You know, I like a bleak book. I like introspection. And beautiful writing is important. Lacey’s first novel hit all these buttons but collapsed in the last third, pages lost in her head, still aimless, hardly having changed. Still, I look forward to the new Biography of X and more of her wry crackerjack characterizations and writing. ( )

Well, this was probably the least satisfying thing I've read for a while, and the main reason I've given it 3 stars is because I got through it because it was mercifully short. It's a little hard to tell what's going on here. On the surface, a woman is having a hard time coping with her life because of the lasting effects of her sister's suicide, and decides to leave her husband without a word and travel halfway around the world to New Zealand, to take up a vague "hey if you're ever in New Zealand, look me up" invitation she received from a stranger once. I liked the concept, but really it is a kind of stream of consciousness account of this woman's mental breakdown. Eventually, after wandering a foreign country like a vagabond for what appears to be months, punctuated by encounters with people who ultimately find her anti-social, or who bug her in some way, she ends up in hospital. She has the opportunity to figure out what is wrong with her psyche during a psychological assessment, but is unable to come clean with the doctor about what is really going on in her head, despite expressing a wish (to herself, at least) to do so. So, she goes back to New York where she has nothing and nobody and the story just ends. And frankly, I did not find myself sympathetic to this character or the psychotic break or whatever she is going through. I hoped there would be some kind of resolution, but I wasn't surprised that there was not. ( )

Oof. I read this a year or so ago and I still think very sadly of that time. There are a few beautiful turns of phrase and visuals, but mostly I was bored as shit ( )

Oof. I read this a year or so ago and I still think very sadly of that time. There are a few beautiful turns of phrase and visuals, but mostly I was bored as shit ( )

I skimmed it. The writing was frustrating and overwrought which made the characters weirdly empty, like shell people. I got a tension headache trying to constantly give this book the benefit of the doubt, but it’s just not as deep or insightful as it thinks it is. I don’t believe I’m missing anything by not reading every word. ( )

Well-written, but I had absolutely no patience for the self-involved Elyria. ( )

Dark and edgy though what makes it so? The sentences, the syntax, the protag’s repetitive thoughts, her flirtation with her own dissolution. I’m quite taken with this book. It’s one that matters to me. The aloneness it seeks and the sickness that aloneness brings and the holiness that aloneness brings. In an interview the author says it doesn’t matter that the protagonist is a woman, and I’m gravely disappointed. I don’t just disagree, my mood is ruined. Catherine! Come on.

I will say it isn’t exactly a fun book to read. It’s grating. It goes on and on and yet it’s pretty short. It’s also surprisingly funny, but it’s grindingly in the protag’s head and she’s obsessed with herself so it’s grinding. But it really captures what it’s like, grinding out the head noise, being a person. The book feels like an indictment of white women and narcisssism. Of marriage and American priorities. Of community and belonging. Of the American family. It’s such a great rebuttal to all those boy books about finding yourself and adventure. I’m grateful to this book for being such a dangerous little grenade. ( )

Elyria tut das, wovon viele träumen, sich aber nie wagen in die Tat umzusetzen: sie verschwindet. Sie setzt sich in einen Flieger und reist von den USA nach Neuseeland. Sie weiß, wovor sie wegläuft, wohin sie will ist schon schwieriger. Zunächst einmal auf die Farm eines Mannes, den sie kennenlernte und der ihr leichtsinnigerweise anbot, bei ihm in der Abgeschiedenheit zu leben und arbeiten. Trampend bestreitet sie den Weg, Gelegenheitsjobs bringen immer wieder ein wenig Geld ein.- Was ihr Ehemann und ihre Mutter machen, interessiert sie nicht, das hat sie hinter sich gelassen. Was sie jedoch nicht zurücklassen kann, ist die Erinnerung, vor allem an ihre Stiefschwester, deren Tod sie nie überwunden hat. In der Ferne sucht sie nach etwas, sich selbst, und sie versucht ihrem alten Ich und all seinen Erinnerungen zu entkommen.

Catherine Lacey hat einen ungewöhnlichen Roman geschrieben, der einem direkt packt und mitreißt. Zunächst ist man verwundert über den Mut der Protagonistin, einfach alle Zelte abzubauen und in eine ungewisse Zukunft zu reisen. Dann kommen Zweifel, ob ihr Handeln wirklich durchdacht ist – nein – ob die Suche nach ihrem Selbst so erfolgreich ist – zweifelhaft – ob sie einfach leichtsinnig oder gar verrückt ist – naheliegend. Die Reise ist viel weniger eine Suche denn ein Weglaufen. Sie stellt sich nicht den Dingen, die sie dringend besprechen und bearbeiten müsste. Jede Begegnung mit einem Menschen wird zur Qual, weil sie Fragen zu sich beantworten soll, dabei will sie nichts weniger sein als sie selbst. Aus der mutigen wird plötzlich eine eher feige Frau, die nicht den Schneid hat, ihrem Leben entgegenzutreten.

Elyria muss dies im Laufe ihrer Reise erkennen. Hier liegen die besonderen Stärken des Romans. Die Handlung bewegt sich zwischen den Stationen in Neuseeland und den kurzen Episoden des Kontakts mit eigentlich fremden Menschen, zu denen Elyria nie eine Verbindung aufbauen kann, bleibt so recht überschaubar. Spannender und interessanter indes ihre psychische Entwicklung. Nach und nach reift jedoch in ihr die Erkenntnis, dass ihr Ziel verfehlt werden wird:

„damals, als ich noch dachte ich hätte herausgefunden, wer ich war und warum ich anscheinend mit dem Leben nicht so gut umgehen konnte, wie andere Leute das taten“ (S. 148) und

„Selbst wenn niemand mich je fände, wenn ich den Rest meines Lebens hier verbrächte und für immer verschwunden bliebe, von anderen für vermisst erklärt, könnte ich aus meinem eigenen Leben doch nie verschwinden; ich könnte nie den Verlauf meiner Geschichte löschen, sondern wüsste immer genau, wo ich war und gewesen war (...) das, was ich die ganze Zeit gewollt hatte, vollständig verschwinden, doch eben das würde mir nie gelingen – niemand verschwindet einfach so, niemand hat diesen Luxus je gehabt oder wird ihn je haben“ (S. 160)

Sie muss zurückkehren in ihr altes Leben, sich diesem wieder stellen oder etwas ändern, denn weglaufen und verschwinden funktioniert nicht. ( )

Normaliter zou ik een boek als deze in de oorspronkelijk taal, namelijk het Engels, lezen. Maar omdat ik de uitgeverij Das Mag graag steun heb ik dit boek in de vertaling gekocht. En of het de oorspronkelijke tekst is of de verdiensten van de twee vertalers, is iets waar moeilijk achter te komen is, maar het taalgebruik voelt zeer natuurlijk aan terwijl de auteur nog wel eens met de taal wil spelen. Zoals in een zin waarin een orgel orgelt, daar kan ik enorm van genieten. Op zo'n orgel wordt niet zomaar wat gespeeld, nee daar wordt mee georgeld.

Het verhaal is zo opgebouwd dat je als lezer als vanzelf meegaat in de reis die de ik-persoon maakt terwijl je steeds kleine brokjes van de voorgeschiedenis krijgt toegeworpen. Op zich niet bijzonder origineel maar in dit verhaal weer bijzonder effectief. Het gaat namelijk om een vrouw die opeens besluit bij haar man weg te gaan en als Amerikaanse in Nieuw Zeeland belandt. Ze kan zelf moeilijk onder woorden brengen wat het nu precies geweest is dat ze daar terecht is gekomen en op een gegeven moment dacht ik dat ze de realiteit helemaal uit het oog ging verliezen. Als lezer wilde ik mij proberen vast te grijpen aan dat wat er dan nog wel de werkelijkheid lijkt te zijn en daarmee voel je de ik-persoon haar worsteling. Knap geschreven en een hele belevenis om met mee te maken.

Toch heb ik ergens nog het gevoel dat ik iets mis, alleen weet ik niet wat dat is. En misschien hoort dat nou ook juist bij dit boek. Het gevoel dat je nooit de vinger op de zere plek kunt leggen want er is altijd weer een andere plek die je daarvan afleidt en die het dan ook weer net niet is. ( )

Good start and interesting people but half way through it gets a bit strange and has an open end. ( )

Well-written, but I had absolutely no patience for the self-involved Elyria. ( )

J’avais repéré ce livre dès sa parution car je trouvais sa couverture trop belle. Quand j’ai vu qu’il était disponible à la bibliothèque numérique de Paris, je l’ai donc emprunté. Forcément !

C’est l’histoire Elyria, une jeune femme américaine qui a tout pour elle, ou en tout cas qui semble tout avoir pour elle : un mari aimant, un super boulot (elle est scénariste pour une série télé ; et oui c’est un travail qui n’existe pas uniquement dans les séries télévisées), un appartement classieux, des amis … Pourtant, un jour, elle décide de tout plaquer pour partir en Nouvelle-Zélande, chez un écrivain solitaire, qui lui a un jour lancé une vague invitation. Le livre est l’histoire de ce voyage et du retour inéluctable.

Le présent si parfait cache un passé plus sombre : un drame familial précédé par une mère peu présente. Le mariage parfait devient est aussi moins parfait qu’il n’en a l’air. Pourtant, Catherine Lacey ne décrit pas une femme névrosée ou quelque chose comme cela, mais plutôt une femme tout ce qu’il y a de plus ordinaire. Pour preuve, il n’y a pas de happy end où tous les problèmes passés se résolvent dans le présent mais bien pas de fin du tout parce que dans la vie de tous les jours il n’y a pas forcément de fin après 250 pages.

De cette femme normale, qui réalise tout de même un acte extrême, on suit les pensées, des pensées bousculées, rapides, syncopées. Elle expose devant nous sa solitude, son incompréhension, ses doutes face à sa personnalité. La question qui sous-tend le livre est bien de savoir s’il est normal de faire comme si tout allait bien, tout le temps, comme si on n’avait aucun doute, à aucun moment. Le roman questionne aussi la part de normalité en tout être.

C’est un premier roman et j’ai franchement trouvé brillante la manière dont Catherine Lacey retranscrit la moindre pensée de son héroïne. J’ai aimé le rythme intense tout au long du roman, la façon dont on sent mouliner ce cerveau, parfois à vide il faut l’avouer. J’ai lu des avis sur LibraryThing qui disaient que le roman raconte la manière dont une femme devenait folle mais c’est complètement faux à mon avis. C’est plutôt la manière dont la société va traiter cette femme, cette personne, qui s’interroge sur son avenir, sur son couple et sur son bonheur.

Si on voulait vraiment trouver une faiblesse au roman, je dirais que c’est l’histoire en elle-même. Finalement, la romancière ne fait rien des éléments familiaux qu’elle introduit. Mais peut-être que si elle l’avait fait, le roman aurait été gnian-gnian et surtout déjà vu / lu.

En conclusion, une très belle découverte. Je lirai volontiers son deuxième roman ! ( )

I had to struggle to finish this book... I discovered the writing style to be chaotic and hard to follow. Elyria finds herself lost in her own mind, because of this internal chaos. I believe that it is reflected in the writing, but so much that you get lost in the words. After her sister's suicide, she becomes stuck on Ruby's last moments, thoughts, and interactions. Her husband was a professor to Ruby and is how Elyria and he met. Her relationship with her mother is filled with misunderstanding and lack of care, on both individuals. She drinks and smokes, while seeming just as lost as her daughter.

Elyria takes it upon herself to leave her husband without a word of where she really is going. She travels across the world to New Zealand in hopes that she can lose herself in the country and find a place where she is with people, but alone.

The plot does not possess a storyline easy to follow and leaves us with more questions than when we started the book. I give this a 2 star rating for the difficulty of reading the text and understanding the point behind Elyria's story. Realizing how emotionally distressed and lost she is important, but there really appears to have been no "point" to this book. It follows the rabbit hole of depression, into a dark place that there is no escape from. In reality, this happens to people, but as a form of literature the rambling only make it more difficult to understand from a general audience's view. I don't normally have this harsh of an opinion, but I really would suggest that this book should be abandoned on the shelf if you have other interests on your #TBR list. ( )

This was a slog for me - the book is situated deep in the narrator's thought processes, so you get every decision, every anxiety and every roundabout thought as she struggles through a pretty intense period of grief and depression. In all likelihood, the resulting book is a pretty accurate representation of what it's like to feel hopeless, directionless and lost, but it makes for some pretty dull reading. ( )

Good look at suicide's effects on its survivors--the mystery, the unanswered questions. Also face to face with frustration those who love someone with mental illness have. Unusual premise for a marriage. Beautiful and haunting. Prose repetitive by the end to the point of skipping pages. ( )

5
This is a startlingly good debut novel. The writing is crisp and assured and, in the rambling internal monologue narrative style, Lacey pulls off the sort of trick that most established writers couldn't hope to achieve. Elyria is the sort of character who speaks to a type of reader, a type of human being, and while she might infuriate some... I think everyone needs to have respect, understanding, dare-I-say patience with Elyria and with any folks in the reader's life who might suffer similarly. This world can be impossibly difficult to deal with in the best of circumstances - so if someone needs to step off the merry-go-round for a little while, it's wrong to attack them for it. It's wrong not to try to understand or allow it. Nobody is ever missing, not to themselves - it might just take a little while to understand where you are.

A lot more, some of it really rather personal, at RB: http://ragingbiblioholism.com/2014/07/21/nobody-is-ever-missing/ ( )

5
This is a startlingly good debut novel. The writing is crisp and assured and, in the rambling internal monologue narrative style, Lacey pulls off the sort of trick that most established writers couldn't hope to achieve. Elyria is the sort of character who speaks to a type of reader, a type of human being, and while she might infuriate some... I think everyone needs to have respect, understanding, dare-I-say patience with Elyria and with any folks in the reader's life who might suffer similarly. This world can be impossibly difficult to deal with in the best of circumstances - so if someone needs to step off the merry-go-round for a little while, it's wrong to attack them for it. It's wrong not to try to understand or allow it. Nobody is ever missing, not to themselves - it might just take a little while to understand where you are.

A lot more, some of it really rather personal, at RB: http://ragingbiblioholism.com/2014/07/21/nobody-is-ever-missing/ ( )

I wasn't feeling the love through much of Nobody Is Ever Missing. I thought the premise of Catherine Lacey's debut novel sounded enthralling, but the story was anything but. Without telling her family, our protagonist, Elyria, journeys half way around the world and wanders New Zealand. The potential for character development and crafting a beautiful setting was certainly there, but much of the novel takes place in flashbacks of Elyria's past. I was disappointed, trudging slowly through the novel's landscape.

At some point, in the last half, the novel clicked for me. I still thought it was slow and certainly not what I wanted from it, but the beauty of the language and the grittiness of Elyria's journey settled in. I may have not been enraptured with Elyria's trek itself, but I was with her character: her strength and weakness, her drive and her lack of direction, her passion and her callousness—she became very real. The language used to take the reader through Elyria's various mental states is vivid, breathtaking, and original. At times, the metaphors overreach, but these moments are few, especially in the novel's concluding chapters where the ride becomes more fast paced and psychological.

Given my initial reaction, I'm quite surprised I enjoyed this one as much as I did. Certainly, it is not the captivating, plot-driven novel many readers are seeking, but in the end, Nobody Is Ever Missing is a well told story of one woman's crisis of mind. Through not quite as lyrical as some poetic prose, I'd say this one will resonate more with readers of poetry than with hardcore fans of story. ( )

listening to a woman destroy her life and internally go crazy, leaving her husband , going to New Zealand. Her life goes consistently downhill ( )

Brilliant, breathless, don't start unless you have time to finish it in one or two sittings. ( )

Beautifully crafted tale of a woman who keeps running, trying to find out who she really is. ( )

Learned about this book through a Joss Whedon tweet and wondered if it was a "how-to manual" for women to leave their husbands.
Turns out, Ms. Lacey has written a beautiful, almost stream of consciousness, lonely story about the inner turmoil of one wife.
Elyria decides to leave her husband and heads to New Zealand to stay with a man named Werner whom she met at a social gathering once and he left her with an open invitation to visit.
Elyria's memories of her sister, mother and early times with her husband are entwined with her inner turmoil about being a wife, a daughter, a sane person. Ms/ Lacey describes, in beautifully intricate phrases, the "wildebeast" that lives inside Elyria and refuses to be tamed.
A few favorite phrases:
About marriage - "can't keep looking at the same person every day and being looked at by the same person every day without wanting to make him swallow a tiny bomb and set that bomb off and make him disappear" (61)
About the ocean - "what they are looking at is just the blue curtain over the wild violence, lives eating lives, the unstoppable chew , , , that ferocious pulse under all things placid" (86)
On her own sadness - "it didn't matter how much or how little I thought I understood the mess of myself, because I would never =, no matter what I did, be missing to myself and that was what I had wanted all this time, to go fully missing, but I would never be able to go fully missing -- nobody is missing like that, no one has ever had that luxury and no one ever will" (182)
While sometimes a little close to home, I did enjoy the sad story. It is not a "how to manual" - it is one story of one woman's internal struggle to make sense of everything around her and often failing, as we all do. ( )