I had expected this book to be completely fluff -- and it almost is, but not quite. Peppered throughout this piratical parody are a plethora of pertinent parenting tips which, if you remove the words "pirate" and "prisoner" and replace them with "child" and "sibling," might actually be useful and applicable in the average household. Of course, given that the book is first and foremost a parody of other parenting advice books, readers may wish to take with a grain of salt (cod) any advice they do encounter. Remember, pirates aren't know for their forthrightness.

My favorite chapter is the one entitled "Your Pirate's First Ship -- How to Convert Your Minivan into a Pirate Schooner." The book also contains the best pronoun disclaimer ever. Overall, a cute, quirky book, and a quick read. I don't know if I would go so far as to call it a must-read for every potential pirate parent, but for anyone raising little ones it certainly has some poignancy. Arrrr, matey!

Hey dads, do you want to raise your kids to be pirates? Of course you do – what dad wouldn’t want his own little pirate crew? Then read Cap’N Billy “The Butcher” MacDougall’s Guide to Pirate Parenting and you’ll have your little scallywags on the path to a lucrative and adventurous career as pirates in no time. If you still need convincing that this is a good idea (after all, the Guide does state that “Raising your children to be pirates is like dusting the living room with a leaf blower”), a helpful Introduction is provided on the merits of raising your children to be pirates. This includes a Top Ten list of convincing arguments such as “When other parents hear you’re raising your children as pirates, they’ll stop asking you to volunteer at school.”

In succeeding chapters, Cap’N Billy dispenses advice on raising your little pirate from the potty training years (“Fill your toilet with toy ships and let your pirate fire away”) to the signs that your grown pirate is ready to leave home (“Your child is already wanted in 16 states and on three oceans”). There are helpful chapters on Quelling Mutinies, Scurvy and Hook Injuries, and How to Convert Your Minivan into a Pirate Schooner. Handy tips for living a pirate parent lifestyle abound, including buying a fresh whole squid to use for diaper changing practice, the best way to train your children to eat during a category-5 hurricane, and how to convert even peaceful-sounding Amish names into terrifying pirate names like Rebecca “Bloody Quilt” Fisher. Humorous and at its best when it hits close to home (let’s face it, your kids probably do already smell like pirates), the Guide to Pirate Parenting will put a smile on any dad’s face. Follow its advice and you and your little pirates can soon begin terrorizing the Seven Seas, or at least your local Seven-Eleven. Aaargh! Review by Book Dads ( )