Rachel Bertsche

Bertsche writes in a humorous and approachable style about her foray into friend-finding when she moves to Chicago to be with her fiance. Making new friends as an adult can be surprisingly difficult. Given how mobile our society is, it's surprising this topic doesn't get more attention. Bertsche brings it into the spotlight and decides to approach the situation by going out on 52 friend "dates" -- one date for each week during her first year in Chicago. She learns about herself and makes surprising connections (one of the people she best connects with is someone at a very different life stage than her). Her biggest lesson is that while the 52 "dates" might sound like a lot of work, she really needs to put herself out there in order to meet people. As someone who has moved frequently, I concur.… (mehr)

3.5 stars

The first half of this book was great - Bertsche's writing was simultaneously clever, funny, thought-provoking, and - most importantly - relatable. I identified with her insecurities, and found myself contemplating the various friendships in my life, and seeing why certain friends will never be my best friends (and that's okay). It was interesting.

There were various "research" bits thrown in, and she tried to tie them into her search, with mixed results. Often, it made the reading choppy, as her writing voice changed (from very personal/candid, to factual/boring). One fact I did find interesting was when she mentioned that Robin Dunbar, a British anthropologist, claims that humans can keep up a social network of roughly 150 people - which includes general acquaintances, good and best friends, and family. (p. 6)

The second half I was not so pleased with. In the beginning, Bertsche focused on her own lackings and mishaps in trying to make new friends, but at some point in her year-long "mission," she decides she's getting much better at the whole friending thing, and she becomes kind of a snob. In the beginning, she mentions incidents where people perceive her as "desperate" and "lonely," even though she's really not, and how it was so frustrating... then, another girl she meets later on shows a bit of desperation herself, and instead of understanding (she's been there!), Bertsche kind of rips her to shreds. Really?

In the first half, I found myself thinking I would love to know her in person. In the second half, I found myself thinking she's one of those girls... who obviously thinks she's better than everyone else... and that in real life, I would avoid her like the plague. The second half was also much more boring, as the various "dates" she went on started sounding more and more alike.… (mehr)

I was pretty invested in my desire to read this book - I told my husband, look she's just like me: married, recently moved to a new place, unable to make any close friends there, relying on long distance friendships and then she makes friends! I want to be like her!
And her self-description was so promising: we're both young professional bibliophiles, who like yoga and are Jewish with an affinity for people who share our curly hair. I wanted [a:Rachel Bertsche|4789751|Rachel Bertsche|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1314039364p2/4789751.jpg] to be my BFF and if not her, then I wanted her to share her secrets about how to make friends like her.

Unfortunately for me, the similarities between myself and Bertsche pretty much end in the one-liner. She's the sort of woman who only has female friends and uses terms like "Gay BFF" unironically and gets mani-pedis; I'm the sort of woman who uses terms like "heterosexism" and consider happy hours a sophisticated form of torture. Also, she gets a huge boost in her friend count from people she already knows in Chicago - friends of friends, coworkers, her husband's friends - and from people who read her newspaper article; not exactly strategies I can utilize.

So on that hand, a disappointment. On the other hand, her research on friendship is fascinating. I particularly was interested in the search for a definition of "best friend," the discussion of social role support and face-to-face versus side-to-side friendships.… (mehr)