Paul T. Coughlin

I had this on Kindle and finally got around to reading it. Paul Coughlin is a local Christian writer and runs a non-profit addressing the problem of bullies. This book was written about a decade ago and is his encouragement for Christian men to stop being so passive, and to become courageous, good and assertive.

I would say for the most part this book is great; however about 20% of the book is Coughlin's critique on how the feminist movement has eroded our understanding of what it means to be a man. He sees other root causes for the Christian Nice Guy (CNG), such as a feminized, meek and mild picture of Jesus, and how (he personally but others) have had their masculinity damaged through abuse. The advice he dispenses, about being assertive and not ruled by fear, applies to both males and females and I disagree with some of his analysis, mostly because painting the 'meek' image of Jesus as girly (or as he says in a chapter title, a bearded lady), demeans women. Passive nice ladies are not exactly praised in Scripture, where as assertive, strong women are (i.e. the bleeding woman, Mary and Martha, Jesus' mother Mary at the Wedding of Cana, the Syropoenician woman, etc). I don't blame feminists for eroding manhood, but praise them for helping women recover their strength. Coughlin does write a No More Christian Nice Girl book as well, where presumably he packages this same advice for women.

But on the level of 'advice,' I think Coughlin is spot-on. Niceness is pretty detrimental to men's lives. Passivity is a failure to be truly good and I can recognize patterns of behavior and places where I personally be more assertive. So I appreciate his message.… (mehr)