Solid ideas for a lifetime

Date 2: Agree to Disagree
The process of repair:
1. Feelings: Each person takes a turn to talk about what they were feeling during the fight:
2. Validate: Each person should talk about how they saw the situation and their perspective about what actually happened in the argument.
3. Triggers. In some regrettable incidents (not all) there are reasons that the conflict has escalated. We call these "triggers." They are old, enduring vulnerabilities that occurred before this relationship began and have left emotional scars that can get activated. When you feel triggered, search your memory for a point in your history or childhood when you had a similar set of feelings. Triggers never go away, they endure.
4. Accept responsibility
5. Discuss how you both might do things differently next time.

Contents (Summary)
* The Conversations That Matter
* Your Date Night
* The Four Skills of Intimate Conversation
* The Art of Listening
* Date 1: Lean on Me: Trust and Commitment
* Date 2: Addressing Conflict
* Date 3: Let’s Get in On: Sex & Intimacy
* Date 4: The Cost of Love: Work & Money
* Date 5: Room to Grow: Family
* Date 6: Play with Me: Fun & Adventure
* Date 7: Something to Believe in: Growth & Spirituality
* Date 8: A Lifetime of Love: Dreams
* Conclusion: Cherish Each Other
* Appendix: More Open-Ended Questions
* Bonus Date Night Exercises
* Acknowledgments
* Endnotes
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I found this book at an AirBnB we were staying in. I didn't read every word but got the gist from skimming. There are a lot of open-ended questions to spark conversation and we did some of those as a family.

I was already pretty familiar with the Gottman Institute theory of what makes a successful marriage, so I didn't find any revelations in this book, but it's always good to be reminded. ( )

Fun ideas and solid, research- based relationship wisdom. The Gottmans are definitely some of the best in their business and this book reflects that. If you've read them faithfully (I pretty much have) some of this is old news. But there's a lot of new stuff and tips that you can put into action. Essentially, they give you easy ways to implement their discoveries and begin a conversation with your spouse, thus helping you avoid the daily rut that most people ease into. ( )

This is an amazing book. It's the first self-help type book I've read on love/relationship. The scientific and data based approach used in this book, along with personal anecdotes, provide a guide to navigate love. Obviously, in relationships some things occur naturally, but this book gives (almost endless) opportunities for growth that may have been ignored because of IRL issues. ( )