Jas Dosanjh

Thank you, Goodreads FirstReads, for my complimentary review copy.

I chose to read this book because, being of the same ethnicity, I am familiar with, and can relate to the culture and attitudes. It’s Jas’ memoir, conveyed, partly, via a series of conversations between Jas and her therapist(distinguished by italics). Each chapter has a title hinting at its content.

Jas was born and brought up in a large family. Her family lived in England, but it might as well have been a small Punjabi village. Her elders had created a "virtual India" and lived accordingly. She and her female relatives lived in an atmosphere of brutal misogyny, hypocrisy, emotional blackmail, and double standards. There was also rampant reverse discrimination. Her family, and like-minded members of her Sikh community, believed that their religion and culture was superior, so they isolated themselves. They refused to socialize outside their insulated group. Communication and contact with outsiders was limited to school, work, and situations where there was no other option.

Her family life was a series of traumatic events. Fortunately, she got some reprieve from the suffocating, repressive confines of her home in the guise of her grandmothers, both paternal(“mama) and maternal(“bibi”) and her love of reading. Although “Mama” died when Jas was very young, she wasn’t completely gone from her life. Jas had a unique ability to sense those who have passed on. While it gave her great comfort, it also advised caution. Alas, the cautionary message came too late.

Even though there were endless rigid and unreasonable rules imposed upon her and the females in her family and community, there were some bright spots. There was family all around to spend time and commiserate with. Also, although she was considered to be a “burden,” her parents valued a good education.

I was riveted by Jas’ compelling, yet disturbing memoir. Being that she’s a product of an environment full of repression, paranoia, and judgment, her strength, courage, conviction, and open-mindedness is commendable. I look forward to the next installment in the series, Not The Property Of.… (mehr)