Judith GuestRezensionen

A profoundly moving, thoughtful book, Ordinary People takes a brutally close look at the dynamics of a family coping with the loss of a child. Conrad, the surviving child, struggles with his guilt and pain by attempting suicide and has just been released from a mental hospital. Calvin, the father, feels as if he has let down both his sons and suddenly feels uncertain, reeling from the fact that he could not protect his family. Finally, Beth, the mother, comes across as cold and aloof to her family and struggles to discover that not everything can be perfect and controlled.

Richly drawn, each of the characters feels real and three-dimensional. Conrad is, by turn, a typical, sarcastic teenager, a kid wracked with guilt over his brother's death, and a little boy who doesn't know where to go from here. His grief can be heartbreaking to read, but his desperate attempts to hide it are even more so.

The true stand-out, however, is the mother. Beth is a mystery. While Guest often allows us into Cal's and Conrad's minds, we never see Beth's thoughts; only the perceptions are filtered through others' eyes. Much of what she does is up to interpretation: is she truly cold and emotionally unavailable? Or is she simply coping with her loss by trying to ignore it?

If you have ever seen the equally astounding film directed by Robert Redford and starring Timothy Hutton, then you'll find that the screenplay was remarkably faithful to the book; however, the book has slightly more nuances about Beth's character.

I am not usually a fan of dramas, but this is one of the most fascinating, often painful, books I have ever.

I wish I had the skill to truly analyze what makes the difference between a book where the author tries to manipulate the reader’s emotions and only gets an “hmm how sad” from me, or worse, eyerolls, and a book that has me glued to the pages and leaking tears. All I know is that this is one of the latter.

In spite of a story that is almost all character, with almost all events taking place within those characters’ thoughts and emotions and in their interactions with one another, and in spite of a present-tense, stream of consciousness writing style that might have annoyed me in another author’s hands, this story of a family fragmenting and reforming in the aftermath of tragedy absorbed me completely and wrung my emotions inside out. It’s been a while since I had a good cry over a book, and it was deeply satisfying.

Vintage paperback, picked up from my public library’s gimme shelves, where they make unusable donated books and culled books available to the public in return for a suggested monetary donation.

I read this for The 16 Tasks of the Festive Season, square 4: Book themes for Penance Day: Read a book that has a monk, nun, pastor / preacher or priest as a protagonist, or where someone is struggling with feelings of guilt or with their conscience (regardless over what). In this book, members of a family are struggling with their sense of guilt or failed responsibility in the aftermath of tragedy (Con over surviving when his stronger brother drowned and Cal over somehow failing his son when he attempted suicide).

Nick returns to his small home town 12 years after leaving under a cloud, and soon two deaths have an effect on the many interrelated families.[return][return]I don't know whether it was me and the way I read it or the way that the book was written (two writers, and stories being told from multiple standpoints, which can or cant work depending), I felt this book was quite disjointed and I dont feel I got engaged fully with it.[return][return]Overall the story was good though

this is a really nice look at what seems to be a typical wealthy american family. from the outside, they seem to be "ordinary people" but a lot is going on inside the family that others can't see. it's really kind of a meditation on grief and living after devastating loss, and the different ways different people handle that and cope with it. the style can be a bit tough, as it's told from the perspective of both conrad (the son) and cal (the father) and it goes back and forth between them in a way that is kind of jarring. con's sections are often a little hard to follow, as well, because he is going through a mental health crisis and the writing can feel unmoored. this reflects what's going on with him, though, so it makes sense.

i liked this and found myself very much within the story. the only real complaint i have is the way the therapist spoke with conrad. he never would have said some of the things he said (that he thought of con as a friend, for example) and in a book where everything else felt very real, this took me out of the story a couple of times. otherwise, very nicely done.

It was depressing but probably good at the time it was written. It's a book club book for March 2017 by Karen gentry

Cal and Beth Jarrett are the All-American dream couple. With successful careers and two outstanding teen sons, the Jarretts are comfortable in their lives. Unfortunately, life can change in an instant. After a tragedy leaves the family with only one son, the Jarretts must learn to move forward, but how? The loss of their oldest, Buck, is too much for them to process as each turns inwards.

Without the support and attention of his parents, Conrad, the remaining son, attempts to take his life. The aftermath of this second tragedy is an even bigger struggle for Cal and Beth as they continue to deal with the loss of Buck. As Conrad returns to high school and tries to navigate his classes, Cal & Beth are at odds with how to help. Will they be able to find the support they need to heal as a family or will the aftermath of tragedy be too much for the Jarretts? Whether you are reading this book for the first time or the tenth time, the ending will haunt you.

The Bottom Line: Although first published in 1976, this novel still deserves a place on your bookshelf. It's a quick read that immediately connects and stays with the reader. Guest has an innate understanding of the internal dialogue people experience when faced with personal loss, grief, and depression. Each character expresses their grief differently, and Guest did a superb job tackling a tough subject. Highly recommended for teen, new adult, and adult readers. This novel would be perfect for discussion groups. Additionally, this book was made into a movie with a stellar cast you won't want to miss.

This review also appears at the Mini Book Bytes Book Review Blog.

Cal and Beth Jarrett are an ordinary couple raising two children. One son drowned while sailing a boat with his brother. The other son, Conrad, overcome with grief and guilt in the wake of his brother's death, attempts suicide. When the story begins, we realize that Conrad had spent time in a mental health facility, and now his parents' lives feel anything but ordinary.

Judith Guest develops relatable characters who convey so many human emotions and force us to examine relationships. The traumatic events exacerbate marital issues between Cal and Beth. Beth resents Cal's openness about Conrad's mental health issues, and both of their backstories help us understand their personalities and ability to heal and accept new challenges.

Many themes relating to the human condition and life's unwritten rules. The one that stands out most for me is "if you can't feel pain, you can't feel life." One of my favorite characters is Berger, a psychiatrist Conrad sees in Chicago's "bad section." He bonds with Conrad in a seemingly nonclinical way. He uses ordinary language, no psychobabble, and helps destigmatize mental illness by showing how ordinary a conversation between therapist and client can be.

Other memorable concepts expressed through the novel's characters include:
There's no sense taking questions seriously if there are no answers.
Words can lie, but body language doesn't lie.
Apologies are tough.
Overprotective and obsessed are challenging to define. Both are situational.
Nobody is normal.
Nobody sees things except in a way that they are affected.
See all my reviews at https://quipsandquotes.net/

A poignant story of Conrad, a teen who was institutionalized after he tried to kill himself following the accidental drowning of his older brother. Upon his release, Conrad was always uneasy with his parents and his friends. Conrad's father also secretly attempted suicide. Conrad goes through several years of counseling, but seems to recover. Family life did not get any better as Conrad's parents finally separate. I think this would be a good book for teens or somebody who lost a sibling or parent as a young person. I found the book a tad juvenile.½

When real tragedy happens in a family that is centered on a surface perfections it sets off a slow avalanche which strips illusions and shatters identities. The reader enters the story after the main events to see where the pieces fall.

https://nwhyte.livejournal.com/3509766.html

As is often the case, I liked the book more than the film, but not a lot more. We get a lot more detail about the early life of Calvin, the father, who turns out to have been an orphan (mentioned only in passing in the film) which certainly gives him more depth and perhaps gives him more resources to deal with tragedy than Beth has. Jeannine is a more complete character (and she and Conrad have discreetly narrated sex in the last chapter). Beth herself remains unsatisfactory.

Last time I read this book I must've been in high school. I remembered some of it, but most of the nuances and details had been forgotten- or had simply gone unnoticed by me at the time. I did remember it was about this kid struggling after the death of his older brother, how awkward family friends were about it, how unspoken most of the emotional burden he faced daily, how his parents were drifting apart under the strain.

I'd forgotten that part of it is told from the father's viewpoint, but the mother is always described in third person. She seems cold, sometimes indifferent, accuses the dad of being overly concerned and too involved with his now-only son. The kid- Conrad- is repeating his junior year of high school while all his friends are now seniors. He became severely depressed after loosing his brother- in what sounds like a very frightening, traumatic incident (when it's finally revealed at the end of the story) made a suicide attempt, and spent time in a mental institution. Very little is described of that, but what is firmly shows how old this book is- the diagnosis is clear yet he's given no medication although several times a teacher or friend of the parents asks if he'd been put on tranqilizers. Nope, there's just mention that he received shock treatment, and when he comes home it's left up to him to take initiative to call a psychologist and go to appointments of his own accord. I found that surprising, honestly.

What did feel very real and relevant no matter what the timeframe of this story- was how people struggled to know how to relate to Conrad now that he's home again. Things are the same- but also very different. Friends are awkward. He tries to meet and talk with a girl he knew in the hospital- there were quite good friends there- and that doesn't go so well. He tries daily to beat down the anxiety in his head, to find the motivation to do normal everyday tasks, to focus in school. The therapist is odd and eccentric, but aside from that very good at his job as far as I could tell. I remembered from this part of the book the dramatic scenes when Conrad went in there upset and there was a lot of yelling- but during this read I noticed all the moments of careful guidance, of sound advice that wasn't too preachy, of how he helped Conrad figure out what he wanted to do and how to build himself up again as it were. And finally, in the end, to actually face the emotional turmoil he'd shoved down inside surrounding the incident with his brother. There's also some very nice parts about him facing down kids at school who are unkind, standing up for himself when he realizes being on a sports team isn't what he wants, finding a few new friends and even getting brave enough to ask out a girl he admires.

It doesn't have a perfect, happy ending. It's a normal family with some heartbreaking difficulties, and they don't come through it all in one piece. Some things are better, some are not. The realism of that is what makes this book such a strong read. (I was terribly bored with all the mention of golf, though).

from the Dogear Diary

This book approaches a crisis in a family from a number of different points of view. At first, there seems to be nothing wrong, but as you go on they keep mentioning the hospital stay. The boy missed some school and was thus held back. There is an enormous elephant in the room and it has to be dealt with by each character.

The book is good enough to draw you in, and apparently, it was turned into a movie back in the 1980s but I never watched it. Rather, I had never heard of it. Some people can talk about hearing the characters speak in the voices of the actors, but I have no such advantage. So it becomes slightly boring to me, especially when they keep beating around the bush with their issues.

In a sense, the title is quite appropriate. These are all just people living their lives and dealing with things. I guess it is a relief that I took this book out of the library rather than buying it.

This book was one of those "multiple copies at the used-book store, so it's either great or terrible" chances. On the one hand, a bigger chance than usual: that bland, uninformative cover wouldn't pass muster today (yet I like it now that I've read the book). On the other hand, it shouldn't be a chance at all: the accolades all over the front and back promise this to be a novel I'll "rejoice" over, "a writer's novel, a reader's novel, a critic's novel," and of course the highbrow-wannabe in me couldn't say no to that. Not for a dollar, anyway. I went into this expecting a literary grandmother of Anna Quindlen; happily, that's what I got. ORDINARY PEOPLE is indeed about its titular cast, and the stakes of the novel are personal/internal stakes. The perspective alternates between Cal Jarrett, a successful tax attorney, and his son Conrad, eighteen years old and recently come home from a mental hospital. The reader soon discovers that Cal and his wife Beth "had two sons, but now they have one." What happened to their other son, Buck, is of course revealed bit-by-bit throughout the story.

The author's voice took some time to immerse in, but there's something almost hypnotic about the stream-of-consciousness style. (And I was not expecting present tense from a novel published in 1976. Interesting.) Cal frustrates me to no end, but Conrad makes me root for him. Some of the book's best scenes feature Con and his therapist Berger, as together they unravel what led to Con's suicide attempt and how he can heal. Beth, too, is an interesting character, especially as we only get to see her through her husband's and son's eyes.

This is a thoughtful, quiet, probing novel about things that have been explored since fiction began (living and surviving, guilt and innocence, facades and true selves). It took me a while to get through, partly because it's not about plot escalation--or escalation at all, really. It's about living life every day, even when only surviving is easier. I'm glad I took the time for this book. (Now to watch the film.)

1976 book for my birthday challenge reading. I saw the very excellent movie a few years ago, and it was hard not to insert the movie characters into the book characters -- and the movie (as I recall it) was mostly true to the book. I felt, however, that Beth (Conrad's mother) was more enigmatic and complex in this novel. A very good telling of a family suffering from the loss of Conrad's brother and Conrad's subsequent emotional issues afterwards. I can see why it was a best-seller back in 1976; I wonder whether it is still widely-read today -- if not, it should be.

The story kept me interested but I felt something was missing. Didn't feel like I knew the characters very well. I thought the chapter in the middle of the book, in the voice of one of the murdered children was oddly placed. I thought, " where did this come from? It was trying to give us hints but confusing hints. Felt the same way about who was found to be the murderer--"where did this come from?"

I really liked this book. Probably not surprising, it is billed as "one of the great bestsellers of our time" right on the cover. However, it was surprising to me to not be confronted with the wholesale emotional ride which, I have to admit, I expected. There's a rich depth to the emotional and mental wells of Guest's characters. They're believable, relatable, and stirring.

Wow. I really don't know what to say about this book. I didn't expect it to be powerful. I didn't expect it to address depression in such a realistic way. I didn't expect it to delve into how complicated being a family can be. It's just a true, heartfelt book, to the point that I didn't even mind the sometimes-difficult-to-follow writing style so much.½

Although it could be better, good story.

I choose this book because of a description of it that I read before and the font in the cover seemed interesting. The Jarrets, a common American family. Conrad is the youngest child, Beth a complex woman and mother, Calvin a successful lawyer, and Buck the oldest son, but now he is not more than a memory in thee Jarret’s hearths. As a family they will have to go through the pain of losing a loved one. Almost two. Beth can’t forgive Conrad for what he did, he attempted to commit suicide. And Calvin can’t stop thinking it is his fault, both kid’s incident. All that brings trouble to the family. It is absolutely a good book, but it can be really boring. Some ages wouldn’t understand what the characters are doing and saying. It is probably not my style of book.½

A deeply moving, thoughtful book, Ordinary People takes a brutally close look at the dynamics of a family coping with the loss of a child. Conrad, the surviving child, struggles with his own guilt and pain by attempting suicide and has just been released from a mental hospital. Calvin, the father, feels as if he has let down both his sons and suddenly feels uncertain, reeling from the fact that he could not protect his own family. Finally, there is Beth, the mother, who comes across as cold and aloof to even her own family, and struggles with finding out that not everything in the world can be perfect and controlled.

Richly drawn, each of the characters feels real and three-dimensional. Conrad is by turns a normal, sarcastic teenager, a kid wracked with guilt over his brother's death, and a little boy who doesn't know where to go from here. His grief can be heartbreaking to read, but his desperate attempts to hide it are even more so.

The true stand-out, however, is the mother. Beth is a mystery. While Guest often allows us into Cal's and Conrad's minds, we never see Beth's thoughts, only the perceptions filtered through others' eyes. Much of what she does is up to interpretation: is she truly cold and emotionally unavailable? Or is she simply coping with her loss by trying to ignore it?

If you have ever seen the equally astounding film directed by Robert Redford and starring Timothy Hutton, then you'll find that the screenplay was remarkably faithful to the book; however, I would argue that the book has slightly more nuances with regard to Beth's character.

I am not normally a fan of dramas, but this is one of the most engrossing, oftentimes painful, books I have ever read.

Judith Guest hit the jackpot with this book, her first novel. It was rejected by multiple publishers, and finally accepted by Viking Press (the first time in a quarter century) that the publisher had published an unsolicited work). The book went on to sell more than a half million copies, and to win a prestigious literary prize. It also became the basis for a highly- regarded film (1980), directed by Robert Redford.

I read Ordinary People because I was curious about the book behind the movie. I found it to be an absorbing, sensitive story. It involves an American family from Lake Forest Illinois, who had lost their eldest son (Buck) through a boating accident a year earlier. Consumed with depression and guilt, his brother Conrad had attempted suicide 6 months before the opening of the story. The plot traces the efforts of Conrad and his parents to deal emotionally with the tragedy and its aftermath. The unforgettable scenes between Conrad and his mother (Beth) (and between Beth and Conrad's father) are painful to read, but all- too real. The story moves to a conclusion that, while not entirely unexpected, brings a degree of closure, at least for those of the family who can accept the grief and move beyond it.

Ms. Guest is especially good at capturing the dynamics of conflict in a family where communication is limited and feelings (guilt, grief, resentment) are too dangerous to acknowledge. While I consider the book to be quite good, the film is even better. In fact, despite having seen the movie many years ago, I found it so powerful that images from it kept flashing before me as I read the book. If you have the choice, read the book before seeing the movie.

This was such an unassuming little volume I didn't have many expectations going in, but if anything the shortness of the book only amplified its emotional impact. The cast is a family of 3 who lost their eldest teenage son about 18 months prior and whose youngest son has just been released from the psychiatric inpatient facility he'd been living in following a suicide attempt; chapters alternate between the son's narration and the father's (and interestingly, despite the fact that we only "see" her through her male relatives' eyes, the mother is one of the more compelling and complex characters of the bunch).

I'm a sucker for that Good Will Hunting type "eccentric therapist helps young person through grief" trope anyway, so I probably would have enjoyed this even if it were trite and cliched - it isn't though.

The theme of dealing with loss makes this book timeless. At times a bit morbid, but no overly so and anyway what to do you expect, given the subject matter. The prose is compact and on target.

Somewhere along the highway, just past the small farming community of Au Gres, Michigan, the Browner family is on their way to take a vacation. This has been their routine for the past six years, and they know it like the back seat of their family's old station wagon. Just north of Bay City, Michigan, taking the highway past Au Gres, leads to a stunning view of Lake Huron.

Keith, Annie, and their three children have rented the same cottage here every summer for the past six years. However, a shadow has fallen over this particular trip; Keith has recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. While this is a diagnosis that Keith has accepted as his fate, Annie steadfastly refuses to accept what is an inevitable conclusion. She honestly cannot accept that their lives together are coming to such an abrupt end; she absolutely will not accept such a fate.

Annie's once stable, secure and blissfully happy marriage to Keith soon comes to an end after seventeen years together. After his death, Annie finds her entire world turned completely upside down. Her three children have inexplicably become sources of nagging frustration for her. Consumed with her grief, struggling against mounting bills, and facing an onslaught of once-simple everyday tasks that now seem insurmountable, Annie fails to comprehend that her family is actually beginning to come apart.

Annie's sister, Jess, does her best to comfort her, yet she has also begun to realize that the boundaries of their own close relationship are being stretched to their limits. Annie's three children are also dealing with their father's loss in their own ways; whether for good or ill. Thirteen-year-old Harry, the eldest of the Browner children, has slipped into a strange new attitude, brooding and angry, roaming the streets with a rebellious new friend. Julie, the youngest child at nine, starts to lie about her whereabouts, although she keeps a secret journal that reveals her true feelings.

Jimmy, forever sandwiched in the middle at eleven-years-old, has always been the peacemaker of the family. It is a role that he can no longer stand for himself, as the pressure of such a placement is becoming so much more overwhelming for the child. As each child moves toward his or her own level of acceptance, a second threatening life event will transform the children as well as Annie herself - teaching them all that, even with the devastating loss of Keith, they are still a family - albeit a different family, yet one which is no less loving, real, and enduring than they had been with him as their husband and father.

I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. In my opinion, it is a touching and poignant story that really drew me into its flow and pace. This was such a well-developed plot, peopled with a variety of intriguing characters and an excellent storyline. I give this book a definite A+!

Loosely based on the 1968 murder of a family of six where the killer closed the drapes, locked the doors and just walked away, the community of Blessed, Michigan is shattered by the murder of the Norbois family. The questions and secrets swirl around this case and the clues and revelations come thick and fast for the police. I liked this book very much and give it an A+!

The Jarrets are just a typical American family. Forty-one year old Cal is the loving husband and father - a determined, successful provider for himself and his family. Thirty-nine year old Beth cherishes her husband and family; organized and efficient, Beth is the backbone of the family. Cal and Beth have two wonderful sons: Eighteen-year-old Jordan - nicknamed Buck - is an extrovert and the perpetual risk-taker in the family. Seventeen-year-old Conrad is the introvert of the family; he is more focused on his future - highly studious, yet extremely shy and reserved.

To all their friends and acquaintances, the Jarrett family is the epitome of perfection. Cal and Beth have a marriage to envy, they are living the type of life that all their friends aspire to lead as well. Buck and Conrad are the type of sons that any parent would be proud to have; two fine, upstanding young men who each have such a bright, promising future ahead of them. Then, tragedy strikes...

When Buck drowns in a boating accident, Cal, Beth and Conrad are left utterly devastated. Cal and Beth's combined grief threatens to overwhelm them both, and Conrad's own feelings of grief and guilt over his older brother's death are practically immeasurable. His growing misperception of his inability to save Buck's life, leads Conrad to do something desperate and suicidal. Ultimately, will the Jarretts be able to grieve the loss of their eldest son, help their younger son cope with his guilt, and heal their own relationship?

I must say that I absolutely loved reading this book. I found that this was a poignant and well-written story; an intriguing look at the dynamics of a grieving family. This is a moving and memorable portrait of each family member's personal, emotional and intensely private journey toward healing and acceptance. I would give this book an A+!