Books like Regretting Motherhood are so necessary. Anything that changes the conversation about motherhood away from the near-axiomatic "all women should be mothers; all women find motherhood rewarding" that dominates the conversation, even in 2017. Yes, women can have careers, but they MUST be moms. Yes, women can be gay, but they MUST be moms. And they must WANT to be moms. As somebody who has NEVER wanted to be a mom, and who dislikes that most people find the path to motherhood because that's what they "should" do (and not because it's a decision that they've given a lot of thought towards), I find it necessary to CHANGE THE CONVERSATION.

One way to change the conversation is to be truthful about the experiences that ALL women have (and men, I don't want to ignore the fact that men can become pregnant and give birth as well, or that not all women can). Yes, some women love being parents. Some women regret that they aren't parents or can't be parents. Some women don't want to be parents and love it. Some women had children and wish they hadn't. All voices must be heard for people to adequately make informed choices for themselves.

And let's be real. It's better to regret not being a mom, than it is to regret being one. However, how can you make an informed decision about becoming a parent unless you know what all of your options are beforehand? And not being a mother is, unfortunately, not regarded as much of an option. Regretting Motherhood does more than just expose the voices of the taboo. It also exposes all of the little insidious ways that our decisions about parenthood are enforced by the status quo. How disallowing women to air their feelings of regrets narrows our viewpoint of motherhood as something that is universally regarded as the "best decision a woman could ever make." As something that is a difficult job, but "rewarding" nonetheless.

I hope that books like Regretting Motherhood just open the door for this to become less taboo, for more women to start discussing their decisions around motherhood or non-motherhood. Eventually, I would like to live in a world where men and women don't constantly tell me that I will one day "regret" not having children, that my decision to not have children will not make me viewed as less-than, or irresponsible, or selfish, or immature. But just one of many equally valid options. To have children. To not have children. The end. ( )

This book is a report on a study of over 20 Israeli women on the subject of regretting motherhood. The study was conducted through interviews and participants were obtained largely through on-line forums on the topic. Donath notes the great taboo against the very idea that motherhood may ever be regretted. Indeed, the opposite position is pushed whenever a woman expresses an unwillingness to bear children. Oh, you will regret not having children, and then it will be too late, women are constantly told. Obviously, a study of such a small sample, particularly in a nation in which there are higher than average pressures to bear children, cannot be extrapolated to other times or places. But it is a start and the topic is a valuable one to study. ( )

Aman a sus hijos, pero se arrepienten de ser madres.

#madresarrepentidases un tratado de pensamiento radical que no dejará indiferente a nadie.

#madresarrepentidaspone sobre la mesa algo de lo que apenas se habla: las muchas mujeres que, una vez han sido madres, no han encontrado la «profetizada» plenitud. Aman a sus hijos por a su vez no quieren ser madres de nadie.

En este ensayo controvertido, tan minucioso como iluminador, la socióloga Orna Donath examina la dimensión del tabú, desactiva los dictados sociales y deja que sean las propias madres quienes hablen de sus experiencias. Así,#madresarrepentidasse erige como un nuevo e imprescindible manifiesto feminista, llamado a romper barreras.

Aman a sus hijos, pero se arrepienten de ser madres.@madresarrepentidases un tratado de pensamiento radical que no dejara indiferente a nadie.@madresarrepentidaspone sobre la mesa algo de lo que apenas se habla: las muchas mujeres que, una vez han sido madres, no han encontrado la profetizada plenitud. Aman a sus hijos por a su vez no quieren ser madres de nadie.En este ensayo controvertido, tan minucioso como iluminador, la sociologa Orna Donath examina la dimension del tabu, desactiva los dictados sociales y deja que sean las propias madres quienes hablen de sus experiencias. Asi,@madresarrepentidasse erige como un nuevo e imprescindible manifiesto feminista, llamado a romper barreras.Criticas:Orna Donath defiende a estas mujeres contritas de un amplio abanico de ataques. Por una parte, de los que les llegan desde Israel, de tono radical y discurso atavico, escudandose en @lo natural@ para decidir que es bueno y que es malo. Pero tambien las defiende de ciertas voces europeas, mas sutiles, que huyen del discurso moralizante y sin embargo no dudarian en recetar todo tipo de tratamientos a estas madres por sus lamentables pecados. (Reseña tomada de la Casa del libro)

En este ensayo controvertido, tan minucioso como iluminador, la socióloga Orna Donath examina la dimensión del tabú, desactiva los dictados sociales y deja que sean las propias madres quienes hablen de sus experiencias. Así,madres arrepentidas se erige como un nuevo e imprescindible manifiesto feminista, llamado a romper barreras.