The set-ups from both the cover quote: "Beginning this book, there is something you should know. This is not a confession." and the last sentence of the back cover synopsis: "But is she telling us the truth?" seem to challenge the reader to unravel a hidden secret of the supposed non-confession. That marketing (which is not necessarily the author's decision) makes this seem that it might be more of a mystery than the more reserved hindsight fictional memoir that it really is.

Rachel's story is based on her admittedly faulty memory and her own notebook of her relationships with two men from ten years ago. You are gradually told that both relationships ended badly and with tragic consequences although the full truth isn't revealed until near the end. The text frequently jump-cuts between flashbacks to the earlier time and to her own current situation where she is writing the memoir in an apartment while constantly viewing the renovation workers in an opposite building. As you might guess, the renovation work is a metaphor for the memory reconstruction that Rachel is undertaking with her own story.

This setup, especially the excellent first sentences quote, and the intriguing construction and presentation of the story are the main reasons for my high rating. As a mystery though it doesn't quite deliver any major twists or shocks. If there was something hidden in the "non-confession" then I was not clever enough to spot it. But as I said, that was the publisher's marketing that led me to expect some sort of hidden secret. As for the unreliable narrator aspect, Rachel herself comes clean partway through the book and admits that she has embellished certain details of clothing worn and persons and events. That is then hardly a secret.

I picked up this 2012 book due to reading about it as an "Underappreciated Book" at Blair Rose's Learn This Phrase book blog at https://tinyletter.com/learnthisphrase. I've found Rose to be a very reliable and entertaining reviewer since discovering her through a review of Stephanie Danler's Sweetbitter. ( )

This is Rachel's story of her affair ten years ago with Carl, a man she worked with. Despite having a handsome boyfriend who she was happy with, she embarked on a sort of reluctant affair with the somewhat obsessive Carl.

Rachel is writing down her story whilst looking out of her window and watching the building site opposite. It's told in random snippets that don't follow on but that doesn't matter. What does matter is that her story isn't particularly interesting or remarkable, and I did find it a bit of a chore to read. I didn't have any feelings for Rachel either, not understanding, sympathy or even dislike, just nothing.

This is not a book I would be able to recommend and I was glad to finish it. ( )

Right from the start it is clear that at the core of this story is something dramatic. On the first page of the book, Rachel, the main character and narrator of the story tells us, 'Ten years ago I had an affair that ended badly.' And even before you actually start reading the book, on the backside it says 'something terrible happened to her lover'. If you love reading a bit of drama – as I sometimes do – this is all it takes to peek your interest. Now you want to find out whatever that terrible thing was.

Ten years after 'it' happened, Rachel realises that, although she would like to believe otherwise, she has still not been able to leave it all behind and then decides to write it down. “I want to describe my part in it and take responsibility for that, if I can bear to”, she writes. What follows then is an account of various events that ultimately lead to the end of the affair between Rachel and Carl. It is a bit of a chaotic account that isn't strictly chronological and that is regularly (or irregularly) interrupted by present time observations.

However, underneath that chaotic account, and the jumping between present and past, the storyline has been perfectly structured by the author – and that is, I think, the weak side of this book. The author's structure was too evident and it constantly reminded me that this was created chaos, thought up by the author, rather than a real account of someone who is trying to come to terms with her past.

Nevertheless I enjoyed reading this book and couldn't put it down until I knew what the 'terrible thing' was... ( )