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How We Live Is How We Die

von Pema Chödrön

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Discover newfound freedom in life's ever-constant flow of endings and beginnings with the wise words of Pema Chödrön, beloved Buddhist nun and bestselling author of When Things Fall Apart As much as we might try to resist, endings happen in every moment--the end of a breath, the end of a day, the end of a relationship, and ultimately the end of life. And accompanying each ending is a beginning, though it may be unclear what the beginning holds. In How We Live Is How We Die, Pema Chödrön shares her wisdom for working with this flow of life--learning to live with ease, joy, and compassion through uncertainty, embracing new beginnings, and ultimately preparing for death with curiosity and openness rather than fear.   Poignant for readers of all ages, her teachings on the bardos--a Tibetan term referring to a state of transition, including what happens between this life and the next--reveal their power and relevance at each moment of our lives. She also offers practical methods for transforming life's most challenging emotions about change and uncertainty into a path of awakening and love. As she teaches, the more freedom we can find in our hearts and minds as we live this life, the more fearlessly we'll be able to confront death and what lies beyond. In all, Pema provides readers with a master course in living life fully and compassionately in the shadow of death and change.  … (mehr)
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I’ve read and reviewed at least one other book by this author.

We learn in the introduction that the Buddha taught us that focusing too much on our own self-interest brings us pain and anxiety while extending our love and care toward others brings us joy and peace.

But the teachings in the book deal with the bardos. The word “bardo” refers to the passage following our death and preceding our next life.

The bardo teachings are based on an ancient Tibetan text called “Bardo Todrol”, in English “The Tibetan Book of the Dead”.

Bardo Todrol is meant to be read to those who have passed away and entered this state.

It describes the various experiences the dead person will go through and thus serves as a guide to help them navigate what may be a “disorienting” journey from this life to the next.

Hearing the Bardo Todrol “will optimize one’s chances for a peaceful death, a peaceful journey, and favorable rebirth”.

In the best-case scenario one will be liberated altogether from samsara , the painful cycle of life and death.”

A broader translation of the word “bardo” is “transition”. Actually, we are always in transition.

There are six bardos in The Tibetan Book of the Dead; the natural bardo of this life, the bardo of dreaming, the bardo of meditation, the bardo of dying, the bardo of dharmata, and the bardo of becoming.

Whe we understand that this life is a bardo, a state of continual change, we will be able to face any other bardos that may arise.

The bardo of dying begins when we realize we’re going to die and lasts until our final breath, Then comes the bardo of dharmata, which means “the true nature of phenomena”; then there is the bardo of becoming during which we make the transition to our next life.

In the present book Pema talks about these three bardos in detail.

The book is about fear of death and how we relate to it.

Pema wants us to become more at ease with death.

Opening to death will help you open to life.

She tells us that death happens every moment. “We live in a wondrous flow of birth and death, birth and death.”

Establishing our motivation in this way is known as “generating bodhichitta, the heart of compassion, or the mindset of awakening”.

There is a continual process of death and renewal, which is known as “impermanence”.

The Buddha stressed impermanence as one of the most important “contemplations” on the spiritual path.

“Contemplating impermanence is the perfect way into the Bardo teachings,”

The Buddha taught about the three types of suffering.

The first type is “the suffering of suffering”, e.g. war, starvation, abuse, neglect.

The seconf type is “the suffering of change”, We can never get our life to be just the way we want; we can never reach a position where we’re always feeling good.

The third type of suffering is known as “all-pervasive suffering”. It is the constant discomfort that comes from our basic resistance to life as it really is.

(This is my own type of suffering.)

Trungpa Rinpoche had a saying “Trust not in success. Trust in reality.”

Pema also quotes Thich Nhat Hanh as saying “It’s not impermanence that makes us suffer. What makes us suffer is wanting things to be permanent when they are not.”

She often refers to “groundlessness”. I just wished she had defined the word, since I don’t really understand what she means. The word does not appear in the Oxford English Dictionary.

It is Pema’s experience that applying the Bardo teachings has removed much of her fear and anxiety about death.

Also, it has made her feel more alive, open and courageous in her day-to-day experience of life.

In the appendix we learn about various practices – basic sitting meditation, meditating with open awareness, tonglen and the five Buddha families.

The above will give you an impression of the content of the book.

It didn’t make me less afraid of death because I'm not afraid of it to begin with. If anything, it made me feel that death is more complicated than I had thought. ( )
  IonaS | Feb 16, 2024 |
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Discover newfound freedom in life's ever-constant flow of endings and beginnings with the wise words of Pema Chödrön, beloved Buddhist nun and bestselling author of When Things Fall Apart As much as we might try to resist, endings happen in every moment--the end of a breath, the end of a day, the end of a relationship, and ultimately the end of life. And accompanying each ending is a beginning, though it may be unclear what the beginning holds. In How We Live Is How We Die, Pema Chödrön shares her wisdom for working with this flow of life--learning to live with ease, joy, and compassion through uncertainty, embracing new beginnings, and ultimately preparing for death with curiosity and openness rather than fear.   Poignant for readers of all ages, her teachings on the bardos--a Tibetan term referring to a state of transition, including what happens between this life and the next--reveal their power and relevance at each moment of our lives. She also offers practical methods for transforming life's most challenging emotions about change and uncertainty into a path of awakening and love. As she teaches, the more freedom we can find in our hearts and minds as we live this life, the more fearlessly we'll be able to confront death and what lies beyond. In all, Pema provides readers with a master course in living life fully and compassionately in the shadow of death and change.  

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