Henry BeardRezensionen

Only needed some Larkin.

The concept was great, the execution not so much. Maybe partially due to the fact that it was written in the 70's...

A fun comedic alternative.

hardback

I believe that when I first encountered this book, it was about the time it was first published, in my mid-teens. At the time, I thought it was marvelously witty. Recently, I was given a copy as a gift on the occasion of the 68th birthday, and so had occasion to re-read it. Interestingly, I did not find it nearly as entertaining as I had remembered.

What I found is that the humor was crude and forced. I was also annoyed the same gags being constantly repeated. The names of places and characters from LOTR were parodied by long-defunct brand-names that sounded similar. The songs or poems from the original source material were especially laden with these, and the occasional bit of song or verse that Tolkien had rendered in one of his constructed languages (i.e., Quenya, Sindarin or the Black Speech of Mordor) were generally just strings of old brand-names. Example: "A Elbereth! Gilthoniel" in Bored of the Rings comes out as "A unicef clearasil". I thought this was quite overdone. It might have been amusing at first, but it went on for 160 pages.

Then there are the endless references to the meals that the adventurers make along the way. "After a hasty meal of frankincense and myrrh", "The company arose and, after a hurried breakfast of yaws and goiters", "an austere breakfast of eggs, waffles, bacon grapefruit, pancakes, hot oatmeal, fresh-squeezed orange juice, and goden cheese blintzes", "a frugal breakfast of loaves and fishes", "after a leisurely meal of apple cheeks and cauliflower ears", and more. It might have gotten a chuckle the first two or three times, but it went on throughout the book, and quickly became tiresome.

While I can't give high marks to this book on its own merits, I do find it interesting to see how my tastes in reading have changed over the years. Just to be clear, I can still appreciate a good parody, but I think that this book fails in that.

There were some amusing humorous definitions in this dictionary, but, one thing that was annoying was that for many terms, only the humorous definition was given. If the reader did not know what this term actually meant, they still didn't know what it meant, leaving the reader frustrated, having to Google the meaning. For example, Vermiculite's meaning is given as: 'Obscure order of nuns dedicated to gardening...'. It's actual meaning, after Googling, is: Vermiculite is a mineral that improves drainage and moisture retention in potting mixes.

To quote Miss Piggy..."you gotta to have hair to be great!" Soon to be 65 with full, thick head of brown hair with little to no grey!

Amusing. Unfortunately the author wandered so far from the plot of the book he was doing a parody of (The Da Vinci Code), after a while it wasn't as entertaining. Irreverent as well!

Cute. Having some exposure to Zen philosophy makes it more easily appreciated.

Not what I was expecting. I wanted some funny inside jokes for people who read the books. Instead, it used LOTR to poke fun at other things and made it obscene in the process. It wasn't even that funny, and I found it harder to follow than the original.

While I've seen the LOTR movies a few times and not yet read the books, some may say: the movies are no reference, so much is left out of the books, the books are better, etc... Yes, this may all be true and one day I WILL read them. Only not now. Anyway, after having read the dystopian stories Wool and Shift (both by Hugh Howey) - part 3, Dust, is due later this year (2013) - I was in dire need of something lighter, something funny, something I didn't have to take serious (by manner of speech) at all.

Back in April I bought the Cardboard Box Of The Rings, which also contains The Soddit and The Sellamillion, both of which I still have to read. But Bored Of The Rings was first, hence...

As the authors say, this is a parody, not the actual book(s). This is the LOTR trilogy compressed into roughly 230 pages, in which for obvious reasons a lot was left out. But the original story was also twisted and rewritten with a good lump of humour. Many of it being dry humour (in some places it's dryer and depending on the presentation/use or your mood, it works or it doesn't), but I very much like that.

The lads obviously also changed the names of Bilbo (Dildo), Sam (Spam), Frodo (Frito) and so on. They also nicely mixed contemporary elements with the setting of this well-known Fantasy story, from insurance salesmen over Republicans to certain board games and vegetables and even contracts. Hell, how the fellowship manages to eat diverse breakfasts, have all those different sorts of food and drinks with them... it must be magic. :-)

I would compare this book's humour to Monty Python meets Hot Shots meets Leslie Nielsen (The Naked Gun, Scary Movie 3, ...). Or in other words: very much recommended, even if you haven't read the original books (yet).

Need a way to insult someone in latin? This may be the book for you. Henry Beard gives you what you need from "your momma" lines to slogans. Amusing little book.

Every bit as cute as I remember!

this is the best book i've read since the rupaul book!!

Some facts but otherwise the rantings of a duffer.½

Featuring such classics as Rodin’s The Smooch and da Vinci’s Mona Moi, Miss Piggy’s Kermitage Collection, is truly full of wonders. Included in this book is a map of the entire museum and notes from Piggy herself on the various pieces. She even gives advice on how to collect truly great art.
This book is worth it for the art alone. Trust me on this. However, Miss Piggy’s descriptions of the artwork, and what is most important to her regarding art (if she’s in it or not, usually) is also incredibly entertaining.

This is truly the only self-help book you will ever need. The wonderful Miss Piggy gives advice on dinner parties, exercise, being a working woman, romance, and so much more. She puts her definitive Piggy spin upon all manner of questions and leaves the reader better for it.
For instance, she reminds the reader to be cautious when starting a new workout regimen. It’s far too easy to take on more than you can handle and overdo things, possibly even hurt yourself. Think about the daily little exercises you already do regularly and incorporate them into your tally of burned calories. She uses examples from her own life to demonstrate: “Walking from bedroom to closet and back to bedroom mirror to admire outfit (20 feet, 30 times per day = 600 feet)” which is 80 miles each year. Nothing to sniff at, I assure you.
One of her best dieting tips is never to eat anything that is too heavy to lift. I am only sharing these few tidbits with you, but you can be assured that the whole book is full of gold like this. One of my favorites, and something I intend to incorporate into my own parties, is her “Snacks of Many Nations” idea, where you order take out from several different places and guests can guess which course will arrive next.
This is the book you need, folks. You are living your life completely wrong if you are not following Miss Piggy’s guidelines. She includes helpful photos and charts, even cute little drawings. You may even spot a certain green frog in these pages. Don’t wait. Find your copy today!

This book takes the form of a normal phrasebook as intended for cats. Or at least what humans would expect a cat to say in various situations. It is a light and quick read and the French itself is accurte and useful, but knowing some French is useful, as a few of the "translations" are jokes in themselves.

Mon dieu! Un petit livre pour des chats! Maintenant il peut miauler en deux langues! Aucune paix pour l'homme.

This is such a cute children's Christmas book. It's a retelling of Twas The Night Before Christmas, but told from a cute dogs POV.

At the front of the parlor they'd set up a spruce-
A nice place to pee, though I doubt that's its use.
They laugh when they see me retrieving a stick,
Then they drag home a tree with a trunk a foot thick.

The illustrations are adorable and everyone, even adults, can enjoy the story. This is one we'll keep!

Vorrei regalare una copia di questo libro ad alcuni miei cari amici cosiddetti "latinisti" per far capire loro che anche il latino può avere un fine, per così dire "strumentale". Sentiamo spesso discutere dell'importanza dello studio del latino, a che serve e come deve essere studiato ed insegnato in un mondo quale quello di oggi. Un tempo "lingua franca" del mondo conosciuto allora, oggi continua ad essere più croce che delizia per chi è costretto a studiarlo contro voglia e anche male. Meno male che nel sistema scolastico moderno puoi decidere tu se averlo nel corso di studi intrapreso. Ai miei tempi non avevi alternative. Dovetti sorbirmelo a malincuore senza goderne dei vantaggi. Parlo del latino e penso a quel suo "compagno di banco", è il caso di dire, e mi riferisco al greco. Questa fu la vera bestia nera che soltanto di recente ho potuto domare, insieme al latino. Destino ha voluto che queste due antiche lingue "franche" fossero da me comprese e valutate soltanto attraverso il possesso, l'uso e l'impiego di quella moderna lingua franca che è l'inglese. Sarà pur vero che fu tutta colpa mia a non voler studiarle, ma credetemi, davvero non fui in grado di capire come. Nessun professore maschio o femmina che fosse riuscì a quei tempi a svelarmi il segreto di come studiare e perché. Questo libretto di cui sto scrivendo serve proprio a quello che dovrebbe fare la scuola per fare non dico amare ma almeno comprendere l'uso strumentale e poi culturale di queste due lingue sulle quali poggia tutta la cultura dell'occidente. Ho detto che regalerei volentieri ad amici grecisti e latinisti una copia, amici e colleghi come i prof. Alberto Mirabella, Pasquale Califano, Andrea Ricupito e tanti altri egregi latinisti moderni. Il fatto è che questi signori capirebbero ben poco di un libro del genere in quanto è scritto in ...inglese!!! E loro, l'inglese non l'hanno mai voluto studiare ...

Vorrei regalare una copia di questo libro ad alcuni miei cari amici cosiddetti "latinisti" per far capire loro che anche il latino può avere un fine, per così dire "strumentale". Sentiamo spesso discutere dell'importanza dello studio del latino, a che serve e come deve essere studiato ed insegnato in un mondo quale quello di oggi. Un tempo "lingua franca" del mondo conosciuto allora, oggi continua ad essere più croce che delizia per chi è costretto a studiarlo contro voglia e anche male. Meno male che nel sistema scolastico moderno puoi decidere tu se averlo nel corso di studi intrapreso. Ai miei tempi non avevi alternative. Dovetti sorbirmelo a malincuore senza goderne dei vantaggi. Parlo del latino e penso a quel suo "compagno di banco", è il caso di dire, e mi riferisco al greco. Questa fu la vera bestia nera che soltanto di recente ho potuto domare, insieme al latino. Destino ha voluto che queste due antiche lingue "franche" fossero da me comprese e valutate soltanto attraverso il possesso, l'uso e l'impiego di quella moderna lingua franca che è l'inglese. Sarà pur vero che fu tutta colpa mia a non voler studiarle, ma credetemi, davvero non fui in grado di capire come. Nessun professore maschio o femmina che fosse riuscì a quei tempi a svelarmi il segreto di come studiare e perché. Questo libretto di cui sto scrivendo serve proprio a quello che dovrebbe fare la scuola per fare non dico amare ma almeno comprendere l'uso strumentale e poi culturale di queste due lingue sulle quali poggia tutta la cultura dell'occidente. Ho detto che regalerei volentieri ad amici grecisti e latinisti una copia, amici e colleghi come i prof. Alberto Mirabella, Pasquale Califano, Andrea Ricupito e tanti altri egregi latinisti moderni. Il fatto è che questi signori capirebbero ben poco di un libro del genere in quanto è scritto in ...inglese!!! E loro, l'inglese non l'hanno mai voluto studiare ...

Enlightening

Having read them all, my favourite is unequivocally The End of the Raven by Poe's cat. A close second is Hamlet's Cat's Soliloquy by Shakespeare's Cat. Is it wrong that I now have a better understanding of Hamlet's soliloquy after reading his cat's? Don't answer that. But I can see educational value in using poems like these to hook young adults who need to read the originals in high school.

If you're a cat lover, this one is fun and well-written.

Sometimes this book reminded me of Monty Python. If you're in the right mood, it's brilliantly funny. And it's got more than it's fair share of immature potty-mouth humor and sexual innuendoes. However, the real humor kept me laughing out loud. I really enjoyed learning all the new names—Spam, Goodgulf Greyteeth, Sorhead, Stomper, and ballhog were some of my favorites.

I felt a little bit like a heretic reading this parody, though. It is just sacrilegious to see such honorable and courageous characters be reduced to such mockery. But then again, it takes a true Lord of the Rings fan to be able to enjoy this book.½

Read for Fun (Hardcover)
Overall Rating: 5.00

Read It, Rate It Thoughts: Miss Piggy's Guide to Life was my favorite book as an awkward girl who never quite fit in. I bought myself a copy recently (even though I don't have kids) and reread it during #readathonkids hour for Deweys. Totally enjoyed it and the advice is still relevant today :)

Part of my Read It, Rate It, File It, DONE! Reviews