How Not to Disappear by Clare Furniss is a charming book about intergenerational relationships, very similar to Jenny Downham’s Unbecoming.

While Hattie is home alone she answers a phone call. The stranger on the other end, Peggy, tells Hattie that her elderly neighbor, Gloria, is unwell and it would be nice if Gloria’s only family, that is Hattie’s family, would visit her. The problem is that nobody in Hattie’s family has ever heard of Gloria.

When the rest of Hattie’s family begins a two week vacation, Hattie decides to drive to London (Hattie’s not an experienced driver) to visit Gloria, who turns out to be her great-aunt. What she finds is a crusty old lady, sitting in a window seat sipping Champagne. Gloria makes it clear she wants no part of Hattie, but Hattie is unshaken.

On her second visit, Hattie learns that Gloria is suffering from the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease and suggests Gloria prepare a bucket list of places she’d like to visit while she can still remember them and the two women take a road trip, which Gloria reluctantly agrees to.

How Not to Disappear is a book about two women who have secrets: the first is a seventeen year old keeping a secret from her parents and the second is a seventy year old with a secret she’s never told anyone. It’s a rewarding intergenerational story about two people who come to terms with their lives and form a bond.

The parallels to Unbecoming are uncanny. In How Not to Disappear, Hattie meets an great aunt she never met. In Unbecoming, Katie meets a grandmother she’s never met. Both older women are suffering from dementia. The young women form a bond with their elderly relatives who in turn relate their life stories. Both older women led carefree theatrical lives. Both young women have an issue they must come to terms with. There is one more similarity which I’ll let the reader discover.

While the similarities are numerous, the books are vastly different and both should be read. ( )

Originally posted here

A largely enjoyable read featuring some pretty heavy topics such as teen pregnancy, society's attitude to pregnancy outside of wedlock, abortion, dementia, the break-down of family units - pretty serious and depressing stuff. Going into it, I didn't realise quite how depressing the story was and I thought it was going to be more of a comedy and a light summery read. There are funny bits here and there but the overall tone of the book was pretty heavy. The POVs go back and forth between Hattie and her great aunt Gloria's memories, which I really liked.

Gloria in particular was a great character, she liked her booze, high heels, and just had the 'I don't give a fig' attitude which I find highly entertaining in an elderly character. Her secret though was just slightly underwhelming and easy to guess. As for the rest of the secondary characters, they all felt very distinct and full of personality which was great. I particularly liked reading about what Reuben's problems were and Hattie's extremely relatable family dynamic.

I would say that overall this book is a pretty average read, I liked it and it was enjoyable. It just lacked that special something to really make it memorable for me. The ending felt a bit rushed and I felt like a little more elaboration of Hattie's life after she made her critical decision was needed. It just was a bit too... happy. Which is a weird thing to say but the story was full of hard-hitting topics so it would have felt more poignant to me if it had ended a little differently. ( )