Margaux Bergen
Autor von Navigating Life: Things I Wish My Mother Had Told Me
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Navigating Life: Things I Wish My Mother Had Told Me by Margaux Bergen is a recommended guide to life for those just starting out on their own. Bergen wrote the eight essays for her own children, starting when her oldest daughter, Charlotte, was nine, and gave her the guide when she left for college.
Bergen writes:
"Three questions: Who are you? To what are you committed? How will you serve? Ask them over and over. You may never fully answer, but the process of posing these questions raises the possibility of developing a conscious and caring engagement with the world.
My vision: that this record will arm you with a loving and practical text as you leave and start navigating your way through life, so you may always ask the questions: who am I and how may I be of use to others?
My aim: to raise, kind, civilized, thoughtful, and aware children. And please, Jesus, ones that will also learn to pay their bills on time, receive more than they broadcast, empty the dishwasher, write timely thank-you notes, read the paper, and look kindly on the world.
My hope: that this life chronicle might offer a map to guide you in becoming adults who are curious and empathetic, strong and warm, practical and, above all, good listeners."
"This is what you need: the ability to write clearly, to think deeply and critically, and finally to own your knowledge, which will arm you in the world of work and grown-ups. The ability to develop a point of view, even if you aren’t an expert, is valuable. So read the paper, listen to the news, and talk to your friends. Then own your opinion. Or, as I have done occasionally when I can’t make up my mind, talk to someone whose mind you respect. Never underestimate the value of a good conversation. That is one of the first rules of adult life."
The essays are mainly a series of anecdotes and reminiscences of Bergen's life, therefore it feels more like an autobiography. It is an honest account and full of practical tips, but most of the suggestions about living well that are more universally applicable to all are at the end of the book.
The beginning starts strong, with all the hopes of what she'd like to share, as expressed in the excerpts above, but then the book became way too anecdotal for me. I have read much stronger and more succinct treatises on starting out your adult life that were better suited to a much wider audience of new graduates. This is hardly a good guide for everyone who is starting to navigate adult life. It's worthwhile, but the appeal will largely be limited based on the content.
One of the most insightful comments is this: "Words hang in the air. They lodge in your soul. They can unwittingly inform our actions and responses for decades." This is clearly a Biblical principle that people have been exposed to for centuries. In fact, many of the words of wisdom and little gems found within this discourse can be found in countless other places. The question is more on presentation. If you like anecdotal stories with your words of advice then this may be a good choice.
Disclosure: My advanced reading copy was courtesy of the publisher for review purposes.
http://shetreadssoftly.blogspot.com/2016/08/navigating-life.html
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1727637889… (mehr)
Bergen writes:
"Three questions: Who are you? To what are you committed? How will you serve? Ask them over and over. You may never fully answer, but the process of posing these questions raises the possibility of developing a conscious and caring engagement with the world.
My vision: that this record will arm you with a loving and practical text as you leave and start navigating your way through life, so you may always ask the questions: who am I and how may I be of use to others?
My aim: to raise, kind, civilized, thoughtful, and aware children. And please, Jesus, ones that will also learn to pay their bills on time, receive more than they broadcast, empty the dishwasher, write timely thank-you notes, read the paper, and look kindly on the world.
My hope: that this life chronicle might offer a map to guide you in becoming adults who are curious and empathetic, strong and warm, practical and, above all, good listeners."
"This is what you need: the ability to write clearly, to think deeply and critically, and finally to own your knowledge, which will arm you in the world of work and grown-ups. The ability to develop a point of view, even if you aren’t an expert, is valuable. So read the paper, listen to the news, and talk to your friends. Then own your opinion. Or, as I have done occasionally when I can’t make up my mind, talk to someone whose mind you respect. Never underestimate the value of a good conversation. That is one of the first rules of adult life."
The essays are mainly a series of anecdotes and reminiscences of Bergen's life, therefore it feels more like an autobiography. It is an honest account and full of practical tips, but most of the suggestions about living well that are more universally applicable to all are at the end of the book.
The beginning starts strong, with all the hopes of what she'd like to share, as expressed in the excerpts above, but then the book became way too anecdotal for me. I have read much stronger and more succinct treatises on starting out your adult life that were better suited to a much wider audience of new graduates. This is hardly a good guide for everyone who is starting to navigate adult life. It's worthwhile, but the appeal will largely be limited based on the content.
One of the most insightful comments is this: "Words hang in the air. They lodge in your soul. They can unwittingly inform our actions and responses for decades." This is clearly a Biblical principle that people have been exposed to for centuries. In fact, many of the words of wisdom and little gems found within this discourse can be found in countless other places. The question is more on presentation. If you like anecdotal stories with your words of advice then this may be a good choice.
Disclosure: My advanced reading copy was courtesy of the publisher for review purposes.
http://shetreadssoftly.blogspot.com/2016/08/navigating-life.html
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1727637889… (mehr)
***This book was reviewed via Netgalley***
This book is a visceral look at the trials and tribulations, the celebrations and exultations of one life, and the lessons learned along the way, distilled in the pelican of soul and body, a precious written elixir to aid the ongoing alchemy of others. Written first, and foremost, mother to eldest daughter, Navigating Life by Margaux Bergen has much to teach any who read it.
I absolutely devoured this book. It’s writ in a witty, engaging style that captures, and keeps, the attention, forcing one to reevaluate their own life, and serves to jump start their own introspection. I found the whole concept fascinating, and something to consider. I can articulate in writing like I never will in speech. These are candid discourses from a mother to her daughter. There's a level of intimacy there that I envy. I wish I could have that with my mother, written or otherwise...but where I strive to be open-minded, she is closed, and vice versa. Que sera, sera.
As I've read through this, I catch myself wondering what lessons I would share, what focus. The author has a great deal of focus on sociological matters. Given the values expressed, and jobs held, this makes sense. Mine, I think, would focus on issues anthropological. A tolerance for diverse cultures. A deep and abiding respect for the archaeological legacy of our ancestors, and the lessons good and bad to be learned there.
This book is separated into several broad categories: Learning, Conversation, Work, Blood Greed, Home, Relationships, My Way, Your Way. Each category wanders through different aspects, and is filled with anecdotes, facts, stories, philosophy, and above all, useful guidance.
The section on Blood Greed fascinated me the most. It really is a condensed little guide to spiritual alchemy, though not discussed in those terms. At another place, the author is discussing her dying father, and expressing concern that the instability of his life might be hidden in her. “I fear his legacy. Does his rot linger in me?” That hit me so hard, as I often wonder about the glitches in my parents’ personalities expressing themselves in me. We all have biological tendencies/predispositions from our parents. We also have the legacy of inculcated behaviours, passed down til a perceptive person says 'No!’ and breaks the cycle. I feared relationships because I didn't want to be either of my parents. But recognising it helped to break it.
This is followed by the author's remembrances of her father's passing, and how what was most mourned was that her father didn't love her. I feel that, so deeply. I loved how open she was about it, revealing such thoughts to her daughter, and now to the world. That's a special sort of courage, to be so openly vulnerable.
There is one part, near the beginning, that is a poem written by the daughter. I think italics would help, just to demarcate from the rest of the text. It begins 'I left dear kindergarten’, and comes a paragraph away from the first mentioning that the poem had been written. At first it seemed a bizarrely incongruous break from the thread of the section, with tone and style changing abruptly.
🎻🎻🎻🎻🎻 Highly recommended… (mehr)
This book is a visceral look at the trials and tribulations, the celebrations and exultations of one life, and the lessons learned along the way, distilled in the pelican of soul and body, a precious written elixir to aid the ongoing alchemy of others. Written first, and foremost, mother to eldest daughter, Navigating Life by Margaux Bergen has much to teach any who read it.
I absolutely devoured this book. It’s writ in a witty, engaging style that captures, and keeps, the attention, forcing one to reevaluate their own life, and serves to jump start their own introspection. I found the whole concept fascinating, and something to consider. I can articulate in writing like I never will in speech. These are candid discourses from a mother to her daughter. There's a level of intimacy there that I envy. I wish I could have that with my mother, written or otherwise...but where I strive to be open-minded, she is closed, and vice versa. Que sera, sera.
As I've read through this, I catch myself wondering what lessons I would share, what focus. The author has a great deal of focus on sociological matters. Given the values expressed, and jobs held, this makes sense. Mine, I think, would focus on issues anthropological. A tolerance for diverse cultures. A deep and abiding respect for the archaeological legacy of our ancestors, and the lessons good and bad to be learned there.
This book is separated into several broad categories: Learning, Conversation, Work, Blood Greed, Home, Relationships, My Way, Your Way. Each category wanders through different aspects, and is filled with anecdotes, facts, stories, philosophy, and above all, useful guidance.
The section on Blood Greed fascinated me the most. It really is a condensed little guide to spiritual alchemy, though not discussed in those terms. At another place, the author is discussing her dying father, and expressing concern that the instability of his life might be hidden in her. “I fear his legacy. Does his rot linger in me?” That hit me so hard, as I often wonder about the glitches in my parents’ personalities expressing themselves in me. We all have biological tendencies/predispositions from our parents. We also have the legacy of inculcated behaviours, passed down til a perceptive person says 'No!’ and breaks the cycle. I feared relationships because I didn't want to be either of my parents. But recognising it helped to break it.
This is followed by the author's remembrances of her father's passing, and how what was most mourned was that her father didn't love her. I feel that, so deeply. I loved how open she was about it, revealing such thoughts to her daughter, and now to the world. That's a special sort of courage, to be so openly vulnerable.
There is one part, near the beginning, that is a poem written by the daughter. I think italics would help, just to demarcate from the rest of the text. It begins 'I left dear kindergarten’, and comes a paragraph away from the first mentioning that the poem had been written. At first it seemed a bizarrely incongruous break from the thread of the section, with tone and style changing abruptly.
🎻🎻🎻🎻🎻 Highly recommended… (mehr)
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I love what she has done and share it with everyone else. However, there is no one correct approach to living or parenting for everyone. That meaning said, I agree with some of her advice and disagree with some of them. It is always good to see other people's perspectives on life.
4 out of 5 stars
Received a free copy from BookSparks WRC 2017 in exchange for an honest review.… (mehr)