Stacy Pershall

I came across this book on Audible, which is fortunate because my brain is too addled these days to concentrate on the written word for anything longer than a couple of pages. Living with BPD for sixty years, with a relentless turnover of medications and numerous breakdowns has seen to that. Yet, as Stacy writes, stories are such an important part of life and recovery. So I persevere.

Stacy really spoke straight to my heart. I’m not like her. Borderlines come in all shapes and sizes, and whilst we may have some symptomology in common we are as diverse as the stars. Like Stacy, I was always ‘different’, socially awkward, and too emotionally intense. Had I had the opportunity, I too would have explored literature and art when I was young, but was instead directed towards engineering and eventually management. I never had an eating disorder though - my Achilles heel was alcohol and sex as a means of coping, or more accurately not coping, with intense emotions.

But despite our differences I could relate to so much of what was written in this book. The intense feelings, the difficulty in making decisions, the wild and sometimes totally irrational behaviours, the psychic pain, the suicide attempts.

This book had the effect of helping me to feel less alone, that there is at least one more person out there who ‘gets it’. I only wish that DBT was available in the U.K. as it is in the U.S. It might have saved me a lot of unnecessary pain over the years.… (mehr)

An incredibly brutal tale of one woman’s continuous experience with the life altering disease known as ‘bipolar disorder’. It is a roller coaster ride of mistakes and heart break that leads the reader on one hell of a journey; that forces the realness of mental illness onto the open pages of a book. The story is about a woman named Stacy Pershall and the readers are introduced to her through the eyes of a crazed child. The author describes what was going on inside the mind of an undiagnosed bipolar child and how she related to the world. The story continues to discuss her childhood and gradually ages her into adolescence and finally to adulthood. Continuous experiences are shared with the reader, which show how she managed to survive by the skin of her teeth and pure luck, while being undiagnosed. The author also provides symptoms of the disease and uses her own behavior as examples. She gives a personal inside experience of what happened to her when she was finally diagnosed and what the inside of a mental hospital was like. The author leaves little out and is brutally honest in her telling of her past experiences. By sharing her struggles, she has become an advocate for those that fight with this cruel disease.

I must say that this was a very difficult, but interesting book to read. As a parent to a recently diagnosed nine year old with bipolar disorder, I plan on learning as much as I can about the disease. Reading this book gave me both hope and fear. I had to take breaks at times when I read the book, due to the heart break that I felt by some of the author’s choices. I thought about my daughter and imagined her doing this. However, as the book progressed I watched the author grow as a person and saw how she was able to subdue her demons and manage her disease. That alone has given me the strength that I need to continue to fight another day. When I see stories such as this, I know that we are not alone. I am so happy that the author is well and am grateful that she published this book. It was well written and full of grit. It might not be for everyone, but it was what I needed right now in my life.… (mehr)