Bobi Conn

Someplace Like Home by Bobi Conn is a highly recommended domestic drama set in the foothills of the Appalachian mountains of eastern Kentucky. It is a powerful fictionalized account of the lives of Conn's grandmother and mother and is about abusive relationships in isolated environments.

Jenny Caudill grew up in a strict home where her parents, especially her mother, laid down the law. Her parents had worked hard to stretch every dollar for a home and garage/barn where her father worked on cars for a living. As the youngest of four sisters, with one younger brother, she wore hand-me-downs. Everyone was expected to follow the rules and be home before dark. Jenny was ignored by boys until Rob Lewis laid eyes on her and began coming to her house and paying attention to her. Ignoring her mother's harsh warnings, Jenny continues to see Rob which results in a marriage of violence and substance abuse.

The narrative is divided into three sections. Part one is Jenny's childhood, part two is after Jenny and Rob are married, and the final part is from the point-of-view of Charlie, Jenny's daughter. The majority of the story is through Jenny's point-of-view and she is a sympathetic character. It should be noted that there are very descriptive scenes of control and abuse. It will be difficult for many to understand the all-too-real dilemma of why family didn't step forward to help her and the hopelessness of why she put up with the violence once she had children to protect.

The writing is excellent and Conn does a great job capturing the time, place, and setting. She depicts the lack of real choices and opportunities available in the area which left many open to abuse, trauma, addiction, and despondency. It would have been satisfying if more emotional healing from all of their trauma was covered. This would be a great book club choice, especially for the discussions on the role of location, limited choices, and isolation in circumstances of trauma and abuse. Thanks to Little A for providing me with an advance reader's copy via NetGalley. My review is voluntary and expresses my honest opinion.
http://www.shetreadssoftly.com/2024/05/someplace-like-home.html… (mehr)

Compelling, gripping, & heartbreaking. This is one of those books I couldn’t put down.

I’m in awe of the author’s overcoming of everything that happened to her. I found myself facepalming over the bad decisions she continually made in her teenage/young adult years, but I think she did a great job of explaining her perspective. That sometimes people simply react in ways due to unwritten rules of conduct expected, any & every form of abuse, & by what they’ve seen as examples. Where, before this book, I would’ve had less sympathy for “bad decisions” I see others making, now I feel like I have a better understanding of where someone may be coming from. A mark of a good story is how it affects the reader’s perspective & this has succeeded.

The book skips back & forth a bit & there are several things left out or glossed over that I wish she had fleshed out more. Overall, an excellent story.… (mehr)

Appalachia has long been an economically depressed region, and its social conditions are just as harsh. Bobi Conn’s story fully evokes these sentiments in readers’ hearts. She was raised in extremely oppressive circumstances (drugs; physical, sexual, and verbal abuse; limited opportunities). However, she learned to pour herself into reading and writing, and these activities allowed her to build a semblance of a good life. Nonetheless, she still grieves over the people – family, relationships, and friendships – she has left behind.

This story is how her persistent pursuit of something better saved Conn from a dead-end life. Full of struggle, Conn’s story relates how continual effort and creative reinvention can slowly and ineluctably bring one out of horrible circumstances. Conn never has one “got-it” moment. Instead, she slowly crafts a life of independence amidst utter loneliness.

There isn’t a lot of hope and resolution to the beginning or middle of this story. Only in the final few chapters are these themes conveyed. In many ways, this is a story of life throwing the worst of itself at one person, and that person shakes it off and moves on to a better tomorrow. Readers of A Hillbilly Elegy will find common ground in this saga; at first glance, however, Conn’s experiences seem even darker than those in the Elegy.

The sorrow in this story can get repetitive at times, but this being a memoir, the reader is reminded that this tale is true. The boredom in repetitive horrors was felt by the author in real life. That realization evokes compassion. This story is not for the faint of heart, nor is it for those looking for a feel-good narrative. The sad facts of Appalachia – a culture that demeans women, limited economic opportunities, ubiquitous drug use – pervade every aspect of this reflective piece.

I don’t think it’s fair to call Conn’s story “a triumph of the American spirit.” There is too much tragedy, too much suffering, and too much defeat. Nonetheless, her tale of persistence and determination cannot but draw out a degree of admiration in a sensitive reader. She persisted, and she persisted, and she persisted. She did not give up and give into the dark night. That story is the essence of this memoir’s legacy, and the compassionate reader will find her/his emotions stretched in trying to understand how to relate to Conn. The temptation to despair is always there for both author and reader but never taken. Her story teaches us how we can better relate to our fellow human beings in the worst of circumstances.… (mehr)

So, wow. This book packs one hell of an emotional punch.

Bobi Conn writes with an intimacy and raw honesty that I felt to my core. She's unflinchingly honest about her upbringing and the way those early years chased her through adulthood. I have immense respect both for her writing skills and for her willingness to lay it all out for us to see.

Appalachia comes alive on these pages, with its isolation, beauty, poverty, and unique culture. My heart broke for Bobi as a child, but also for the adults so completely trapped by their circumstances.

We humans are all too quick to judge those we consider "other," simply because we don't understand them. With this book, Conn lets us step inside a culture that has been closed off for most of us, and in doing so she shows us the humanity behind the stereotype.… (mehr)