Sharon Snir

I loved the cover of this book, plus, the topic of a woman discussing her mothers' dementia sounded appealing to me as I used to work in Australia as a Nurse Aide in a secured dementia unit. I remember being appalled at how the residents were treated, talked to/at, managed and moved about. When I worked in that place I wondered about what kind of people the elderly residents used to be, what they were interested in, their families and lives. Because what we saw didnt give much away.

The woman of this book is called Lily, and her dementia went undiscussed within the family for a long time. Her husband, the Lionel of the title, looked after her and much more than any of their children knew. When he suffered a heart attack and was not longer able to be the sole carer, the family made the decision to move Lily into a care facility. It was hard, and for so long. The whole situation was hard.

But, the author discovers a softening in her mothers personality. Once she can no longer remember that she cannot remember anything, their relationship moves from frustrated misunderstandings, to a deeper and more loving moment-by-moment relationship. Sharon figures out the best way to communicate and be with her mother. She has some wonderful tips on ways to minimise confrontation and stress for a person with dementia. Alongside these are some fretful stories of how health professionals seemed unable to cope with a patient who "seemed normal" at first glance but had no short term memory at all.… (mehr)