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Minding Miss Manners: In an Era of Fake Etiquette

von Judith Martin

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244949,100 (3.75)4
From the most trusted name in advice comes a fresh, contemporary guide to modern manners dilemmas. Minding Miss Manners: In an Era of Fake Etiquette is a modern guide to modern manners. Facing down the miscreants purveying false etiquette rules (no, you may not wait a year to send a thank-you note for a gift and yes, in an age of social-media-encouraged over-familiarity you can politely refuse to answer nosy questions), Miss Manners guides you through these turbulent times with her timeless wisdom and archly acid wit.  … (mehr)
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Another winner from Judith Martin on her favorite subject of etiquette, "the extra-legal system of voluntary restraint to avoid antagonizing others unnecessarily." The writer answers reader questions in her inimitable style, while also commenting on larger social issues. She notes an interesting (and distressing) trend of how (white collar) workplaces now include a pseudosocial component, which leads people to confuse friendship and gift giving with business (money making) ventures. "The point should be thoughtfulness, and Miss Manners acknowledges that it is in short supply." Recommended for all libraries. ( )
  librarianarpita | Mar 17, 2021 |
Miss Manners, a.k.a. Judith Martin, is back with another small volume of helpful advice in navigating the modern world politely. A major topic in this book is, of course, social media, and how to handle the lack of normal social courtesy and restraint that it enables.

No, you don't have to treat invitations to donate to charitable causes, or to purchase things you don't want from children who have been hijacked into fundraising for their schools, as social invitations. They are not, even when they are disguised as such.

No, you still don't have to respond to comments on your parenting style, or questions about your teenager's sex life.

And no, sexual harassment in the workplace is not best dealt with as mere social infraction.

Judith Martin's insight and arch humor are still on display here. The narrator is her daughter; I suspect that's why she's got her mother's style down so very well.

Light, useful, and fun.

I received a free copy of this audiobook from the publisher via NetGalley, and am revieiwig it voluntarily.

Note: It didn't really take me three months to listen to this; the first few iterations of NetGalley's audiobook player were really bad. ( )
  LisCarey | Oct 26, 2020 |
This book was so fun. I love the art of etiquette (I have a huge Emily Post book) and I love dry wit. Miss Manners is the master of both! She addresses modern situations like crowd funding, bridezillas and social media.

Her answer to a person who didn’t like being touched had me laughing so hard I was crying. It’s especially funny because the narrator (Miss Manner’s real-life daughter) sounds just like I imagine Miss Manners does. The person who didn’t like being touched said that an acquaintance comes up behind them and scratches their back, and says she does it because she knows the person doesn’t like to be touched. The reader wants to know how they should handle this woman. Miss Manners responds:

“As your acquaintance considers that annoying people is amusing, Miss Manners hopes that she will enjoy you giving a piercing scream the minute she touches you and shouting, ‘What are you doing?’”

Miss Manners gives practical advice too but even that is rendered with perfect wit. And she cuts both ways – several of the letters are from rude people seeking advice on how to be acceptably rude. Miss Manners has no problem putting them in their place.

This book is a fun listen. The format makes it a good book to listen to even if you only have little chunks of time – you can listen to several letters in just a few minutes. The print edition would make a great Christmas gift for the etiquette lover on your shopping list. Highly recommended. ( )
  mcelhra | Oct 11, 2020 |
I have always been a fan of advice columnists, with Miss Manners ranking up at the top, so I was really excited to discover that Judith Martin (the person behind the Miss Manners pen name since 1978, with assistance from her children Nicholas and Jacobina since 2013) had a new compilation of reader letters and responses. In this compilation, Miss Manners continues to enlighten, inform and delight readers with advice delivered with her signature dash of witticism. Navigating the age-old dilemmas of weddings, family squabbles, holiday gatherings, party hosting, gift giving/receiving and thank you notes, this compilation also includes some sage advice for more modern dilemmas from food fussing, extortionist etiquette and virtuous rudeness to fundraising and yes, selfie parties.

Narrated by Judith Martin's daughter, Jacobina, I found her clear, poised and proper enunciation - with a wonderful hint of snarkiness! - to be easy on the ear and pitch perfect as the voice for Miss Manners. While the letters and responses have been organized into broader categories, the format makes it easy for listeners (and readers of the ebook or print format) to dip in and out for quick intervals of listening/reading.

Filled with sensible, common sense advice and delivered with humour and grace, I found myself nodding my head in agreement, snorting with laughter and occasionally gasping with shock at the situations presented. A wonderful refresher on the do's and don'ts of life and nice to learn that even as society continues to evolve and the online world takes control of our lives, something things, etiquette-wise, have remained unchanged.

I received an unedited proof copy from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. ( )
  lkernagh | Jul 20, 2020 |
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From the most trusted name in advice comes a fresh, contemporary guide to modern manners dilemmas. Minding Miss Manners: In an Era of Fake Etiquette is a modern guide to modern manners. Facing down the miscreants purveying false etiquette rules (no, you may not wait a year to send a thank-you note for a gift and yes, in an age of social-media-encouraged over-familiarity you can politely refuse to answer nosy questions), Miss Manners guides you through these turbulent times with her timeless wisdom and archly acid wit.  

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