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Dating might seem a trivial and relatively inconsequential part of love, but it is in fact key to getting into the kind of relationship that can last and help us flourish. The process we call dating sits on top of some of the largest themes of love: how to know whether or not someone is right for us; how soon to settle and how long to search; how to be at once honest and seductive; how to politely extricate oneself without causing offence. This little book is an indispensable guide to the dating process. It teaches us about the history of dating (and why the way we are dating now is so novel and so perplexing), the reason why our dating days can be so anxious, how we should discuss our past on a date, what questions we might ask a new partner, how to optimize our attempts at dating--and how to digest and overcome so-called "bad" dates. The book is at once heartfelt and perceptive and never minimizes the agony, joys, and confusions of our dating days and nights. It provides us with the ideal wise road map to the varied, sometimes delightful, sometimes daunting realities of dating. "It is so natural to want our dating days to come to an end: but we should never lose sight of the genuine merits and delights that lie closely entwined with their pains. We should continue to seek our life partner, while not ignoring the real pleasures that emerge from not yet having found them."… (mehr)
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I read this book as an electronic advance reading copy provided by Edelweiss, and I have submitted my comments to the publisher via that web site.

This book posits a lovely argument: that dating is a pursuit of vulnerability, truth, and beauty in others. (How that jibes with the reality of modern dating is perhaps a matter of debate...)

Some of the suggested conversation topics for dates are really intrusive but likely to build intimacy with the right person; the author suggests them as “early date conversation options,” but for a shy, avoidant person like myself, they would work better later in the relationship. Although the writing is occasionally mawkish, overall the tone is earnest and sweet. Recommended. ( )
  librarianarpita | Dec 2, 2019 |
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Dating might seem a trivial and relatively inconsequential part of love, but it is in fact key to getting into the kind of relationship that can last and help us flourish. The process we call dating sits on top of some of the largest themes of love: how to know whether or not someone is right for us; how soon to settle and how long to search; how to be at once honest and seductive; how to politely extricate oneself without causing offence. This little book is an indispensable guide to the dating process. It teaches us about the history of dating (and why the way we are dating now is so novel and so perplexing), the reason why our dating days can be so anxious, how we should discuss our past on a date, what questions we might ask a new partner, how to optimize our attempts at dating--and how to digest and overcome so-called "bad" dates. The book is at once heartfelt and perceptive and never minimizes the agony, joys, and confusions of our dating days and nights. It provides us with the ideal wise road map to the varied, sometimes delightful, sometimes daunting realities of dating. "It is so natural to want our dating days to come to an end: but we should never lose sight of the genuine merits and delights that lie closely entwined with their pains. We should continue to seek our life partner, while not ignoring the real pleasures that emerge from not yet having found them."

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