15. Real American by Julie Lythcott-Haims
read by the author
published: 2017
format: 6:39 overdrive audiobook (~184 Pages, 288 pages on hardcover)
acquired: Library
listened: Mar 19-26
rating: 3½

I like this more now then when I first finished. First of all Lythcott-Haims writes well and is excellent reader. This was easy to listen to because of the nice presentation. And second because I'm thinking about it more and when I think about it a lot things come up.

Lythcott-Haims is a mixed-race American who spent those critical school age years in the almost all-white area of Verona, WI (near Madison). Her mother is English and her father, a one-time assistant surgeon general of the US, was African-American. This led her a lot of identity issues. Slowly, it seems, she would identify more and more with black issues even if she never really felt she got that American black culture.

My first impression upon finishing was that the book is a bit thin, a girl who grew up with some identity issues, but with great parents, and strong home, and who, through intelligence and hard work, moved on to Stanford and, later, Harvard Law and later a successful career, with maybe a little regret to the role affirmative action may have played. OK. That's not a really a book. She also looks deeply into racism and has many moving things to say. Ok, better. But the thing is she does make it interesting, her life is unique, she presents well and actually that is a lot - all that stuff. There is an American history there.

2018
https://www.librarything.com/topic/288371#6440975 ( )

So reminiscent of another memoir I read. The struggle if belonging. The heartbreak. I was taken aback. Disgusted. Encouraged. Alarmed. Grateful to be let in. ( )

If you are a fan of memoirs than you will be thrilled with this book. I thoroughly enjoyed the fact that Julie did not stray away from sharing her feelings, experiences, and thoughts. As Julie points out "white people don't feel sorry for yourselves". I hate labels like "white" "black" "yellow". White people really do have it easier due to their skin color.

Growing up I too was judged and not thought of as just a person but had to deal with the fact that my eyes were almond shaped and I looked "different". This happened as early as I can remember in second grade. The worse experience I can remember is going home on the school bus and being offered what I thought was candied red hearts only to find out it was candle wax. Waiting for the bus to arrive at my stop with a mouth full of candle wax and rushing home to spit it out. This is probably why I gravitated towards the other "misfits" at school. One of my friends was black and deaf for which I learned sign language to speak with her. So, I could relate to what Julie experienced. Luckily, never too the extreme that Julie encountered.

Again, this is why I enjoyed this book reading this book felt like I was getting a "raw/stripped down" look into Julie's life and what it is like to just want to fit in. Kind of like when a singer gives a performance by singing without a back track or instruments. I could not stop reading this book. You have to check this book out. ( )

I won an ARC of this book from the publisher through Librarything. This is probably one of the best memoirs I've read this year. Lythcott-Haims writes in poetic style, with irregular chapter breaks, with some chapters being only a few lines long. She goes back and forth in time, describing her life as a biracial upper middle class girl and woman in the 60's and 70's. Born to a Nigerian father and British mother, Lythcott-Haims seeks to develop her identity, finding it difficult to feel a belonging to either race: white or black. She's not quite 'black enough' and she's not quite 'white enough'. She includes many anecdotes in which she is seen as a person of suspicion, ("hey, wait a minute, you don't have a ticket") mystery, ("where are you from?") and dubious intelligence (" So I heard you got into Stanford")
Many of her stories are heartbreaking. She is often cast aside by whites because of her skin color. She is the butt of jokes, the object of stereotypes and unmerited loathing. She even talks about loathing herself.
Honest, gritty and raw, this book is a must read for anyone. I think I learned more about prejudice in this book than I did in a class I took many years ago on the subject. I hope this becomes a best seller. And an assigned reading for classes on the subject. Lythcott-Haims is a fabulous writer and I look forward to reading more of her writings. ( )

Real American by Julie Lythcott-Haims is an inside view of growing up as a biracial black woman in America. Very eye-opening and informative in her personal feelings, sense of self and the experiences she has growing up and living in an America where racism is still a problem. Recommend to all. ( )