn't stretch in a line from end to end, but rather, spools and unspools, loops around and returns again and again to the same spot. Come closer now and listen. Be thankful for all of it.
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"The best-selling novelist and memoirist delivers her most intimate and powerful work: a piercing, life-affirming memoir about marriage and memory, about the frailty and elasticity of our most essential bonds, and about the accretion, over time, of both sorrow and love. Hourglass is an inquiry into how marriage is transformed by time--abraded, strengthened, shaped in miraculous and sometimes terrifying ways by accident and experience. With courage and relentless honesty, Dani Shapiro opens the door to her house, her marriage, and her heart, and invites us to witness her own marital reckoning--a reckoning in which she confronts both the life she dreamed of and the life she made, and struggles to reconcile the girl she was with the woman she has become. What are the forces that shape our most elemental bonds? How do we make lifelong commitments in the face of identities that are continuously shifting, and commit ourselves for all time when the self is so often in flux? What happens to love in the face of the unexpected, in the face of disappointment and compromise--how do we wrest beauty from imperfection, find grace in the ordinary, desire what we have rather than what we lack? Drawing on literature, poetry, philosophy, and theology, Shapiro writes gloriously of the joys and challenges of matrimonial life, in a luminous narrative that unfurls with urgent immediacy and sharp intelligence. Artful, intensely emotional work from one of our finest writers"--

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