The girl who gave big Wayne D. the subtitle to one of his books—‘making the decision to be free’.

It’s a hard book to talk about, which is why the little writing surrounding it tends to resemble ad copy. Blah blah blah Ma vie espirituelle, ce n’est pas? Oui? Je ne comprends pas, para decirte la verdad. (I love making fun of French people, who in my American brain often fall back on my stronger Spanish.)

And of course it’s hard, you know. Gangaji apparently suffered from rather subtle delusions before she became who she is, like many people you know. So there’s a lot (I think) about not holding onto rewards, (isn’t there a verse in Revelation 4 about the saints casting their crowns at the feet of God, the Lamb, you know—implicitly, they decide not to hawk their crowns on Amazon, right), not cultivating an “enlightened” self (delusion), the way that you might cultivate a sense of bodily greed of one form or another, right.

When I first read the book I wasn’t sure what I was greedy for anymore; I was kinda scandalized by the teaching story, (projection?), although now I see that it is a very Bright tale about why Not to be a thief. I also thought Tolle was a little glum in the introduction, (maybe he is, but maybe….) saying that people can’t learn from stories (projection, past self! Projection!), but, you know.

But, you know, to personalize it (*collective groan from the audience*), you’ve just got to open to experience, even when it’s a giving-back or apparent diminishment, (gee, I wonder who did it like that in the Bible), trusting that the Giant Duck has a plan that’s better than mine. (Not many lambs around here lol.)

…. I don’t know, if you didn’t like me I guess you could say that I’m like Leo T., (who not everybody likes), since there is a sort of back and forth, even though I personally think I am being made less base. But there is kinda that curiosity, followed by…. I don’t know. I used to be filled with shame, and feel like I had to always feel a certain way. I mean, now I’d like to be able to, I don’t know, kiss in my dreams without being motivated by aversion to anything (and settling on one partner). But also I think there can be attachment to my own belief that I am good, (I’ve never seen all the old movies, only a few, since my movie time was my recentist time sry, but the line I guess is, “I’m Shocked, Shocked….”), and really the belief that I’m holding onto (I don’t know if that’s the mystic vocabulary, you’ll forgive me), is not that I am good.

…. When I first read this book, I thought it was about stopping myself from thinking, like a sort of (pathological) self-control. But I see that’s not Gangaji. Thoughts aren’t bad, inherently; they’re just impermanent—they’re born and they die, which is basically never something we appreciate when we think they’re important, are caught in them, in a way practically worship them.

There will be thoughts in our lives, but we must learn to be ready to give them back, (to “stop”, as she says), like Jesus on the Cross, surrendering everything that is given over to death, for awhile.

And then, of course, it all comes back, and that’s good. But it’s not really the reward which is good, but the readiness to give back what we have received.

…. And then I do that too, even though I said I wouldn’t, realized, or whatever. —Time to practice! (Damn, I can’t really stop being cut off from the divine presence, maybe if I get unhappy….)—

Can’t say fairer than that! as they say in the UK. (Ie there is nothing really to add, although you watch and I will lol.)

…. Again, she says a lot that is a little subtle and that I can’t re-say, but she describes dead ends in spirituality which strangely I guess I was reading about even as I was walking along them. (I don’t think this is that uncommon either, for any background of people.) But I will re-clothe one statement of hers, although it’s no finer a dress: even if we are more or less done with unnecessary suffering in our own case, that is not to say that we need have no commitment to others, and to a life of integrity. I am very happy that she made that point, as it would of course be easy not to, (easy to speculate about who wouldn’t, too, lol).

…. I try not to make promises because I know that most of them would be bullshit, (responsibility positions and me rarely mix, I can barely keep my feet on the ground and I’m always surprised when people don’t notice), but I guess I did handle this ok, re: ‘If you forget a surah, I will send you another’.

“I’ll have to wear a mask when I go to the doctor. I have to wear a mask everywhere (except for HomeGoods, which is where I am now).”

Although always easier in thee to see, than in me, you know, re: you fall down and they say something, below (where you means me lol).

I don’t know.

I used to think that amillennialism (in Christianity) was cray all day you know…. (Like having to remind them I’m on break lol.) But it’s like…. I don’t know. Maybe this is flourishing; I am not some Enlightened Being, but I am being enlightened, kinda sorta sometimes, for now. And maybe even if sometimes I am angry and afraid and full of expectations, I don’t know, sometimes I’m not, and for now I might be. I might be exhausted and I might not care, and I might tell God, Yeah yeah, sure sure. Later. And yet I can forget for awhile what I cannot do until I can do it, so maybe I am done with waiting and lying, not forever, but for now.

Which doesn’t mean I’ll always be safe and warm and it doesn’t mean that this and that won’t happen and that I won’t be afraid that it will—that they’ll say something and I’ll fall down on my ass or I won’t fall down and then they’ll say something and then I’ll fall down on my ass and cry, you know; and that’ll make it worse.

But for now, no.

…. I guess that what Gangaji calls “spiritual fascism” is kinda also codependence—I only want the light; I’m not going to have anything but the light—if it’s not the light, it’s going in the black bag. (You know.)

But the truth is, even though in the end good is rewarded, it often seems not to be, and you can’t (be good and) sit around hatin’ until your ship comes in, right. I don’t know how to say it. Things fall apart, and you have to still say I am, like Jesus.

Jesus, let’s be clear, did not actually want other people to hurt him, but when they did, it was like, an investigation—So that’s your reality? I guess for you I’m a criminal. Is that what’s going on for you? Where do we go from here? —We’re going to kill you. —Yes, I suppose you will. (You know.)

Maybe if everyone had God consciousness there wouldn’t be pain, although I think some people will always be in a body, and have fluctuations, bliss and unbliss, and even finite spirits, you know. But it’s fine, now, isn’t it? Sometimes the choice isn’t up to you, and then you just—not, indeed, “wait” in the sense of expectant fuming—but you just ‘wait and see’, you know.

And you say, This is all there is.

And then, it’s different, but then too, This is all there is.

> Babelio : https://www.babelio.com/livres/Gangaji-Diamant-dans-votre-poche/1213255

> Livre indispensable pour quiconque se trouve sur un chemin spirituel. Il s'en dégage une sagesse qui vous prend au plus profond de votre être. A faire connaître le plus possible autour de soi.
--Alain, le 28 janv. 2010, (Sur Fnac.com)

> Guérir de la blessure primale
Cet article est extrait de l’ouvrage, inédit en version française : Le Diamant dans votre poche, A la découverte de votre véritable splendeur.
In: Revue 3' millénaire, (99), printemps 2011, (pp. 78-81). … ; (en ligne),
URL : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1eBMHaKbyycDcdOkpVl8ca6tGnWYsF5eR/view?usp=shari...

> Qui suis-je ?
Cet article est extrait de l’ouvrage, inédit en version française : Le Diamant dans votre poche, A la découverte de votre véritable splendeur.
In: Revue 3' millénaire, (101), automne 2011, (pp. 4-7). … ; (en ligne),
URL : https://drive.google.com/file/d/17Cah7kszYK1r98wV8q3FuHiudJCtEFVe/view?usp=shari...

> Le Diamant dans votre poche
Cet article est extrait de l’ouvrage, inédit en version française : Le Diamant dans votre poche, A la découverte de votre véritable splendeur.
In: Revue 3' millénaire, (107), printemps 2013, (pp. 70-73). … ; (en ligne),
URL : https://drive.google.com/file/d/11I8yaxOEsyhfZWEBl9Sy_ets8WdqDMr_/view?usp=shari...

> Approche de la méditation : L’expérience Directe
Cet article est extrait de l’ouvrage, inédit en version française : Le Diamant dans votre poche, A la découverte de votre véritable splendeur.
In: Revue 3' millénaire, (131), printemps 2019, (pp. 76-79). … ; (en ligne),
URL : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QBs7iWySHARfhqnQTdbEC0kRTBvjZen5/view?usp=shari...

> Gangaji a rencontré H.W.L. Poonja (Papaji) en 1990, après, dit-elle, une vie « concentrée sur mon histoire de souffrance personnelle ». Cette rencontre décisive lui a permis de découvrir qu’elle était fondamentalement libre. « Je ne suis pas attachée à l’histoire de “moi” » réalisa-t-elle. Depuis plusieurs années, Gangaji donne des entretiens aux USA et en Europe, avec ce sentiment qu’elle « ne peut jouer le rôle d’enseignante », sachant que « ce rôle n’est pas réel ».
« Le véritable enseignant, ajoute-t-elle, est vivant en chacun de nous et il se révèle finalement dans chaque chose, que cette apparence soit à l’intérieur ou à l’extérieur. » Cet article est extrait de l’ouvrage, inédit en version française : Le Diamant dans votre poche, A la découverte de votre véritable splendeur.
Voir un texte dans 3e millénaire n°99,101, 106, 107 & 131.