A heart rending account of a true believer in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints who wrestles with the doctrine and ceremonies required of a woman.

I admire Deborah Laake's courage to go against the "secrecy code" and publish her account of her personal struggle. She shows great courage to be vulnerable to the depth of her soul.

As all of us must do at some times innour lives, she manages to reconcile who she is with what she chooses to believe. A touching book. ( )

Badly written. The author was extremely childish and naive throughout, and comes across as a very flat, one sided character. It's hard to believe anyone was actually that simple in how she thought - I'm sure the author was trying to just oversimplify the events of her life, but it didn't come across that way.

I didn't really learn anything new about Mormonism either, which is why I read the book, and could not like Laake as a person, which made for a dreadful book. ( )

This non-fiction autobiography purports to be an expose of the Mormon religion, but is really just an expose of one woman's unhappy life.

I haven't learned anything I didn't know about Mormonism from this book, but I have learned more details than I really ever needed to know about a stranger's sex life!

The book isn't very well written, either, but it has the same weird appeal as that of a daytime talk show, where you can't really figure out WHY the guests want to reveal these sordid and intimate details of their lives to the general public.

And Laake does pretty much admit that the messes she gets herself into are her own fault... she's just pretty spineless. For example, she marries a guy she doesn't love - but it wasn't an arranged marriage or anything - the guy pursued her, she didn't have the guts to break up with him or tell him no, and she *assumes* that her family would want her to marry him. Of course, the marriage doesn't go well. But it wasn't her church that got her into the mess. After the divorce (which her family supports her through), yes, church elders treat her pretty badly. But you know what? No one's forcing her to go to counseling with male elders who are weirdly obsessed with the details of her sex life. No one's even forcing her to be a Mormon!

In the end, the moral you can take away from the story is that trying to live your life by what you *think* are other people's expectations for you will only make you miserable. Reading Laake's story, I keep wanting to say "Stick up for yourself!" and "Get over it!"
But, I read on salon.com that a while after this book became a bestseller, she committed suicide. While I disagree with many aspects of Mormonism (and of pretty much all religions - I'm an equal-opportunity atheist!), I don't think the religion she was brought up in was really responsible for her unhappiness in life. After all, plenty of people leave a religion without letting it ruin their life! The problem was her personal inability to decide what *she* wanted from life, and to go out and find it. ( )

on Wednesday, March 01, 2006 I wrote about this book:

Read this in a couple of hours. I was shocked to learn that the author had commited suicide a couple of years after this book was published.

It was a very interesting read. Not the best of writing but an interesting view on the Mormoms church.
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Disturbing account of Deborah Laake's young womanhood in the Mormon Church and her direct experience with the role of women in that church. It should be understood that this is Laake's very personal account and may be offensive to some readers. ( )