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ACT with Love: Stop Struggling, Reconcile Differences, and Strengthen Your Relationship with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

von Russ Harris

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Picture-perfect storybook romances don't exist in real life. Couples fight. Feelings of love wax and wane through the years. And the stress and tedium of everyday life and work can often drive a wedge between even the most devoted couples. So, how can you reignite passion and intimacy in your relationship, cultivate greater understanding and compassion between yourself and your partner, and bring the joy back to your love life? In this fully revised edition of ACT with Love, therapist and world-renowned ACT expert Russ Harris shows how developing psychological flexibility-the ability to be in the present moment with openness, awareness, and focus, and to take effective action in line with one's values-can help you and your partner strengthen your relationship. Also included is new information on attachment theory, mindfulness and self-compassion techniques, and assertiveness and boundary-setting skills. You'll learn how to: let go of conflict, open up, and live fully in the present; use mindfulness to increase intimacy, connection, and understanding; resolve painful conflicts and reconcile long-standing differences; and act on your values to build a meaningful relationship. If you're looking to increase feelings of intimacy, love, and connection with your partner, this book has everything you need to get started-together.… (mehr)
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I really love ACT as a therapeutic framework. This book was a little too self-helpy for me, but did include a few different exercises that seem worth trying. My main takeaways are that I am *extremely* fused to a few thoughts and rules. I suppose step 1 is to defuse, but I'm so fused that it's hard to imagine that actually working because the thoughts are *true*.

Maybe I just need therapy! ( )
  beautifulshell | Aug 27, 2020 |
This book is grounded in the ACT (acceptance committment therapy) approach used by several psychologists. It has a Buddhist slant since it's about being "mindful." That said, I found it to be very helpful by pointing out all the ways we can help drive things wrong in our relationships rather than just our partners. The author acknowledges that there are some real situations where people should just leave - abuse, etc - but doesn't address those in this book. He's all about examing our own behaviors and identifying ways in which we tell ourselves stories that sort of program our minds to see our partners in particular ways. By looking at our thoughts about our partners or what they do or do not do we can separate ourselves from those thoughts. It's a lot of work, but the author points out that whatever we are experiencing with one person now we will likely experience with someone else, the grass is not always greener. So, better to work on what you have rather than on what might be. My only gripe with the book is that the author tends to be a bit repetitive in his writing and probably could have made this much shorter. ( )
  david7466 | Jul 28, 2011 |
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Picture-perfect storybook romances don't exist in real life. Couples fight. Feelings of love wax and wane through the years. And the stress and tedium of everyday life and work can often drive a wedge between even the most devoted couples. So, how can you reignite passion and intimacy in your relationship, cultivate greater understanding and compassion between yourself and your partner, and bring the joy back to your love life? In this fully revised edition of ACT with Love, therapist and world-renowned ACT expert Russ Harris shows how developing psychological flexibility-the ability to be in the present moment with openness, awareness, and focus, and to take effective action in line with one's values-can help you and your partner strengthen your relationship. Also included is new information on attachment theory, mindfulness and self-compassion techniques, and assertiveness and boundary-setting skills. You'll learn how to: let go of conflict, open up, and live fully in the present; use mindfulness to increase intimacy, connection, and understanding; resolve painful conflicts and reconcile long-standing differences; and act on your values to build a meaningful relationship. If you're looking to increase feelings of intimacy, love, and connection with your partner, this book has everything you need to get started-together.

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