This was a slow paced Fantasy with wonderful world building. It had Strange The Dreamer(esque) vibes and believe me when I say that's a HUGE compliment. But here was this expansive, rich world with not much happening in it. It was a shame to waste such a promising foundation and use it as the backdrop for a book mostly filled with denigrating self talk and no drive, no tension no BAM! It sounds dreadful right? Well it wasn't all bad. The redeeming quality for this book was its writing, I just wish that it didn't linger in the quagmire of our MC, Ronoah's self-doubt so much. Our MC had the absolute WORST case of mental self-flagellation. We are bludgeoned repeatedly with this constant state of panic, reminding us over and over (in a bevy of different ways) of our MC's brutally toxic/painful mental state... it was borderline torture to read and that alone might be a draw for some readers but for this bibliophile... not so much. I wanted to scream... ball my hands into fists and glare daggers at my poor ereader... this, plus the plodding pace almost caused me to chuck this one into the DNF pile... something I hate to do but I'm starting to warm up to the idea. BUT it got rave reviews (somehow) so I soldiered on.

Unfortunately I kept finding myself having to reread sentences, sometimes a few times, trying to suss out what was actually meant. It might have been due to my sleep deprived, addled brain that is currently experiencing this book in the wee hours of the night/morning causing me to periodically drift off into the ether. I somehow doubt that that's the culprit but with all of the rave reviews this book has I guess it's a case of It's Not You, It's Me and I'll leave it at that.

Overall:
This is sloooow... molasses on a Winter's day slow but the characters (including Gods, Godlings and other beings) were decent. I didn't love or even like our MC. This is usually the kiss of death for a book in my world. We are reminded of Ronoah's mental situation time and time again... the repetition and denegration alone, in and of itself, were annoying but having an amazing background for merely decent characters and a boring plot is a travesty. The rehashing of our MC's constant state of panic (and self loathing) took up too much page real-estate (imo) where some sort of action or tension should have been cultivated. I wanted to be empathetic but I just wasnt feeling this one.

For me, this is a tricky one to rate. On the one hand we have the slogging pace, the lackluster characters, the repetitive self-flagellation and the absence of any sort of action. On the other hand there is the evocative writing and well crafted world building. I'd put it at 2.5 Stars but GoodReads doesn't do anything in half measures so I'll give it the benefit of the doubt that it was a Me Thing and round up to 3 Stars.

~ Sorry ( )

I think I just found one of my most favorite books of all time.

Even if the novel didn't remind me of Cat Valente's best writing, with all its poetry couched in prose, the way the stories within stories kinda blows me away.

But you know what really speaks to me the most?

This novel is about awe. Hope. Regaining spirit, driving forward your dreams, fighting anxiety, and finding wonder.

Quite aside from that, the novel has a truly delicious and deep worldbuilding that is matched or perhaps overmatched with the depth of characterization. On the surface, it's a novel about a scholar putting his books away to fully experience the world no matter what anyone thinks and taking up with a fascinating traveler.

But that's like saying LoTR is about some short person taking out the trash.

As I was reading, I counted three times I was brought to tears. The first was probably the hardest hitting. The traveler's rules for our hapless scholar put him through a profound and genuine change, revealing his heart's innermost desires, smashing walls and unearthing all the buried dreams of a lifetime. The courage and the point of it and the execution floored me.

And that might have been more than enough for any novel, but this one forges forth and gives us some of the most engaging reveals I've ever read. Never mind that some themes might have been explored in older fantasy novels.

The author's take on these themes is superior. Courageous. Delightful.

Am I in full-on crush mode right now?

You better F***ing believe it.

I plan on reading this again. And again. At delighted leisure. There is nothing about this that isn't uplifting, even if it is often difficult. Or even more than difficult. You could call it an artist's journey, but it is as valid for self-discovery, self-actualization, or even just accepting yourself and falling in love with life and your own destiny. :)

BRAVO! ( )