This book is a straight-forward guide to learning how to identify and examine parts of ourselves we typically do not question closely. The author explains what it means to be emotionally healthy while identifying emotionally unhealthy signs. One impactful idea from the reading is understanding how our past influences our present; that it does so even when past dangers and circumstances no longer apply. We recall the past instantly, and we tend to execute the same thinking patterns, even if the issues in front of us are not what they were when we first used those old thinking patterns. For example, a past danger may be gone, but the accompanying reaction continues to be automatic. This book explains why these patterns repeat to our detriment if not conscientiously altered. This book has enough material to warrant multiple reads and to prompt some deep personal reflection. ( )

Yes, self-help books are my guilty pleasure! I like Tian Dayton's work because so much of what she says resonates in my own life (unresolved emotional pain from the past showing up in present relationships) and that her writing is easy to understand and clear without veering into jargon and psychobabble. This book, based on the concept of "emotional sobriety" is largely based on the author's experiences as an adult child of an alcoholic (ACOA), but is applicable to nearly anyone who has face significant trauma in relationships. (As they say, if you have parents, you need therapy.) This book outlines Dayton's approach to emotional sobriety (the antithesis to the "dry drunk"--the sober alcoholic who still hasn't resolved old pain) and balance. Dayton's experiences with 12-step programs obviously influenced her work here, but I didn't feel that she was in any way suggesting that 12-step programs were the only way to achieve emotional sobriety. The book ranges from chapters on anger to grief to trauma, healing, spirituality, recovery, and more. If I have any criticism of this book, its that its subject matter is so expansive that its hard for Dayton to address each topic as profoundly as I wished. However, each topic itself could probably be its own book, so having them in short and easily digestible pieces helped! ( )