when paul monette reports that he lost his temper and said, "I'm not interested anymore in talking to anyone who doesn't have AIDS," it isn't that I don't blame him (and who am I anyhow), but that I think he was right. as in righteous. ( )

“What am I going to do without him?”…
“Write about him Paul… That’s what you have to do.”

In a world before triple-drug therapy (HAART) was enacted and allowed individuals to live a normal lifespan with HIV, Monette and his lover Roger Horwitz contracted HIV, which ineluctably progressed into AIDS. Professionally, Horwitz was a lawyer and a lover of literature; Monette was a writer. Both were educated at Ivy League schools. This work is the first personal memoir of someone with AIDS.

The secret is that this book is not a story of a disease. Instead, it is a love story as passionate and profound as any written down in human language. In today’s world of marriage equality, works like this demonstrate the deep value of homosexual relationships. Monette beautifully voices his love using floral, expressive language that is expected among articulate heterosexuals… only Monette did so in an America and in a world that did not accept his humanity as fully as they do now. That defiant decency is the brilliance of this work.

Managing HIV/AIDS took over this couple’s lives. They went from vacationing in Greece to making regular stays at the hospital over 19 months. Horwitz dies at the end of this work, and Monette lived until 1995 – both dying of AIDS-related complications. Their love did not falter while being confronted with an evil enemy. It sustained until the bitter end. Thus, this book combines themes of love with those of a noble death.

Dare I say that heterosexuals need to read this book more than the gay and lesbian community? It speaks of the dignity of love in any context. It does not debauch into sensationalism, nor does it cower without decency. It puts to death many stereotypes of gay folk (even more common in the 1980s than in the 2020s). Evocative words draw readers from whatever background into Monette and Horwitz’s relationship and dare them to find something wrong with it. That message of love’s triumph still needs to be heard in 2021 as much as it did in 1988.

Obviously, gay men, who remain disproportionately and cruelly plagued with incurable HIV, and their allies will sympathize with Monette’s plight. They will find themselves and their own stories in the characters of this narrative. This is the natural audience. Nonetheless, Monette’s vivid words, so common to lovers yet glistening in the setting of AIDS in the 1980s, shine brightly for readers of varied backgrounds. They teach humanity inasmuch as they inspire humanity. Perhaps especially those who continue to belittle gay men as second-rate should listen and stand corrected. ( )

An unflinchingly honest, eloquently written memoir about love and watching your beloved die of AIDS in the 1980s. Tragic and important reading all at once. ( )

Borrowed Time: An AIDS Memoir by Paul Monette; (4*)

It was really difficult to pull my head out of this memoir. I took my time reading it and found myself very caught up in the lives of Monette and the people he wrote about. I also found myself much more sympathetic with Paul's lover, Roger, than with Paul himself.
These are Paul's memories of the days of HIV, Aids and those who lived with it before it was even admitted that there was such a disease. In those years, the 80s, contracting this disease was a death sentence. Paul's lover died in 1986 and when Paul began this beautiful memoir, he had no assurance that he, himself, would live long enough to complete it. (He passed away in 1995.) I am thankful that he did for this memoir is his very beautiful legacy.
Now before you think that I found this book to be perfect, I did not. I found Paul to be a bit full of himself and to be self important. He was also quite the name dropper of those of the Hollywood and L.A. scene in those days. But the book IS wonderfully written and so much of it is heart rending.
I took the extended families of these men and also their friends quite to heart and found myself loving the character of many of them. I remember thinking as I read this that I would so have appreciated knowing a great many of the people who fill this memoir.
All in all, a lovely memoir and tribute to the thousands of gay men who fought this dread disease and sadly lost. ( )

This was on a friend's list, and since I love memoirs, I picked it up at the library. I haven't read anything like this before. The context couldn't be more foreign to me- Gay intellectuals of 1980's West Hollywood. The writing is superb though. Paul Monette was obviously a gifted poet, narrator and archivist. Despite what your views are on gays, (and I'm certainly , as one reviewer stated, "not a worshiper of the gay couple") this book is worth reading. It's a very good picture of the AIDS realities during the 80's, the marginalization of the gay population, and the real horror that was so present at this time. I did struggle through some parts- in particular the jet-setting lifestyle common to them- hobnobbing w/screen writers, producers, poets and artists, the constant parties and stuffy fundraisers, jaunts to Greece or other foreign countries.. It's a bit much for me but the writing was so obviously good. I'm curious now to read his 1992 memoir, Becoming a Man: Half a Life Story. ( )