Sofie Hagen

Best for:
Anyone who is familiar with Hagen’s work; anyone who is themselves pondering the quality of their sex life.

In a nutshell:
Author Hagen explores their history of gender identity and sexuality against the backdrop of not having had sex in many years.

Worth quoting:
I listened to Hagen read the book and know that I found a few lines noteworthy but didn’t end up writing any down.

Why I chose it:
I enjoyed Hagen’s first book Happy Fat and wanted to support their next one.

Review:
What do you know about sex? Like, good sex? If you are a straight person, do you know anything beyond the sort of standard expectations we see in media? How do you view sex and sexuality? How do you view yourself in sexual situations? How do you relate to others sexually?

Hagen (who is non-binary and prefers they/them pronouns) talks through these topics in various ways in their book where they explore why they haven’t had sex in years. It’s not a book about chosen celibacy - they want to have sex. But as they explore their own gender identity and sexuality, they discover that maybe they have some things to work through themselves.

And they spend the book asking questions of experts and it is fascinating to read. They talk to a porn actor, a flirtologist, and put out a call for comment from people that resulted in 1800 responses. They learn to think about what they actually want in a sexual partner, and what those experiences should be like - the safety, the consideration.

The book also spends time looking into Hagen’s past relationships, including a couple that are not great emotionally, which people might find helpful as they think about what they want and need and expect in relationships.

This is an interesting read. I’m not quite sure what I expected but it probably wasn’t this. That isn’t to say it’s bad at all - just different.

What’s next for this book:
Might recommend it to other folks.… (mehr)

Best for:
Anyone who has been exposed to fatphobia (e.g. all of us) and who wants to work on unlearning it, via book with a lot of heart but also a lot of humor.

In a nutshell:
Comedian Sofie Hagen is a fat woman working to help other fat people to love themselves while also targeting the reasons why fat people might not love themselves: the gross fat bigotry that is evident pretty much everywhere one looks.

Worth quoting:
There are a lot, but because I listened to the audio book while out and about I didn’t write them down. One of the downsides of audio non-fiction for me.

Why I chose it:
I have an Audible UK subscription and this was one of the suggestions.

Review:
I love a humorous memoir. It’s one of my favorite genres of books, but I also can find it a bit challenging to review. Especially this one, which is mixed in with a lot more activism and education than the typical memoir. But let’s give it a go!

Sofie Hagen is a comedian, and she is fat. And she has learned to love herself in a world that tells people that there’s something wrong with being fat. However, as others in fat activism spaces have also pointed out, yes, loving one’s self is good, but the problem is with society, not individuals. Loving one’s self does not make airplane seats accommodating, or clothing options magically appears in physical stores. Accepting and appreciating one’s size does not stop other people from being assholes to you.

There is so much to like in this book, but one part I especially enjoyed were her interviews with other fat activists with different perspectives from her own. She interviews fat Black people, disabled fat people, and others, and she has them record their own part of the interview, so we get to hear their voices. That’s pretty cool.

I found myself laughing out loud many times, but was also drawn into Hagen’s overall personality and the joy that comes through as she tells her story. I could see myself listening to this again, because I think there’s a lot here that I want to properly take in and think about.

Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
Recommend… (mehr)

A social commentary on overemphasis of looks and weight and thriving fatfobia. The writer is a comedian but I didn't really find the book funny. This book is important and supportive, and even though skinny people probably won't read it it does have some good points. Hovever, I find it a bit strange that while demanding the right to have pizza for breakfast Hagen also claims that no one likes kale and dark chocolate tastes like dirt. I would hope anyone who roots for personal choice would truly give that same choice for anyone, even if it is something that happens to be healthy.
All in all, I did not find the book very interesting, there were good bits here and there but a lot of editing could have been done.… (mehr)