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Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy World

von Rosalind Wiseman

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1415195,495 (3.26)6
Family & Relationships. Psychology. Nonfiction. HTML:A landmark book that reveals the way boys think and that shows parents, educators and coaches how to reach out and help boys overcome their most common and difficult challenges ?? by the bestselling author who changed our conception of adolescent girls.
 
Do you constantly struggle to pull information from your son, student, or athlete, only to encounter mumbling or evasive assurances such as ??It??s nothing? or ??I??m good??  Do you sense that the boy you care about is being bullied, but that he??ll do anything to avoid your ??help??   Have you repeatedly reminded him that schoolwork and chores come before video games only to spy him reaching for the controller as soon as you leave the room? Have you watched with frustration as your boy flounders with girls?
 
Welcome to Boy World. It??s a place where asking for help or showing emotional pain often feels impossible. Where sports and video games can mean everything, but working hard in school frequently earns ridicule from ??the guys? even as they ask to copy assignments. Where ??masterminds? dominate and friends ruthlessly insult each other but can never object when someone steps over the line. Where hiding problems from adults is the ironclad rule because their involvement only makes situations worse. Boy world is governed by social hierarchies and a powerful set of unwritten rules that have huge implications for your boy??s relationships, his interactions with you, and the man he??ll become. If you want what??s best for him, you need to know what these rules are and how to work with them effectively.
 
What you??ll find in Masterminds and Wingmen is critically important for every parent ?? or anyone who cares about boys ?? to know. Collaborating with a large team of middle- and high-school-age editors, Rosalind Wiseman has created an unprecedented guide to the life your boy is actually experiencing ?? his on-the-ground reality.  Not only does Wiseman challenge you to examine your assumptions, she offers innovative coping strategies aimed at helping
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If you have boys or work with boys, this book is a great tool. She offers suggestions for things to say in certain situations and has little sections about what not to say she calls landmines. ( )
  trinker | Jan 9, 2020 |
Written by the Mean Girls author, this book covers similar ground for upper-class boys in the new millennium. The big structural things that seem different from my youth are the presence of video games as a distractor and the affordances of social media, which can create records and spread nastiness faster than we could in high school. Wiseman emphasizes the strangling effects of the narrow model of masculinity often offered to our boys unless we help them avoid it by teaching them how to express their emotions and navigate conflicts. I found the book helpful in encouraging me to open up some subjects with my son, whether or not he responded in the moment; I learned something about the language he hears around him by mentioning to him that I’d heard other middle-schoolers use a slur and that I thought it was a really hurtful word to use. ( )
  rivkat | Jan 5, 2018 |
The author of Queen Bees and Wannabes takes on the world of boys, describing the way groups tend to interact and working with dozens of boy "editors" to explain what they go through - and don't always tell adults about - in their day-to-day lives.

My library has a regular email that goes out that gives a brief overview of new books, and when I happened to see this I was interested from the perspective of what Wiseman calls an "Ally" - an adult mentor and non-parent that boys can talk to. Wiseman's general perspective is one of offering boys guidance in making moral choices in school and play and most of all to treat everyone with dignity. She is primarily writing to parents, so much of the specific conversations she outlines are not ones I would have with boys in my circle. I got the most out of the beginning where she talks about boy culture and the "act like a man box." Though she has to speak in generalities, she reminds readers that the boy you're interacting with may not quite fit into what she outlines. I understood a lot of things that teen boys have confided in me much more completely after reading what she said. The quotes she includes from the boys with whom she worked were enlightening as well. ( )
  bell7 | Jul 5, 2014 |
Rosalind Wiseman is, well, what is she? She's not a doctor, a psychologist, a psychiatrist, a researcher . . . her bio says she's "an internationally recognized expert on children, parenting, bullying, social justice, and ethical leadership". If any of you have heard of her, it's probably for her book [Queen Bees and Wannabes] and the spin off movie, Mean Girls, produced by Tina Fey.

This book is the boy equivalent of Mean Girls. In it she attempts to decode "boy world". Since I have two little boys I thought this might be interesting. I was not impressed. To be fair, maybe it would all mean more to me if my boys were in the target age group she's describing, middle-high school, but I don't think so. I found her way to quick to try to categorize every boy and every parent and too slow to acknowledge that people rarely fit in such well defined categories. The book is divided into sections for specific problems, so if you're having a specific problem I guess reading that section might be helpful, but I just wasn't a fan of her approach or tone. ( )
  japaul22 | Jan 7, 2014 |
Overall, a good tool for parents, educators, and folks who work with boys.

I was very excited to receive this book! As an educator, I have spent the bulk of my career working with at-risk populations and have been baffled by Boy World. It was a treat to hear from them (through Wiseman), to shed light on their thoughts and behaviors, and the strategies that can help. ( )
  Debra_Armbruster | Dec 31, 2013 |
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Family & Relationships. Psychology. Nonfiction. HTML:A landmark book that reveals the way boys think and that shows parents, educators and coaches how to reach out and help boys overcome their most common and difficult challenges ?? by the bestselling author who changed our conception of adolescent girls.
 
Do you constantly struggle to pull information from your son, student, or athlete, only to encounter mumbling or evasive assurances such as ??It??s nothing? or ??I??m good??  Do you sense that the boy you care about is being bullied, but that he??ll do anything to avoid your ??help??   Have you repeatedly reminded him that schoolwork and chores come before video games only to spy him reaching for the controller as soon as you leave the room? Have you watched with frustration as your boy flounders with girls?
 
Welcome to Boy World. It??s a place where asking for help or showing emotional pain often feels impossible. Where sports and video games can mean everything, but working hard in school frequently earns ridicule from ??the guys? even as they ask to copy assignments. Where ??masterminds? dominate and friends ruthlessly insult each other but can never object when someone steps over the line. Where hiding problems from adults is the ironclad rule because their involvement only makes situations worse. Boy world is governed by social hierarchies and a powerful set of unwritten rules that have huge implications for your boy??s relationships, his interactions with you, and the man he??ll become. If you want what??s best for him, you need to know what these rules are and how to work with them effectively.
 
What you??ll find in Masterminds and Wingmen is critically important for every parent ?? or anyone who cares about boys ?? to know. Collaborating with a large team of middle- and high-school-age editors, Rosalind Wiseman has created an unprecedented guide to the life your boy is actually experiencing ?? his on-the-ground reality.  Not only does Wiseman challenge you to examine your assumptions, she offers innovative coping strategies aimed at helping

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