Memoir of a novelist focused on the dissolution of her marriage along with her slow departure from the Orthodox Jewish community as she finds herself and puts her life back together.
Beautifully written, sad, and inspiring at the same time. ( )

My Review of “The Book of Separation” by Tova Mirvis

Kudos to Tova Mirvis, Author of “The Book of Separation” for such an honest, emotional and courageous Memoir. Can you imagine questioning why things have to be a certain way? Or imagine thinking of leaving a toxic situation, but are too afraid of what the unknown is? Or being so unhappy, and afraid of the consequences of making a change?

In “The Book of Separation, Tova Mirvis writes a memoir about leaving her marriage and the Orthodox Jewish rules and rituals she has grown up with. Tova writes in such a positive way about her dysfunctional marriage and questioning her religious faith. What makes it exceptionally difficult is that Tova has three children, and wants the best for them.

This is a memoir of searching for oneself, questioning, and maintaining a balance in life. As Tova becomes free, she starts to experience life in a way she never has before. She takes trips, tries new food, and enjoyable activities. As Tova deals with her new freedom, she also has to visit with the past because of her family. I recommend this intriguing and heartwarming memoir for those readers that enjoy reading Nonfiction and memoirs. ( )

Mirvis describes 2 separations in her life: divorcing her husband, Aaron, and disconnecting from most, not all, of her modern orthodox beliefs and practices. A double whammy!! She had married young, as most orthodox do, despite arguing with Aaron while dating, and personal doubts rationalizing that she didn't want to end up alone!

Her family is concerned and saddened but supportive. The Jewish community sadly is judgmental and disapproving especially against Mirvis' writings. The message is don't think like an independent adult; just concern yourself with what your neighbors and fellow congregants will think of you! Tova feels grateful that some of her friends and neighbors remain friendly, others simply civil.

Tova accepts that everything she is doing is an arduous process. She finds ways to strengthen herself, i.e. getting over her fear of driving on highways, and discovering the best of Boston, and to calm herself by finding progressive congregations and hiking nature trails.

She recognizes that the cost of being unhappy, living a lie was too high, and decides to speak up, and take action.

She listens supportively to individual orthodox women who seek her out to reveal their thoughts and the pain they experience, and ask her if that is what she felt.

A good read because Mirvis is honest, brave and scared, sad and determined; and an excellent writer.

This was a lovely and thoughtful memoir written about the time immediately following the author's divorce, and exodus from the orthodox Judaism that had been the faith she grew up with. As a person who has taken a religious exodus of sorts myself, much of her experience resonated with me. The idea of leaving behind what you have known to discover your own truth is a powerful one, and Mirvis writes about it with grace, all the while maintaining a deep respect for the people and faith she leaves behind. I found this to be a fantastic read - recommended. ( )

Memoirist Tova Mirvis grew up in an Orthodox Jewish family and married a man from a similar background with the intention of continuing their religion's time-honored traditions. As she grew older, had children and became a published novelist, she discovered that adhering to the old laws felt stultifying, and she yearned to flee her embattled marriage. The Book of Separation is an account of how the author learned to overcome her fears and break free of others' expectations to find a life that feels right. Fortunately for her, this new life comes with an ideal new man.

The Book of Separation is slow-paced and meditative; those looking for anti-religious scandal won't find it here. Instead, it is the story of one woman's liberation and reconciliation of her past with her present and future. She writes that Orthodox Judaism has become for her like her childhood home; she can visit it, but she doesn't live there any more. I can't recommend this memoir highly, as I found it tedious in places and easy to put down, but if you are interested in the topic, you may find it a worthy read. ( )