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Finding Love von Simone Anderson
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Finding Love (2009. Auflage)

von Simone Anderson

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This is the first book I read by this author, and as first impression is a positive one, but I have some trouble in following all the aspect of it. I had almost the impression that this was a story inside a bigger contest, that some characters were already known to the authors and her readers and so she didn't present them. The good point is that, for being a BDSM story, it's very light on that side and so it could be right for a wider audience, also maybe someone who wants to have a taste on the theme, without going too deep into it.

Nick is a police officer in Chicago. When the story starts he is barely out of a forced leave due to an injury and he wants to come back work as soon as possible. But then he receives a phone call from home, a place he left months before: his former boyfriend and submissive, Tristan is missing. From Nick's reaction we understand that his feelings for Tristan are not vanished yet, and Nick runs back home. Shift in time: Nick is at Tristan's home and he was found chained in a cabin near home. Why and who did that is not clear, and Tristan doesn't remember anything. It was quite strange to not having any details in those days while Nick was searching for Tristan and the days of his recoveries, plus I would have liked to see Tristan's reaction to Nick coming back home. From what we can collect from conversation and personal brainstorming of the two men, Tristan and Nick didn't have a breakup since they were not good together but for different reasons and due to both men's insecurities.

Nick saw his parents marriage fails due to his mother's mental unsteadiness. Coupling this with his work, Nick wants a reliable partner by his side, someone who can stand the tension and the fear to be a policeman's partner. And Nick is also weary to express his feelings, in a way he is convinced he doesn't love anyone, but probably he doesn't want to love anyone since he is not ready to loose that one. Plus being a dominant lover, Nick tends to be overprotective of his partner without giving him any chance or info useful to understand Nick's actions. On the other hand Tristan is not the usual submissive; he has a business, he is independent, he likes to submit in bed but not in life. He is strong enough to be a policeman's partner, but Nick doesn't believe it. Plus Tristan doesn't pretend too much from a partner if not commitment, and those three words, I love you, that Nick never said.

So no, Nick and Tristan, even if good in bed, are not a perfect couple, at least not till they decide to put aside the too many unsaid "IFs" in their life to give a try to their love.

As I said, for a first time author, at least for me, I did find the story nice, but I wouldn't have minded some connection points between all the events, sometime I felt like I was lost in a labyrinth; most of the story is played inside the two men's mind and the events depend on their inner decision... that's right, it's as it should be, but the two men change idea soo often that also the story is sometime in a buzz: Nick does not love Tristan but cares for him, Tristan does not want Nick with him without commitment, Nick loves Tristan but will leave, Nick loves Tristan and will remain, Tristan loves Nick but will let him go, Tristan loves Nick and will let him stay... In a way maybe it's right like that, we are in the middle of the focal point of a love story, when all is unsteady and the result is still not very sure.

http://elisa-rolle.livejournal.com/811035.html
  elisa.rolle | Oct 8, 2009 |
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For Chel, Chris, Tim and Lynne for unfailing support. For Margaret for being the voice of reason.
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