Mohamed AR

There are novels that start with a bang, novels that are slow burning but get a conflagration going by the end, and those that never catch alight at all. One-third of the way through this fantasy there's disappointingly not much of a glow. There's very little action, and what action there is gets held up by too many words. The hero gets to do a lot of chuckling and exclaims "Wow!" from time to time and his dwarf companion "huffs" his way through conversations (both individuals do a lot of huffing, though whether from exasperation, tiredness or confusion is rarely clear). Nobody seems much concerned with the protagonist except when he draws attention to himself, but sadly, given his rather bland personality, this is not very surprising. In fact I'm not particularly drawn to the hero as first presented, who seems reactive except when being proactive means saying or doing something unexplained, almost out of character (such as a spot of cross-dressing, or telling a version of Aladdin).

The initial plot mechanisms seem a little derivative (there are echoes of Twain's Connecticut Yankee and Alice in Wonderland, for example, in the way that the protagonist arrives in his parallel world from a 21st-century US town) and, though I lived in expectations of a surprise twist, the mechanism and rationale of arriving in a parallel world is vague. Set in somewhere like Narnia or Middle Earth or the country of William Morris' The Well at World's End, the parallel world appears to be in something like the Middle or Dark Ages, though references to anachronistic items, such as sweaters, and roles, such as waiters in cafes, rather override this impression.

My final criticism is of those all too many wordy passages where a sense of incongruity is created by the strange misuse of words (for instance, "shined" instead of "shone" seems to crop up rather a lot), mock epic-language and pseudo-poetic phrases; whether this is deliberate or not I can't quite decide, but it makes for awkward reading, whether one is giving each word its due or simply trying to skim and scan the text.

However, as the story finally starts to take off in the second half of the book it's to some extent possible to overlook these stylistic faults as this reviewer at least begins to be intrigued by how the chained king of the book's title might be released and how the character who has bewitched him might get her come-uppance. The plot positively steams along with few of the longeurs that marked the first part of the story, and it starts to become clear that not only is all not quite what it seems but that there are some life-changing experiences and lessons going on for the main characters.

I sincerely hope that for the sequels the author manages to get his text properly vetted by a competent editor so that the ideas he clearly has no difficulties in generating are presented in a more polished literary style: it would be a shame if his imaginative efforts continued to be impeded by stylistic barriers. And the cover is quite impressive and atmospheric: an illustration that even reflects the storyline! The artist has evidently read and enjoyed the story. Sadly, enjoyment was what this reader was missing.… (mehr)

I wanted to like this. It's a lovely cover, and it sounds like a fun idea, but it is almost impossible to read. It comes off as what I have a hunch it is - a tale translated by an enthusiastic amateur from a language which has nothing in common with English. Word order is odd, and too many words are often thrown at a sentence, as if to see what sticks. And part of the problem is that everything sticks.

I'm not giving this a rating; I didn't get very far, and I can't judge whether the story deserves better. Pity.… (mehr)

Final say:
I hope this author gets a second chance and a good heavy-handed editor because there's something worth saving here.

Good stuff:
This portal fantasy follows the journey of a selfish young man who falls asleep in his normal everyday life and wakes up in a wondrous world where he undertakes a personality-changing quest. Some of the characters, props and situations are an obvious nod to Tolkien, but still retain a freshness. The concept and tale are unique, and some of the character transformations near the end of the book are brilliant. I would be glad to see some of these characters again in the next book of the series.

Not so good stuff:
But if the writing style doesn't change, I won't be reading it. This book is so awkwardly written that it's actually stressful to read after the first couple of pages. My immediate impression was that The Longed Tales was written first in another language and translated to English. Some of the descriptives and phrases, along with the internal culture and sensibilities of the characters, simply don't resonate with Western thought. That's usually not a problem if the writing is top notch...but in this case, it's bulky and confusing. The inner dialog of the characters and their rapid mood swings from one sentence to the next (and sometimes in the same sentence) made one wonder if they weren't all psychopaths or schizophrenics.

Better stuff:
That being said, the author definitely has talent as a creative storyteller but could use a really good editor or perhaps even a ghost writer. His main characters had surprising levels of complexity, as it turned out, and the fantasy world he conceptualized was lovely and brilliant. There's definitely more to this tale and I hope it doesn't get lost. There's a charm and wonder here that deserves better writing if this series is to have a wider audience.… (mehr)

The plot is quite interesting, it reminded me of my RPG days, Dungeons & Dragons or Baldur's Gate (for gamers). You have humans, dwarves, etc. So I thought I would read along and see if it lived up to my expectations.
The English language was good, although the narrative was a bit clumsy in places, slow or disconnected, as if each paragraph was written independently from the others, therefore making the text disconnected, rather than having a feeling of unity.
I have a problem with the main character and his point-of-view/characterisation: from the start, I am uneasy about the way he relates to others, as if he felt superior to other creatures (the encounter with the dwarf Grimdin is a prime example of what I mean - a paternalist attitude, perhaps?). The dwarf is treated no better than a child. Steven's language reflects that, it affected my reading and my perception of the story, and I am afraid that, while the plot is interesting, I cannot appreciate its main character, sorry!… (mehr)