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What We Left Behind (2015)

von Robin Talley

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1619171,003 (3.27)1
Romance. Young Adult Fiction. LGBTQIA+ (Fiction.) HTML:From the acclaimed author of Lies We Tell Ourselves comes an empowering YA novel of what happens when love may not be enough to conquer all.
Toni and Gretchen are the couple everyone envied in high school. When they go off to different collegesâ??Toni to Harvard and Gretchen to NYUâ??they're sure they'll be fine. Where other long-distance relationships have fallen apart, theirs is bound to stay rock-solid. The reality of being apart, though, is very different than they expected.
Toni, who identifies as genderqueer, meets a group of transgender upperclassmen and immediately finds a sense of belonging that has always been missing. Gretchen, meanwhile, struggles to remember who she is outside their relationship. As distance and Toni's shifting gender identity begin to wear on their relationship, the couple must decideâ??have they grown apart for good, or is love enough to keep them
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This was actually much better than I was led to expect it would be?? The number of one-star reviews is stunning me. I have to think it's mismatched expectations---this presents superficially as an Educational, Representation-Fueled YA Novel and as a Romance Novel but it's neither. I *liked* the ending, but I can see why a romance reader expecting an HEA would be put off.

What We Left Behind doesn't edumicate the reader about the proper meanings of terms---Toni is messy and self-righteous and frequently kind of a dick and has no idea what's going on with Toni, and it's all very developmentally appropriate for an 18 year old. The representation trans people actually need, tyvm. Where Gretchen messes up is not asking the wrong questions but being too scared of messing up to ask questions---!! It's a different kind of interpersonal pain than asking the possibly-offensive questions and expressing the possibly-offensive feelings, as the sister does, but the thesis of the book is that you need to express things to get past them, and overthinking does not actually accomplish the same thing.

Readers freaking out that Toni isn't firm in Toni's identity as genderqueer and that it happens to be, in T's case, a stepping stone on the way to figuring out T's gender identity are way off the mark. Sorry to have to tell you that it's ~valid~ to not come out of the womb knowing how you identify! Sorry to have to tell you that other trans people can sometimes be jerks and make assumptions about you and your journey! Those are very common experiences, and it doesn't make anyone involved irredeemable.

Carroll is... hm. I finally got what the author was aiming for at the end, and I retrospectively think the arc was interesting and important to the story, but up until then it's a complete headscratcher. I think his specific offensive comments could have been toned down a lot for a greater overall effect; he doesn't have to be bigoted repeatedly and in every single direction at once in order to get across that he's rude and doesn't learn from being corrected.

People fighting over who gets to identify as "lesbian" is the most boring shit on god's green internet, so I enjoyed when Gretchen and Carroll sleep together. Gretchen just goes "well, that was a thing that happened" and doesn't doubt her sexuality for a moment; only other characters are confused. It was actually a really sweet moment between G and C that made me much more sympathetic to both. They both needed comfort and they emotionally support each other and took it too far, and G is mature enough to understand that and let it go, while C isn't.

3.5/5, rounded up because I do think some of the ratings are unfair. I've liked a few Robin Talley books, it looks like---clearly should seek more out. ( )
  caedocyon | Jul 18, 2023 |
Original de: El Blog del Gato - El Extraño Gato del Cuento

¿No te han tocado libros que luego de leer un par de capítulos, estás seguro que odiaras a un personaje, porque sientes que no hay nada en este mundo que haga que te agrade dicho personaje, pero luego terminas sorprendiéndote tu mismo cuando dicho personaje te termina agradando? ¿No? Eso me pasó con What We Left Behind, esta libro tiene varias características que normalmente me hacen terminar con una sensación amarga, solo que la manera como se maneja la historia me llevó a querer que estos personajes superarán sus problemas y terminaran bien.



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  Ella_Zegarra | Jan 18, 2022 |
WHAT WE LEFT BEHIND is an educational and emotional book for those whom are growing up and learning new things about themselves with every memorable experience. Love and self-worth plays a major role in the development of the story, constantly leaving the reader on edge as each character is given a point of view.
The story revolves around Toni and Gretchen, the couple everyone envied in high school. They've been together forever. They never fight. They're deeply, hopelessly in love. When they separate for their first year at college -Toni to Harvard and Gretchen to NYU- they're sure they'll be fine. Where other long-distance relationships have fallen apart, they have hopes that theirs will turn out differently. The reality of being apart, though, is very different than they expected. Toni, who identified as genderqueer, meets a group of transgender upperclassmen while searching for clubs to join and immediately finds a sense of belonging that has always been missing, but Gretchen struggles to remember who she is outside their relationship. While Toni worries that Gretchen won't understand Toni's struggles with gender, Gretchen begins to wonder where she fits in this puzzle. As distance and Toni's shifting gender identity begin to wear on their relationship, the couple must decide if they have grown apart for good, or if love is enough to keep them together. The work is emotionally draining, leaving the reader to feel betrayed as though the upsets in the book directly effect them. This is such a well written book. I have a bad habit lately of just skimming through books and hoping something will grab me enough to make me actually want to read it and this one definitely did so. As much as I liked Toni at the beginning of the book, they really unnerved me to the point where my knee was constantly bouncing! By the time the book was done, I was irritated enough to write this review. Please understand that this is meant as a compliment. I really like when characters are realistic enough to make me irritable. It is expected of Toni to be self-absorbed. They’re 18 and experiencing feelings most people wouldn't even think existed. Gretchen got the short end of the stick throughout the Toni show, especially during the end of the book when the couple encounter melancholic events. I wouldn't give this book a 10/10 rating, only because the topic of gender is sensitive and the author throws around labels as if they have standards. I would recommend this book mainly to teens or adults that are a part of the LGBTQ+ community, for it would probably be too confusing to those who don't understand the concepts of 'genderqueer' and 'genderfluid'. ( )
  jagijongin | Feb 16, 2019 |
I was so excited for this book but I have to say that after reading it I'm a little disappointed, especially about how non-binary genders are portrayed. See, by the end of the book, there are no non-binary people. Non-binary genders are portrayed as a stepping stone to a binary one. There are some people who do that, but it's disappointing to see this portrayed as the main story, with no other non-binary characters - only binary trans people. For context, I'm a non-binary person who most of the time, feels closer to agender than female or male. Sometimes I feel like a girl. Rarely I feel like a boy. Gender can be fluid.

Also, I didn't like Tony. He was sort of Problematic. There's one part where he points out that girlie things mean cisgender, which ... uh ... trans boys can wear dresses. Agender people can wear makeup. Trans girls can wear jeans. And I didn't like how he refused to use gendered pronouns for most of the book. It felt disrespectful to the binary trans characters who wanted "he" pronouns.

The characters and story wasn't anything special. I didn't like the Instalove. I mean, I'm thrilled about trans representation but this only represented trans men, and we need more than that.

( )
  jwmchen | Nov 4, 2017 |
Young persons book, teenage lesbian couple who separate to go to college where one follows her inclination that she is transgender, not lesbian. An interesting read, and I learned much about the feelings and preferences of people with these issues. ( )
  JeanetteSkwor | Jul 25, 2016 |
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Romance. Young Adult Fiction. LGBTQIA+ (Fiction.) HTML:From the acclaimed author of Lies We Tell Ourselves comes an empowering YA novel of what happens when love may not be enough to conquer all.
Toni and Gretchen are the couple everyone envied in high school. When they go off to different collegesâ??Toni to Harvard and Gretchen to NYUâ??they're sure they'll be fine. Where other long-distance relationships have fallen apart, theirs is bound to stay rock-solid. The reality of being apart, though, is very different than they expected.
Toni, who identifies as genderqueer, meets a group of transgender upperclassmen and immediately finds a sense of belonging that has always been missing. Gretchen, meanwhile, struggles to remember who she is outside their relationship. As distance and Toni's shifting gender identity begin to wear on their relationship, the couple must decideâ??have they grown apart for good, or is love enough to keep them

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